You've Got To Fight For The Right To Party!
by Precious Pup
Summary: TEAM FIC - The team are busy trying to capture McGee who has been accidentially drugged,lost his inhibitions & fears & become dangerous. Meanwhile NCIS headquarters has been shut down. The team are coming up with a plan to capture their errant friend
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

McGee scratched at his hand. It itched and there was a little red spot. He peered at it wondering if it was some sort of insect bite. Maybe that was why he was feeling a bit weird. Not weird as such maybe he was coming down with something?

He had been fine this morning. It had been a pretty slow morning and he and Tony had gone to poke around some research laboratory and ask some questions. The company contracted out to the Navy for … well something (no one was being very specific in answering their questions) and the Director had received a vague heads up from Homeland Security. Some general chatter coming from some unspecific sources had mentioned the company and one of its projects – possibly.

It was all very 'need to know' and Tony and McGee apparently didn't need to know. Although how they were expected to do their jobs without knowing what it was they were supposed to be asking about, McGee would never know.

He suddenly felt a flash of irrational anger about the whole thing and then as soon as it had appeared it was gone. McGee took a deep breath and considered himself. Weird. He had a soapy taste in the back of his mouth which he had only just noticed and that normally meant he was coming down with a cold. He also felt a bit hot but that could be due to him still wearing his trench coat. Had he simply forgotten to take it off? Weird.

They had been working hard lately, case after unrelenting case. Maybe he was just worn down. He really didn't want to take a day off sick just because he was feeling a bit 'off'

His thoughts seemed to be bouncing around in his head and he was feeling increasingly unsettled, and hot and consequently sweaty.

Suddenly Gibbs was back and he said …. Something. McGee had looked at him and saw his mouth move but for an instant it was like his hearing had just gone offline or something. He stared at Gibbs and watched as Tony and Ziva grabbed their gear and headed to the elevator. Whatever it was they were all meant to go. McGee grabbed his stuff and headed towards the elevator, one finger stuck in his ear as if to clear some mystery obstruction.

It seemed a moment later and McGee was stuck in the car on their way somewhere. He seemed to be having trouble concentrating on the details. He was sure he was told and he even had the sensation he had nodded his response but he found he didn't care.

It shocked him briefly that he didn't care. It seemed very important to a part of him that he should care but right now he didn't care. He didn't even care that he was in the back seat. He always got stuck with the back seat.

Suddenly all that mattered was the sun was shining, he was with his friends and he was happy. He couldn't remember when he had felt so happy. He felt overcome with a sense of satisfaction with his life. He was healthy, young, fit, doing a job that both mattered and that he loved. He had a family that cared about him, he had money in the bank, a Porsche in the car park and a date on the Friday night. Everything was suddenly right with the world and every anxiety, every insecurity that seemed to chatter constantly to him in the background of his mind just slipped away.

Tim watched the pretty trees as they drove past, the children playing in the school grounds and heard a dog bark playfully at its owner. He could smell cookies baking and he was sure he could hear a surprise birthday present being wrapped with a big red ribbon. Someone out there saw their true love for the first time just in that instant. He sighed and smiled out the window allowing himself to wallow in the rapture of being alive.

Tony watched McGee carefully. He was acting, well weird. He had been a bit vacant before and now he seemed so contented he was positively beaming…. At nothing. If he got any happier he looked like he was going to stick his head out the window and feel the breeze against his face like a dog. It was unnerving seeing Probie so happy. There was a certain constant nervous tension about him that seemed to keep him on his feet. It kept him asking the difficult questions, kept him pushing himself to do the things he didn't really want to do. Without it McGee seemed very young and carefree and possibly drunk?

Tony wasn't sure what was wrong only that something was. Call it his gut. Could he say anything? How about 'Boss, McGee is currently too happy I think he should be taken off this investigation?' Yeah that sounded right.

McGee suddenly turned around, his big green eyes moist. 'Tony, Tony I just saw the most beautiful flower! It was like the most perfect flower in the world.' He smiled at Tony delighted 'I'm glad I saw it with you' and then he turned around and stared entranced out the window again, this time putting both his hands up onto the glass.

Ok THAT was definitely not standard Probie behavior. Still Tony held his tongue. Maybe it was a bet? Maybe Abby and Ziva had put McGee up to something to get him in trouble with Gibbs. Ahh that could be it. He smiled smugly. McGee had been fine this morning so that had to be it. You had to get up pretty early in the morning to get Anthony DiNozzo.

McGee felt his stomach clench and his head whirled making him feel a bit dizzy and sick. He was hot again, sweaty hot. He pulled open his shirt collar some more and wriggled and took his jacket off.

'What?' DiNozzo was staring at him. DiNozzo always seemed to be staring at him, touching him, teasing him. He was not some stupid toy to be left upside down in the dirty sand pit when Tony ran off to play with the cool kids. All the happy feelings of a moment ago drained away leaving him feeling exhausted and cold. He shivered a little and glared at Tony.

'Stop looking at me!' McGee felt irrationally angry at Tony. He knew it was irrational but he couldn't seem to help himself.

'Tony stop looking at McGee' Gibbs called over his shoulder smirking at his two agents in the back.

'But Boss I wasn't!' Tony protested surprised at the sudden reversal of mood from McGee.

McGee surprised him again when he stuck his tongue out at him and pulled a mean face screwing his nose up. 

That was it, something was definitely up.

'Ah Boss something is really wrong with McGee. He just stuck his tongue out at me'

Gibbs sighed and glanced across at Ziva sitting in the passenger seat, who was trying to hide the smirk on her face. Gibbs swore to himself. He felt like he was rounding up kids sometime instead of adult professional highly trained agents.

'McGee don't stick your tounge out at Tony. Even if he has done something to deserve it.'

'Hey!' Tony protested again. Alright so generally it was him doing something to McGee and he did deserve it but this time he was innocent. McGee smirked at Tony before suddenly shivering and looking up at Tony with a lost, confused look on his face.

'Are you ok buddy? Tony leaned across and put a hand on his arm, seeing the slight sheen of sweat across McGee's brow as he turned.

'Don't touch me Tony! Stop touching me. I don't like it!' McGee snapped his eyes suddenly angry again.

Tony reared back 'Hey wear a mood ring why don't you McGee so we know what's going on with you'

"Hey you two! Cut that out right now. Sort it out whatever it is and get your heads back on the case" Gibbs was angry now his patience with them worn thin. He stared back at them, his blue eyes reflecting in the rear vision mirror.

McGee sulked in the corner, the voices in his head screaming different things to him. What was he doing? He had felt so happy a moment before and now he just felt angry, no depressed, no cold. Was he sick? Deranged? He wasn't sure what was going on only that he couldn't seem to concentrate on any one thing in order to clearly think about it.

Except for one thing.

He wanted to kick Tony. Hard.

He didn't know why he wanted to kick Tony but he did. There seemed to be a new voice in his head. And it was growing louder and more insistent. McGee allowed himself to consider the option. Where would he kick Tony? In the leg. Easy. Why would he kick Tony in the leg? To piss him off. Why did he want to piss him off? That didn't seem so clear to voice but it assured him that it would soon.

The voice was soothing and hypnotic. It reminded McGee of thick golden honey running off a warm spoon which would pool briefly on Ziva's bare stomach and then drizzle down her warm tanned sides. Woah! Where did that thought come from? Ziva and honey?

McGee shook his head trying to clear the suddenly crystal clear vision of Ziva laying naked across his bed while he dribbled honey over her. It left and McGee felt suddenly colder for it. He shivered again and felt the anger return. Why was he doing this? He should be doing something useful not stuck in the back of this car going God knows where for some reason only Gibbs could fathom and would never tell them.

McGee contemplated his new universe and the different options presented by the voices in his head. He could see them rolling outwards into infinity, each tiny decision having its own small consequence which would build on another until his personal future was born.

He considered carefully and then……

Kicked Tony.

Hard in the leg.

'Hey!' Tony cried out as McGee kicked him and then sat back grinning as if watching to see what he would do

Gibbs swore as it seemed like a scuffle was going to break out in the back seat of the car. He braked hard and pulled over to the side of the road in a cloud of dust. He ripped off his seatbelt and climbed out before wrenching open the car door and hauling McGee out.

'Now what the hell is going on!'

Tony and Ziva had scrambled out and all four stood on the side of the quiet road and looked at each other.

McGee stood and watched as a pretty bee flew in lazy circles behind Gibbs head. Swoop, dip, zip, back, whee, swoop. He wondered if he was a bee if he would fly like that. He being who he was would probably fly fairly straight but not as fast as some of the bees but he would get his bee things done. Maybe this bee was on its way to make some honey? The honey that later he could pour over Ziva? He wished the bee well and hoped that he would make really sweet honey. He noticed that Gibbs seemed to be saying something to him very loudly that he couldn't understand but it was hurting his ears. They seemed very sensitive at the moment. He put his hands up to his ears then changed his mind and put them over his eyes and found that they shut out the light that had been making him squint. Did bees squint? He didn't think so but he must remember to ask a bee specialist when he met them. It seemed very important. What was the name of a bee specialist? He seemed to think he did know it but couldn't remember at the moment.

Gibbs had started shouting at McGee looking for answers when he noticed he wasn't even paying attention. He had a vacant look on his face and seemed to be looking at something behind him. Then McGee had put his hands over his eyes and just stood there with a sad sort of smile on his face.

Was McGee playing some sort of peek a boo with him? Gibbs stepped forward and pulled his agents hands down away from his eyes. Suddenly McGee came to life and wrenched his arms away from Gibbs.

'Don't touch me! I told you not to touch me!' McGee stood there trembling with anger, staring at them when suddenly the trembling became almost continuous and he swayed. Gibbs suddenly noticed how pale and sweaty McGee was. Gibbs reached McGee just as he crumpled into an untidy heap on the dusty ground.

Gibbs sighed and pushed away McGee's sweaty fringe as he found himself inadvertently cradling his agents head in his lap.

'McGee why didn't you tell us you weren't feeling well and you were running a fever?'

'I am?' McGee blinked up at him in confusion processing the world being sideways and lower than it had been only a moment before.

'Yes McGee. Since you seemed ok this morning it looks like maybe some nasty virus or even the flu. We are going to go back and you are going to go home and go to bed you hear?'.

McGee just nodded and found himself hoping that Ziva would come and help him up so he could run his hands over her. Ok he was definitely sick.


	2. Chapter 2

By the time they had turned around and made it back to headquarters it was already late in the day and it was apparent to everyone that McGee was sick. He was mumbling about bees almost constantly and had declared earnestly to Tony that he was going to write a book about them.

Tony wasn't sure what it was particularly that had gabbed McGee's imagination about bees but he had managed to smack Tony in the face twice as he attempted to explain the aerodynamics of their flight to him in the back seat of the car. With a growing bruise on his leg and two slaps in the face now running on McGee's tab Tony was sure he would be loosing patience with him, if McGee wasn't so funny.

McGee could be funny in the office but it was often out of left field clever funny. Watching him now in his slightly fevered state it was like he was drunk and Tony personally thought it was a bit hilarious, although he kept that to himself as he caught Gibbs worried looks at McGee through the rear vision mirror.

Once they had parked Gibbs and Tony hauled McGee out of the car, where he promptly lifted his feet up as if he was a toddler swinging between the hands of his parents.

"McGee! Put your feet down and walk damn you!' Gibbs was getting tired and impatient and having one agent down sick wasn't going to help this so called 'investigation' aka waste of time directive from the Director go away any faster.

'Why?' McGee looked at Gibbs bright eyed and curious and suddenly Gibbs couldn't think of a good reason why McGee should walk himself into the building. He wanted someone to carry him too some days.

Tony came to the rescue with 'Because if you don't we are going to drop you on your butt and it will hurt'

McGee considered this for an instant before putting his feet down and walked, albeit a bit wobbly into the building.

'Thanks Tony. He does seem to be getting worse and I don't think him driving himself home is a good idea. Why don't you grab his gear and you and Ziva go drop him home?' Gibbs considered the disappearing McGee as he swung himself through the revolving doors………...……..…and came back out delighted to see them. Gibbs sighed as McGee raised his hands above his head and waived at them, before turning to tackle the doors again.

The only thought Tony had in that instant was this was his chance and possible his only chance to get his hands on McGee's car. The silver Porsche glimmered in his imagination and he smiled.

'Right Boss, I'm onto it' Tony hustled Ziva into the building aching to grab the keys, put the top down and feel the purr of the precision engine in front of him...….. and get McGee home and safe in bed of course.

They arrived in the bull pen and found Abby already waiting for them.

'Abby' McGee was delighted to see her and wrapped his arms around her in his version of an Abby hug. Tony laughed as he watched Abby's eyes grow wide as McGee's hands started wandering over her body while his head remained buried in her shoulder.

'Ahh Tony? What's going on?' Abby was trying to wriggle out of McGee's embrace but he seemed very determined that she stay there and simply readjusted his hold on her.

'McGee is sick, and appears to be running a fever and slightly delirious' Ziva stated factually.

Abby managed to step away from McGee and she shook her finger in his face which he watched as it wagged up and down. 'You're lucky your sick mister the way those hands were wandering.'

McGee looked at her innocently, as only McGee could. "I'm sick' he implored with his big green eyes wide and then he coughed.  
Once.  
Pathetically.  
Before burying himself into Abby shoulder and pulling her close.

'Whoa there buddy I think you should stop that right now and go stand over there'

'I can't' McGee mumbled into her gunpowder smelling hair

'Why not?'

'Because my legs are all wobbly' He stood up releasing Abby and he did seem like he was going to slip sideways on them.  
Tony reached to his side to catch him but McGee somehow in mid fall slid sideways and managed to drape himself over Ziva. He giggled as he wrapped his arms around her. He was considerably taller than Ziva and she seemed to disappear under an avalanche of Probie.

'Ok that's enough now Probie we're going to take you home to bed now'

McGee looked at Tony and rolled his eyes 'Tony, I told you I just don't feel that way about you' McGee patted Tony comfortingly on the shoulder. 'Sorry Buddy'

Tony sighed as the girls laughed and thought of the Porsche.

Tony had stopped thinking McGee was funny by the time he and Ziva had got him to his apartment. Ziva had followed along behind and while driving the Porsche was great Tony would have enjoyed it more if McGee hadn't changed the radio station every two minutes and waived happily to every good looking girl between Headquarters and Silver Springs. It had been like having a slobbery enthusiastic Labrador with ADD in the car.

It seemed that Ziva and Tony had got him home just in time as once the front door was opened McGee rushed to the bathroom and threw up.

'Ughhh' Tony stuck his head around the door and saw McGee shivering, sweaty and miserable on the bathroom floor. His happy haze had seemed to have disappeared again and he looked up at Tony despondently. 'I don't feel very well'

'That's alright Buddy' Tony reached down and grabbed McGee and then maneuvered him into the bedroom and pushed him down onto his bed. He took off his shoes and unbuttoned his shirt, noticing how hot McGee's skin was. He then started on his belt and wriggled his pants off being grateful that McGee wasn't the sort of guy to go commando. McGee's eyes seemed to be both glassing over and tearing up. Tony felt his damp forehead and then turned back into the bathroom to check to see if McGee had anything that could help a fever.

Tony rummaged through McGee's immaculate bathroom drawers and cupboard. Who kept their bathrooms drawers that neat? It was a sickness really. Tony smiled at the packet of condoms in the top drawer. They probably had dust on them, still Probie was a be prepared kind of guy.

He returned to the bedroom to find McGee completely dressed again. 'McGee what are you doing? 'Tony was surprised to see McGee struggling to put his socks back on.  
'I'm getting ready for work. The boss doesn't like us to be late. Won't you be late for work too Tony?'

Tony sighed in exasperation and called Ziva in to help him. Ziva had stayed outside knowing how McGee was about his privacy.

'Right I will hold him down and you take his clothes off. He is so out of it he won't remember it anyway.' Tony instructed Ziva as McGee lay out on the bed.

Ziva nodded and started unbuttoning McGee's shirt. McGee lay there completely still as Ziva undressed him while Tony sat him up and got him to drink a large glass of water along with an aspirin to help with the fever.

'Now you're not going to dress yourself again are you? 'Tony looked sternly at McGee who was now wearing just his boxers and tucked up under the covers of his bed.

'Why would I do that when Ziva undressed me?' McGee looked confused while Tony muttered about McGee having no problems having his clothes taken of when _Ziva_ was doing it.

Tony and Ziva stepped out into the other room and in an instant McGee was asleep. His face was flushed, his fringe sticking to his face and he was making sad unhappy little moaning sounds as he twisted around in bed.

Tony checked his watch and sighed. It was already the end of the day and by the time he headed back to work he would simply be leaving again.

"I think I'm going to stick around for a while. McGee really doesn't look so good and I want to keep an eye on him. Make sure he gets enough water and doesn't fall out of bed or do anything silly'

'Are you sure Tony? I do live closer'

Tony considered something McGee had said to him about honey while in the back seat of the car and his wandering hands back at Headquarters. 'I think it might be best that I be the one that stays with him Ziva'

Ziva considered the wisdom of this and nodded. While she could take care of herself she really didn't want to hurt McGee especially when he didn't seem to know what it was he was doing. She smiled at Tony 'You're a good friend, Tony'

Tony rolled his eyes 'Don't tell anyone I'm sooking after McGee please?'

Ziva laughed and with a quick farewell kiss on McGee's forehead who was still unpleasantly asleep, headed for the door. 'Have a good night Tony'

Tony sighed and after shutting the door behind Ziva went and spread himself out on the other side of the bed next to McGee.

'You really should put some thought into getting a couch McGee. You don't even have any comfortable chairs.' He took the remote off the bedside table and turned on the plasma on the wall. At least McGee had decent taste in TV's. Tony arranged some pillows behind his head and prepared to settle in for the evening.


	3. Chapter 3

Tony groaned and sat up, rubbing his aching head with his hands. What a night! He had ended up staying the entire night as not long after Ziva had left McGee had seemed to get even worse and Tony had been genuinely worried about him.

After a long night filled with McGee tossing and turning, fever induced nightmares, frequent trips to get another glass of water down McGee's parched throat, Tony had barely slept himself. It seemed he would fall asleep only to be woken by a fist in his stomach as McGee thrashed next to him.

At one stage Tony had decided he was going to call Ducky if it got any worse. Tony looked down at McGee who for the first time seemed to be sleeping peacefully. It seemed the fever had broken and while his face was still flushed he seemed to be sleeping naturally. There really was nothing like the sight of McGee asleep. He seemed content and his breathing was measured slow and deep. Tony sighed knowing that with one agent down already he wasn't going to get the chance to go home and catch up on some extra shut eye himself.

He groggily phoned Ziva and asked for a ride into work. He could get showered and changed at work as he always kept a spare set of clothes in his locker. It would save a long drive across town and he realized he didn't have his own car with him as it was still back at the navy yard.

He took a few minutes to load up McGee's bedside table with glasses of water, orange juice, some cookies he found in the cupboards, aspirin, tissues and everything else he could think of that McGee might need when he awoke. He also wrote McGee a quick note telling him not to worry and stay in bed as they all knew he was sick.

Within minutes Ziva was knocking at the door and Tony slipped out smothering a yawn with his hand. He took one last look at McGee still sleeping soundly and smiled tiredly at Ziva.

'So Ziva how about a Breakfast Burrito on the way to work?'

Tim blinked his eyes open seeing the light streaming around the edges of his blinds. He stretched and yawned feeling refreshed. He considered the shape of the bed next to him indicating that someone had stayed over the previous night. He considered for a moment before seeing Tony's note on the bedside table. He read over it and smiled. Really Tony could be such a mother hen sometimes. What was there to worry about? He felt fantastic! In fact he felt better than he had in a long time.

Tim got up and opened the blinds looking out at the morning. Well he certainly wasn't going to waste a fantastic day like today just laying about in bed all day – especially if he was alone in it.

He stepped into the shower and let the cooling refreshing spray rinse the dried sweat from his body as he considered what he was going to do. The normal sensible voice in his head told him he should go to work since he felt fine. The new voice told him he should go to work because there were more woman and interesting things he could get up to at work, including teasing Tony about spending the night with him in his bed.

His destination decided Tim got out of the shower and while still drying himself went and turned his stereo on.

_Please don't stop the music_

_I wanna take you away_

_Let's escape into the music_

_DJ let it play_

_I just can't confuse it_

_Please don't stop the music_

_DJ take me away_

_Please don't stop the music_

Tim wrapped the towel around his trim waist and stood naked in the bathroom appraising himself in the mirror. He looked really great today. His skin seemed to be glowing with good health, he didn't have a spot or blemish, even wet his hair look cool. Perhaps finally after all these awkward years he was getting it together. No he definitely wasn't going to waste today.

He flicked through his normal work clothes sighing in disappointment. Boring, bland, grey, lumpy, desperate, sad, boring, T-Shirt. He wanted to look _hot _

Suddenly he remembered that Armani had called and left a message on his phone that his tailored suit was ready for collection. It had been some days and he hadn't had the chance to collect it yet. He smiled, bobbing his head slightly in time to the music. Gibbs wouldn't mind him coming in a bit late. Hell they weren't expecting him to come in at all.

Tim picked his best suit out of the wardrobe, his' date suit' and put it on. He sniffed at his cologne and put it down. He wasn't sure what it was but his sense of smell and touch seemed very sensitive today. Maybe some aftermath sensitivity from the fever? Whatever it was he wasn't wearing any of the aftershaves and colognes he had here.

Still that could be easily fixed. He slipped on his best leather shoes, grabbed his wallet, keys, and sunglasses and strolled towards the door feeling pretty fantastic. He felt even more fantastic as he slipped into his gorgeous gleaming Porsche, sliding across the leather seats and pulled out of his apartment building. The sun was shining and he pushed the button that lowered the soft top and collected it into the special hatch at the back. Yes it was definitely a top down sort of day.

Tim turned up the music and swung the car smoothly into the traffic tapping his fingers on the edge of the door. It seemed within minutes he was outside the Armani shop and he even got a park right out the front so he just slid the car in and stepped out.

Tim collected his suit and decided he needed a couple of new shirts, cuff links and silk ties to go with it. He took the opportunity to change into his new suit while the assistant assured him the blinding white crisp new shirt he was wearing with it looked as good open necked as it would if he was wearing a tie. He stood in his new attire and appraised himself. Now he looked _Hot _The deep navy suit showed off how broad his shoulders were, trimmed his waist down and the color wasn't dark enough to wash his light complexion out. His eyes had never looked greener. The white shirt was so white he actually appeared to have a slight tan in comparison. With the new silver cuff links shining at his wrists, complementing his ridiculously expensive watch he practically breathed money.

He smiled and watched how as he turned the perfectly fitted pants showed off his firm butt. Hey bet Ziva would give him a 5 out of 5 today. Wallowing in self confidence he asked the assistant where the best place was for him to get some new cologne and was directed to an exclusive perfumery around the corner.

After spending more money in a single clothing transaction than he ever had in his entire life and not even blinking he found himself at the Perfumers.

Surrounded by fabulous smells Tim wandered around wondering where to start when he was tapped on the shoulder by an ancient old man.

'Can I help you?'

Tim smiled I am looking for some new cologne and aftershave actually but I'm not sure where to start.

The old man appraised Tim and smiled. 'Tell me about yourself and I will see what I can do.' The old man took in Tim's beautiful new suit, the Porsche parked outside and took a general estimate of his wealth.

'I'm an NCIS Special Agent, that's Navel Criminal Investigative Service. I am a computer specialist as well as being a field agent and I also have published two novels under my pen name Thom E Gemcity' Tim said proudly. He had no time for being modest today. Besides it wasn't bragging just the truth.

The old man smiled again 'Ok well you're a little more complex than most clients I get in here but I'm happy to take up the challenge.' Suddenly the intelligence he could see in McGee's eyes made sense as well as the confident way he moved. This man was no stockbroker, he could handle himself in difficult situations. So maybe not a sportsman but certainly not unfamiliar with the more physical aspect of life. The old man looked around and considered the many shelves of different colored bottles. He was looking for something warmly masculine but something that wasn't too strong it would overwhelm, complex enough to reflex it's owners intelligence but not too fussy, delicate and mysterious enough it would reflect the artistic side of its Federal Agent wearer.

'Ah Ha! Got It.' The old man disappeared behind a shelf 'This is one that doesn't work with most people but for you I think it would be perfect. It also means that it's not a common scent that lots of other people will have.'

Tim leaned down to smell it as the old man sprayed some into the air and smiled 'Perfect.

What's it called?'

'Its an Italian scent called ' Euphoria' The old man wrapped up the complimenting cologne and aftershave while Tim applied some more liberally to his neck and jaw line.

'Have a nice day Sir'

Tim beamed feeling like he could take on the world 'Oh I will'

It had taken a surprisingly short time out of his morning to gather his purchases and Tim found himself being checked through security at the gate at the entrance of the navy yard.

He reached down and increased the volume of the stereo hearing Eric Clapton's soaring guitar and the familiar heavy drum beat glide effortlessly out of the Bose speakers.

_What will you do when you get lonely?_

_When nobody's waiting by your side_

_You've been hiding, running much too long_

_You know it's just your foolish pride_

_Layla!_

_You've got me on my knees _

_Layla!_

_I'm begging darling please…_

He found himself driving past where he usually parked and looking for something……..….

There. He smiled and the voices in his head chattered excitedly to him. There was something he had always wanted to try and had never dared. But today was different, today it felt like he could do anything. His reflexes seemed perfect, sight and smell equally brilliant and his mind had always been quick. He felt fearless and was brimming in confidence. If it wasn't going to be now, today it may never happen. He swung the Porsche around the car park again picking up speed, considering his options, calculating the precise moment he would need …….

_Layla !_

_You've got me on my knees_

_Layla!_

_I'm begging darling please_

_Layla!_

_Won't you easy my worried mind_

_Let's make the best of the situation_

_Before I finally go insane…._

…………... to slide his precious car sideways into the Directors car space, one of the few parallel parks in the entire yard.

The sun shone, the precision engine purred contentedly as he increased his speed further and then the instant was there and he stabbed at the clutch, ripped down two gears, hauled up the handbrakes and with tires smoking slid the car sideways…….

Precisely into the car space.

Tim sat for a moment the car still rocking a little with the sudden stop. He grinned and leaped out of the car.

Look out NCIS here comes Timothy McGee!


	4. Chapter 4

Tim didn't even notice the looks he got as he cruised through security. He felt great. He turned up the music he could hear in his head and stepped out in time. His long limbs had a nice fluidity to them resulting in his gait seeming smoother then his normal Gibbs directed hurried trot. His shoulders were back and his chin was up making him seem even taller than his 6 foot 1 inch frame allowed.

_Cause keeping it fresh is my main interest_

_Any minute_

_I'll be rolling through_

_So get ready_

_So get ready…_

_And any minute_

_I'll be coming through_

_So get ready_

_So get ready…_

_In the club they be jumping.. jumping_

Tony looked up and stared as someone who looked remarkably like McGee strolled out of the elevator. In fact it would have been McGee, well a better looking version if it wasn't for the undeniable fact that McGee was tucked up safe and sound in bed.

The not McGee headed towards McGee's desk and sat down with a nod in Tony's direction. Tony shot over to the not McGee and eyeballed him closely.

'Hey Tony' Tim flashed his white teeth confidently at him while Tony taking in the suit, perfectly falling hair and apparently complete lack of flu like symptoms wondered what episode of the Twilight Zone he had walked into.

'You look……. Different.'

"Yeah well you look like crap, Tony'

Tony pulled back and stared at McGee, while Tim assessed his opposition. Tony didn't look his best. He looked tired and flat and the fact that he was wearing his 'emergency' change of clothes didn't help. Normally looking immaculate he looked rumpled and grey.

Tony leaned forward and rapped McGee on the forehead 'Are you in there Probie?'

The new voice in Tim's head roared angrily and was suddenly smothered by the old familiar voice. Tim smiled and got up out of desk, holding Tony's gaze to make sure he didn't see what he was getting out of his desk drawer. He walked over to Tony's desk and sat on the edge of it.

'You know Tony I should thank you for looking out for me so well last night. I feel great today and I'm sure it is all due to you. I saw all the glasses, tissues and things you put out for me this morning, along with your little note of course.' He smiled winningly across at Tony while he emptied the contents of the superglue tube he had behind his back onto Tony's chair. Both voices in his head cheered, although one was a little more malicious about it than the other.

Tony smiled pleased with the praise. 'That's all right buddy. I was a bit worried about you for a while there. But you sure seem ok. That was one hell of a 24 virus though. Are you all done with the bees now?'

'Bees?'

'You developed some sort of obsession with bees. You were going to write a book about them remember?'

Tim shook his head and headed back to his desk. 'Yesterday seems pretty blank to be honest. And no I currently don't have any plans to write a book on bees.'

Suddenly Gibbs burst out of the elevator and strode into the bull pen only to come to a sudden halt as he saw McGee sitting calmly at his desk. He stalked over and stared at McGee. 'You sure you should be here?' Tim smiled and with a firm look in his eye walked out from behind his desk and eye balled Gibbs right back. The two men walked in a tight circle appraising each other. Tim felt the assessment in Gibbs' blue eyed stare and knew he was trying to tell if he was prepared for whatever might come up in the field. He didn't back down and simply questioned back with his own green eyed look, the new voice whispering in his head……..

_Are you too old for this Gibbs? Are you too biased to see all the possibilities a case might present? What else are you holding back from us Gibbs? Is it that which will get us all killed one day Gibbs?_

Gibbs pulled back at the steel he saw in McGee's gaze. Where had that come from? He smiled and took a step back to take in McGee appearance. "It's a little sharp for the field don't yah think?'

Tim smiled and smothered the voice under a cushion 'I suppose after feeling so bad yesterday I just wanted to feel ….nice'

'Alright then. Well the scuttlebutt is pointing us back to the Research Laboratory you two were at yesterday. Apparently there is some sort of highly experimental biological weapon that they _might_ have been working on which could be a reason for them suddenly popping up on Homeland Security's radar.'

Tim nodded and turned to grab his stuff when he heard Tony's plaintive 'Ahh Boss?'

Tony was stuck to his chair by both his pants and his shirt. He rolled out from behind his desk and stared at McGee 'I'm stuck.'

Tim smiled 'Yes I know Tony'

Tony looked almost confused 'You stuck…..

'Superglue to your chair Tony'

Tony looked up at the man who he had covered in blankets when he was cold, who he had bathed the sweat from his brow a dozen times during the night, who he had nursed delirious in his lap as he tried to get him to swallow some water……

Tony looked to Gibbs who seemed as surprised as he was. Gibbs personally thought it was good to see Tony get some comeuppance back from McGee but he was surprised at the timing of the incident.

'Why McGee?'

Suddenly McGee's big green eyes focused on him and Tony felt himself squirm. "Why do you do it to me Tony? For amusement? To belittle me?'

'Ahhhh well you know it's not like that McGee?'

'Do I Tony?' McGee eyes were hard and then suddenly just like that it was over and he smiled at Tony again. 'Looks like you could do with another change of clothes. Might I suggest scrubs?'

An hour later found them at the home of Dr Barbara Summers. They had been directed there as she was the head of a small specialist research group working within the confines of the larger facility. When they had asked to speak to her they had been told it was her day off. Gibbs insisted on getting her home address and within minutes the team found themselves speaking with a very attractive woman who was in the middle of baking some double chocolate fudge brownies.

Tony who was now feeling extra special as he had been reduced to wearing Probie's ugly emergency shirt and pants after the superglue incident was sure she was a bit too attractive to be a research scientist. The fact that she was wearing heels and a pretty tiny apron over her fitted red sundress while baking seemed odd too. I mean who did that? Unless it was some 50's retrospective.

Barbara, while surprised was reasonably amenable given a load of Special Agents had just rocked up to her door. Basically she told them nothing useful other than the company she worked for was not to her knowledge creating biological weapons, they had a great dental plan, she worked long hours through the weekends and so took the occasional weekday off to compensate. Gibbs noticed her flirting and smiling at McGee and smiled. This was normally Tony's role but given that Tony didn't understand half of what she had spoken about it probably wasn't unexpected.

'Dr Summers'

'Please call me Barbara'

'Would you mind if we had a bit of a look around?'

'Ah I suppose not? I'm not in any trouble am I?

'Not at the moment Dr Summers, ah Barbara. But we may need to speak to you again depending on what comes up'

Gibbs nodded to Tony and Ziva to head out and have a quiet poke around. When McGee looked over, Gibbs just tilted his head in Barbara's direction, subtly requesting for McGee to keep her busy and out of their hair.

'What are you baking?'

'Double chocolate fudge brownies. I love to bake but I don't get the chance very often. I was going to go out and have coffee with a girlfriend but she had to cancel so I started this instead' She smiled at the extremely cute agent currently standing in her kitchen.

'So do you like frosting?'

Tim leaned forward as she held up an index finger covered in glossy rich buttery chocolate frosting which she had scooped from around the edge of the large bowl………………and sucked it off her finger.

Damn that tasted amazing! He swallowed the rich full mouthful and then thoughtfully put his warm mouth around her finger again and slowly swirled his tongue around it getting off the last of the frosting. He watched her eyes and saw her breath catch as he sucked the last of the rich mixture from her finger. His eyes were mischievous as he ran the tip of his tongue across….

'McGee!' Gibbs walked in the kitchen to find his agent sucking the potential witness/suspects index finger.

Barbara stood there looking shocked. Not repulsed just surprised beyond measure. She had been flirting with him a little, more to take her mind of the fact several people were now poking their way around her home but she hadn't actually expected him to… to…. suck it off her finger?!

McGee looked wide eyed across to Gibbs, her finger still in his mouth. He seemed to suddenly realize what he was doing and slowly pulled his mouth off her finger and stood there looking confused and surprised while Gibbs dragged him into the next room.

Barbara looked at Tony who had just come back into the room her finger still held out, wet from McGee's saliva. 'Um is this evidence or something? Can I wipe if off?'

'Oh it's definitely the or something'

She wiped her fingers on the dishcloth while they all turned and listened to Gibbs ripping a chunk out of McGee.

'She …. Ambushed me.'

'Ambushed you? With what McGee? The frosting? She is a potential suspect and you are licking icing off her fingers! While we are searching her house! If this had to go to court what do you think the DA would make of that? Bad McGee! Go outside and stay in the truck. Do not move you understand!'

McGee threw an apologizing look over his shoulder to Barbara and then slunk outside to the truck. The voices in his head seemed to be having an argument with each other. One was horrified while the new voice seemed greatly amused by the whole thing. He felt like he had a headache coming on and it was still fairly early in the day.

Several minutes later Tony and Ziva joined McGee in the truck. There was initially silence as they took in his dejected expression. But it didn't last long.

'You know FLETC teaches you defense against a lot of things………' Tony shot McGee a sideways glance and continued 'Timothy McGee able to hack into the Pentagon, shoot people, pick locks, defuse car bombs and then suddenly WHAM! The chocolate frosting. Out of nowhere.'

'Shut up Tony'

'It did look like very nice icing though Tony' Ziva helpfully replied.

'It was frosting not icing'

'And the difference is?' Tony was looking amazed that McGee would bother arguing the point.

'The butter content' Tim was suddenly distracted by the thought of the buttery rich frosting – again and shook his head to clear it. When had his sense of taste been so strong?

'Hey even Superman has his kryptonite'. Ziva was trying to be helpful while also trying to get the image of McGee sucking the sweet confection off a near stranger's finger out of her mind.

'I can't believe what's worse. That you're comparing McGee to Superman or chocolate frosting to kryptonite. What's next defense courses for baked goods? Oh no we thought it was an unexploded missile but its worse. It's apple pie! Oh please don't let there be any whipped cream or we are all goners! Arrrhhhhhh Cinnamon!' Tony grabbed his chest and pretended to convulse while Ziva was wiping the tears of laughter from her eyes

'Shut Up Tony!

Gibbs suddenly swung himself into the driver's seat his face rigid. 'You will be relieved to know she won't be pressing charges.'

'What did she say?'

'Actually she said he had good tongue technique and wanted to know if she could have his number after she has been cleared from any potential case.'

Tony sniggered but was silenced by a death glare from Gibbs.

'McGee, we are going to have a little chat when we get back to the yard. You hear me McGee?' Gibbs banged on the back of the cab to get his attention

McGee's loud sigh could be heard coming through the window that separated them.

'Yes Boss'


	5. Chapter 5

(Thanks for the support guys! Sorry if my updating is a little slower than usual I try not to take too long as you lose the flow of the story but I'm working on two longer stories simultaneously as also doing The Elf Lord Mistress. So keep the faith. This story will hit its straps soon and then we will see what McGee can really do!)

McGee sat in the Directors office. He hated the Directors office, it was like being sent to the Principals office only worse. Or should he say like what he thought being sent to the Principals office would be like as he had never been. 

The 'voices' as he had come to consider them had started to become very loud in his head and they had even started arguing with each other over his actions. He hadn't felt quite right since yesterday lunchtime, not always bad in fact mostly good but definitely not like his usual self.

Gibbs's little chat had been side tracked as once they had returned to the Yard the Director had wanted to know why his car had been in her spot. Gibbs had been forced to relay the now famous 'frosting incident' and suddenly here he was.

The familiar voice was making the appropriate faces and saying placating things like "No Director I won't suck frosting off potential witnesses fingers……" while the other voice was silently completing the sentences with 'but I might consider using whipped cream next time'

And so back and forth it went with McGee looking at his most angelic and apologetic 'No Director my parking in your space wasn't a passive aggressive comment on your leadership of this organization' 

'Yes Director I understand the potential consequences of my actions'

'No Director I won't repeat any of these actions again'

Blah blah blah. While the old voice was in familiar apology mode the new voice took the opportunity to case the Director's office. He decided he really wanted to know what was in the timber cabinets at the end of the room. Was it cigars? Cognac? Lace underwear like they had once found in her glove compartment? 

The Director looked at the embarrassed and highly apologetic young agent in front of her. 

"I won't be taking this dressing down any further McGee. While I consider this behavior errant I don't think it will be repeated." She was stern but considered herself fair. 

Both of McGee's voices sniggered at the image of the Director giving him a _dressing down_ here in her office. She seemed like someone who was into the whole tie me up and spank me game. If she was the Spanker did that makes Gibbs the Spankee then? He considered the two of them role playing after hours. What did one do for kink when you were the female Director of an armed agency? Where handcuffs were as common as desk calendars, what did one do for a thrill? 

Suddenly he found himself pierced with the Gibbs stare and he knew he had been dismissed. He quickly got up and headed out of the office taking note of the security camera placement as he went. Finally he was out. He really was just looking too hot to be simply sitting around being told off about something he barely remembered. Such a waste when he could have been……

Cynthia!

My she looked great today. Tim sidled up to her as she sat down at her desk and leaned over to say hello.

Cynthia smiled up at the amiable agent. She had expected him to be rather depressed after coming out from one of the Directors little chats but he seemed to be positively beaming.

"Hello Agent McGee. You seem very … um upbeat today."

"Yes Cynthia I am. The sun is shining, I have money in the bank, a gun in my desk drawer and federal issue handcuffs I can use for my personal use. It's all pretty good."

Cynthia considered this statement for an instant as it seemed a bit ….odd? He was happy about having a gun in his drawer? And she really didn't want to think about what he had been up to with his handcuffs.

"So how did your little chat with the Director go?" She was trying to draw him out and find out what had really gone on for him to be so happy. The scuttlebutt was he sucked some woman's fingers but that must have been hugely exaggerated as scuttlebutt often was as McGee would never do anything like that.

"Oh fine. You know she was a bit pissed but I think that's just because no ones sucked her fingers in a while if you know what I mean." Tim raised his eyebrows suggestively while Cynthia looked a little shocked. Was he saying what she thought he was saying?

Tim sighed and decided that Cynthia was really no fun at all. He waived his farewell and strolled out of the office. He sat down at his computer and idly inserted a sub route command into the entire security system network. It didn't even seem to take very long. All his facilities seemed very switched on today. Well Duh! He was a genius although everyone seemed to forget about that until they wanted something impossible done and then everyone else got the credit. 

Bored. Bored. Bored. He drummed his fingers on the desk.

He pulled up the Navy Yards schematics including all floor plans, air ducts, fire exits, stairwells and access points. He compressed and downloaded the information to his PDA. You always should be prepared as a good agent you never know just when you are going to need information like that. How pretty really when he took aspects of one floor and interposed it over another different floor. If he squinted his eyes it looked a lot like modern art. He was humming along with the Dem Bones tune in his head….

_This stairwell is now connected to no-thing, _

_This fire escape now goes to au –top-sy_

_This air conditioning vent is now in Le-gal_

_This secure cable uplink for M- TAC_

_Is now completely missing from the pl-ans_

_Now hear the word of the Lord…._

'What are you doing Oh Lord of the Frosting?" Tony beamed over at McGee, his sense of humor having being completely restored now after the Superglue incident.

"Oh nothing" Tim actioned the erase and information file transfer on his NCIS security profile and then shut down his files. Grinning he watched as Ziva strolled into the Bull pen with their lunch. She really was gorgeous and he had often wanted to bury his head in her hair. She had this rich scented shampoo or was it the conditioner? When she sat in the truck by the little window and he had to talk to Gibbs he often smelled the scent as he was only inches away. Once or twice he had become distracted thinking about it and Gibbs had told him off for not concentrating on the case. It was something he wouldn't normally dare but today he positively ached to run his hands through her thick glossy tresses.

Ziva gave him a warm smile as she noticed him staring at her and dropped his burger on his desk. 

"Hungry McGee?" She was surprised when he smiled back at her with hot intense eyes.

"Yes Ziva. Yes I am. Hungry that is" 

For you! The voice in his head howled.

Ziva arched an eyebrow as she considered McGee's response. Normally it was he who was blushing if she even approached innuendo with him and here he was flirting with her? What was up today with him? Although she had to admit he smelled fantastic. She wanted to bury her head in his neck and drown herself in his scent anytime she came too close. It was definitely a new cologne and much better, richer than what he normally wore. And he certainly seemed bolder than she had ever seen him. Kinkier too.

"Is that new cologne you're wearing McGee?'

Tim nodded his mouth now full of burger but he still managed to speak around it. 

'Euphoria'

Ziva sighed, McGee was turning into Tony more every day. Now they were both starting to eat like pigs.

Tim didn't know what was going on but he was starving and this had to be the best burger on the planet. It tasted so amazing! Who would have thought such a combination could result in such an astonishing taste? He wolfed through it and to his disappointment was finished it in an instant, the rich greasy juices running thick down his fingers.

Tim licked his fingers. He tasted really good! There was the greasy burger juice of course and then his own skins salty sweat taste but underneath that there was? Was that coconut? Why did his skin taste of coconut and something else? He sucked all his fingers enthusiastically savoring the taste of his flesh.

Tony and Ziva watched rather alarmed as McGee slurped, licked and sucked his own fingers with obvious delight.

"Do you think he is developing some sort of fetish?" Tony whispered to Ziva as they both continued to stare at McGee.

Tim suddenly looked up and then held out his hand to Ziva.

"Taste me, Ziva"

Tony's mouth fell open. Now there was a sentence her never thought to hear McGee utter. Ziva managed to maintain her surprise but she was too curious to be angry.

"Why should I 'taste' you McGee?"

"Because I taste great! There is something I'm still trying to work out though" McGee paused and stuck two fingers in his mouth and savored them for an instant before drawing then out again "Why do I taste like coconut? And there is something else I can't quite identify."

"Shey butter" Tony and Ziva identically replied thinking of the much maligned ingredients of McGee's infamous 'FemGlow' moisturizer.

"Ahhh that would be it. Thanks" He grinned up at the two of them and the mystery solved removed his fingers from his mouth. He continued to stare at them both happily for an instant when suddenly he looked at Ziva and his eyes grew round. He was still smiling but it was a sort of slobbery almost drooling sort of smile Tony didn't think he had even seen on McGee's face before.

He breathed out slowly and asked in awed amasement "Ziva where did all your clothes go!"

(Oh please review people and tell me how ridiculous you think I am! It does help me write faster and there is some serious shenanigans coming up!)


	6. Chapter 6

Tony stared at McGee who was still staring at Ziva

Tony stared at McGee who was still staring at Ziva. Something was definitely up. First the frosting then the fingers now this? McGee had been acting weird since……

Tony reached over and clamped a hand over McGee's forehead.

"You're hot"

"I know that Tony. And you're touching me. Again. Are you sure you're not the one who is gay?" Tim smirked up at Tony before returning to ogle Ziva who in turn placed her hands across her breasts and frowned at McGee.

Tony snatched his hand away and frowned at McGee. "You're still sick, you just have different symptoms that's all. You were delirious yesterday and now you're seeing things. Or well not seeing things." Tony considered McGee for a moment. "Can you see my clothes McGee?"

Tim turned to Tony and pulled a face. "Of course I can see your clothes Tony. Why on earth would I want to see your hairy butt naked?"

Tony and Ziva considered this statement for a minute.

"So you want to see Ziva naked?" Tony asked McGee trying to see exactly how far this delirium seemed to extend. McGee sighed dramatically.

"Duh. She's gorgeous and she smells like cookies. Well like something you eat anyway. Vanilla and spices"

Ziva looked surprised. She wasn't quite sure how to take being described as smelling like cookies.

"We should get you down to see Ducky, maybe he knows what you've got. He could take some blood tests or something. Hopefully he can give you something as I'm sure when you return to normal you are going to be very embarrassed about all this"

Tim simply smiled "Whatever. You just jealous cause you can't see her naked" Tony laughed at this until a look on Ziva's face silenced him completely.

The reluctant trio headed down to see Ducky. The close confines of the elevator gave Tim ample opportunity to smell Ziva's hair while Tony grew increasingly alarmed that if McGee's behavior kept escalating he was going to end up with a dead Probie on his hands.

Meanwhile in the Directors office a visitor carrying surveillance tape waited patiently outside her office for her meeting with Agent Gibbs to finish. She was not looking forward to the meeting and so was quite content to wait.

Moments later Agent Gibbs strode out and passed her by without a glance and Cynthia with a smile indicated that it would be alright to go in now. With a sigh she straightened and stepped forward.

"How can I help you Dr Jacobs?"

"Well this is all very awkward so I will cut to the point. I believe that you have already had some people down at OPTIPLEX Lab's asking some questions, so you are probably familiar with some of what I'm going to tell you already."

She looked up and saw she had the Directors full attention. She took a deep breath and launched into the explanation she had been working on for the last couple of hours since she had discovered that yes indeed someone had managed to break into their secure laboratory department and steal a biological weapon.

"It seems your Intel was too good in a way Director. Your people came down to the lab not after anything had gone missing but what turns out to be during the actual break out"

"What do you mean?"

"We have been able to identify a person of interest shall we say leaving the building that we wish you to investigate. She leaves the building around the time your agents arrived yesterday to make their enquiries. Of course then no one knew anything had gone wrong to be suspicous. So their enquiries came to naught. The break in was very cleverly done and we have only recently ascertained that any product at all has actually gone missing."

Obviously I am here to try and give whatever assistance I can to your investigation. This project is top secret and few people even within the organization even know about its existence. Obviously the security and the secrecy still weren't good enough."

The Director considered all this for a moment, the frustration at finding out only now that a dangerous weapon had been missing for over 24 hours playing across her face. Well there was nothing that could be done about that now.

"Is that the security footage? We are going to need access to the scene in order to get possible fingerprints and any other forensic evidence although the scene is bound to have been compromised after all this time has passed but we will do what we can. Come with me. I think we need to get this down to Abby and make this Priority One. I will need you to give us a briefing so we know exactly what it is we are dealing with here."

Dr Jacobs nodded and breathed a sigh of relief. That had gone down better than she had expected. She stood and followed the Director out of her office.

The Director turned and spoke to Cynthia on her way out"Get Gibbs on the phone. Tell him we have a case and get him and his team to meet us down in Abby's lab as soon as possible."

The music in Tim's head seemed to be on almost constantly now. He didn't mind, it seemed to drown out some of the voices arguing in his head. Besides it was nice having his own personal McGee FM. He always liked listening to music.

_Sitting here eating my heart out waiting_

_Waiting for some lover to call_

_Dialed about a thousand numbers lately_

_Almost rang the phone off the wall_

_Looking for some Hot Stuff baby this evening_

_I need some Hot Stuff baby tonight_

_Got ta have some Hot Stuff_

_Got ta have some love tonight_

_I need Hot Stuff…._

He stepped out to the strong beat his eyes never leaving the image of Ziva's naked lush rear end inches in front of him and considered if Ziva would be his warm blooded lover. He certainly was hot stuff at the moment, if he did say so himself.

Ducky looked up and smiled at the trio that seemed to wrestle its way through his door.

"Hello, Tony, Ziva, Timothy. And to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"McGee's sick and we need you to take some blood samples and check him out as something is seriously wrong. He is seeing things. Delusions but very specific ones." Tony was attempting to stand between Ziva and McGee but it was like trying to get between someone and their shadow.

"Really well I did hear he wasn't well yesterday and I must admit to being surprised that he was at work today. Hop up on this table dear boy and we will have a look at you"

"No" It was the firm announcement out of the normally helpful obliging Timothy McGee that caught Ducky's attention. Ducky considered the young man who at first glance seemed to in excellent health.

"See? That just isn't McGee." Tony was trying to pull McGee over to the table but he had become the immovable object. He looked down at Tony's attempts with a smile on his face.

"Is that the best you can do Tony? Really and all this going on about how strong and fit you are. Phys Ed major and all" McGee was being sarcastic and rolling his eyes which would have been amusing to Tony if it hadn't been directed at him.

Tony also wondered when McGee had got so strong. Even when he started working out at the gym more regularly and lost a lot of weight Tony had always been able to man handle him if necessary. But it seemed that today McGee wasn't having any of it.

"Tony, let me try something" Ziva had that dangerous look on her face that made Tony squirm sometimes and he was happy to let her have a go at getting McGee up onto the table.

"McGee, Tim….. " She trailed her fingers down his chest and she instantly had his undivided attention. "Please get up on the table so Ducky can take some blood samples and find out what wrong with you?"

"Why should I? Nothings wrong with me I feel great." McGee smiled and Ducky considered that he did indeed look as fit as a fiddle.

"Please? For me?" She pouted and looked up at him stepping even closer into his space.

Tim smiled, enjoying this game for a change, the voices in his head shouting alternate theories on how he should handle it.

"Please Ziva. Your pout has nothing on mine." And he made his soft puppy dog eyes huge and appealing and pouted his full bottom lip out. As he held her gaze he slid his hands gently down her sides and rested them on her hips. Ziva stared rather entranced as she considered exactly how soft McGee's lips looked and wondered if his lips would taste like coconut too if she…….

'Ahummm" Tony cleared his throat as McGee and Ziva stared into each others eyes a little too close for comfort for him.

The spell was broken and McGee laughed and cut a sly look across at Tony before hopping up on the table.

"Fine. Let's just get this over and done with so I can prove to you guys that I'm fine and we can go back to work." He rolled up the sleeve on his shirt and flexed his arm so that Ducky could insert the needle into his arm.

Tony watched Ziva while Ziva watched McGee a rather confused expression on her face.

"And what was that all about?"

"What was what all about, Tony?" Ziva turned and Tony recognized she had her interrogation face on.

"That….staring into his eyes bit"

"It got him on the table didn't it?"

"Hummm so that was your plan the whole time then?

"Of course."

"Yeah right" Tony watched as Ducky finished up and placed a bit of cotton wool and a strip of tape over where he had inserted the needle.

"So Duck what about a lollipop then? For being such a good boy?" He grinned and Ducky had to smile

"Sorry Timothy I don't have many live patients down here so I'm all out of lollipops at the moment."

"Well how about a kiss then. Ziva?" McGee leaned around Ducky and flashed Ziva a smile. "Because I'm such a _Good_ boy"

Ducky and Tony turned surprised at McGee bravado and Ziva actually looked a bit embarrassed. "I don't think that would be a good idea McGee"

"No your right. Not here. Later then" And he looked up and held her gaze and smiled and ran his teeth over his plump bottom lip drawing Ziva's gaze down once again to his lips.

Tony sighed and consoled himself with how embarrassed McGee was going to be later when Tony related this all back to him in extreme detail.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

Tony reached for his phone, nodded for an instant, agreed and then snapped the phone shut.

"Looks like something's come up and we all need to meet Gibbs and the Director in Abby's lab"

Tim smiled as he stepped into Abby's lab and saw her bent over a microscope, acres of pale thigh exposed. He cut Tony a look and his smile grew wider.

"Ok, so you're seeing Abby naked too now are you?"

Tim grinned. "Nope."

Tony waited an instant before he couldn't resist. "Okay so what is she wearing then?" Ziva jabbed him in the ribs but he _really_ had to know what McGee was seeing.

"The sexy underwear _I_ gave her"

"You gave Abby underwear?

"Yup"

Abby at that instant turned and she put her hands on her hips. She gave McGee a stern look. "McGee how did you know what underwear I was wearing today?"

Tony turned grinning. "So he was right? You are actually wearing the underwear that Probie gave you. Wow maybe he has developed x ray vision?" Abby in answer jabbed Tony in the ribs.

"Hey I'm not the one hallucinating here. McGee's the one you should be punching you know. Red light behavior and all that. Owwww" Tony rubbed his bruised chest.

Abby looked thoughtful as Ziva explained their concerns about McGee still being sick while McGee watched the two of them together and entertained some delicious thoughts regarding velvet ribbon and whipped cream. Fifteen meters of ribbon should do it for the two of them. Now where was he going to get that much velvet ribbon? Maybe the evidence locker?

He watched them leaning in towards each other. Ziva had her red stiletto heels on, her thick hair tumbling down around her shoulders and nothing else but her honeyed skin. He made a mental note to remember to keep the bees away from her if she kept that up.

Abby had the black French lace panties and bra set that he had gotten specially embroidered with alternating little skulls and the letter A in red thread along the edges. Abby also had on those pointy Victorian looking lace up black leather boots he liked so much.

The voices effortlessly provided the perfect song for his musings and Tim leaned back against the bench smiling happily as he considered how the virus he had quietly launched earlier into the depths of Abby's hard drives would soon be going about its work.

_Raven hair and ruby lips  
sparks fly from her finger tips  
Echoed voices in the night  
she's a restless spirit on an endless flight  
wooo hooo witchy woman,_

_See how high she flies _

The new voice celebrated as he considered all the work and frustration he would cause her. She always thought she was _so_ smart. And she was Gibbs' favorite. And she knew it. How was one supposed to compete with that?

His familiar voice was becoming increasingly horrified at his actions and set about running around tripping off mental smoke alarms and considering ways to chain himself up.

That was unexpectedly tricky as how do you secure yourself when an increasingly large part of yourself didn't want to? You would know the combination of the lock you used against yourself. You would know where you hid the key to the handcuffs around your wrists and he couldn't seem to count on himself to not simply ask someone to get them for him or to untie him or whatever else he thought of.

Tim took pity on the familiar voice which had been friendly on occasion when it hadn't been anxious and stuffed it into a glass jar. The voice did seem to be getting weaker, or was it just that the other voice seemed so loud? He poked some holes into the top of the wax paper and rubber band lid he secured over the top to make sure it wouldn't die off completely and sat it high up on a metaphorical dusty shelf to watch.

Tim turned his eyes back to the glorious vision of Ziva and Abby in front of him while the lone voice in his head salivated.

_  
woo hoo witchy woman she got  
the moon in her eye  
She held me spellbound in the night  
dancing shadows and firelight  
crazy laughter in another room _

_and she drove herself to madness  
with a silver spoon_

Abby turned to handsome and admittedly delicious smelling McGee with a teasing smile. "So you're seeing Ziva naked then Timmy are you? Is that how you like it?"

Tim smiled wickedly "Oh I know exactly how you like it Abby"

Tony choked and tried desperately to cover it so he could hear what Probie was going to say.

Abby stared at McGee for a split second and then when she saw he was going to continue his expose she quickly covered his mouth with her hand. She waited an instant, looking deeply into his eyes making sure he understood that she did not want him to continue before lifting her hand away from his mouth.

Tim smiled "Exactly. You loved it when I held my …."

Abby quickly covered his mouth again while his eyes danced playfully.

"Now McGee. You will not reveal matters of an _intimate_ nature about me to anyone. Do you understand? Otherwise I will kill you and put you into little jars with tiny little labels and arrange them on my shelf in alphabetical order as an example to other agents. _Probis Deceasedis_ is how your pieces will be known. I prefer being 'mysterious' and I know that if you were yourself then we wouldn't even be having this conversation. Do you understand me McGee? One more word and you will be dead? D. E. A .D. So consider your next move carefully Timothy."

Tim nodded his head solemnly with Abby's hand still over his mouth and then with a thoughtful look on his face he licked the palm of her hand thoroughly.

"Ewwww McGee. Yech." Abby whipped her hand away and wiped it down her lab coat while Tim sat there serenely, a lopsided smile on his face as he considered how Abby tasted.

Suddenly the Director, Gibbs and another woman walked into the lab. Introductions were made all round and as Dr Jacobs starting repeating her explanation she had made to the Director upstairs, Tony sidled around to Gibbs shoulder.

He leaned in quietly, not wanting to interrupt.

"Gibbs. I think we may have a problem with McGee. He's still not well. It appears he is hallucinating and I don't think he should be working on anything until we know what's wrong with him. Ziva and I took him to Ducky and he has taken some blood samples to try and find out"

Gibbs turned a considering eye on Tony, while still taking in what Dr Jacobs was saying. If what Tony said was true perhaps it would explain the strange behavior of this morning? Although McGee wasn't acting like anyone suffering under any virus he had ever heard off. Gibbs looked over to where McGee was standing at the edge of the little group clustered around Abby's computer. He was shooting intense looks at the Director and seemed to be taking little side steps around behind her to get to Tony.

"Tony!" McGee whispered sounding immensely amused about something and glancing sideways at the Director

"What is it McGee?" Gibbs and Tony leaned over to hear what had caught his attention.

"It's certainly bold of her but I don't think it's appropriate."

"You don't think what's appropriate McGee?"

"What the Directors wearing! I mean she looks great in the leather corset and collar. And she is totally working those fishnets and boots. The whip? Well I suppose it does show that she is the Boss but I still don't think she should be wearing her Dominatrix gear to _work. _I mean there have to be regulations about that sort of thing_. _Someone like Palmer would have a fit if he saw her in that. I mean, I don't even want to think about where she puts her phone!"

Gibbs' eyes went wide for an instant before he snorted and tried to smother his smile while Tony looked across open mouthed to the Director where she was standing in an elegant pant suit next to Dr Jacobs. The Director took the opportunity to glare at Tony and try to direct his attention back to what Dr Jacobs was saying.

"See what I mean Boss? That is just _Not_ right" Tony patted McGee on the back soothingly while whispering to Gibbs.

As Gibbs stood silent, pondering whether McGee would need someone to stay with him when he sent him home to observe his obviously increasingly erratic behavior, Dr Jacobs produced the surveillance tape to Abby's obvious delight. They all watched the video showing the large busy entrance of the OPTIPLEX Laboratories.

Dr Jacobs suddenly pointed a finger at a young woman who was making her way through security.

"That's her. We picked her up on the cameras outside the restricted areas. When we checked the cameras inside the restricted areas there is footage actually missing. The date stamping is out and it appears that someone has erased it."

The team watched as the woman continued through the checkpoint before two more familiar figures come into view at the edge of the screen.

"Oh look its Tony and McGee!" Abby clapped her hands excitedly while Gibbs gave her a wry look. The backs of Tony and McGee could be seeing heading towards the entrance as the woman came out.

Then they saw the woman look to her side up at another man coming towards her, suddenly she stumbled and it looked like she was going to fall into the man and crash to the ground, her hand outstretched. Then McGee neatly sidestepped and seeing that she was going to fall grabbed her by both the hand and around the waist and gently righted her. He held her for a brief instant and they could see his head bob as he enquired if she was all right and then he continued towards the entrance, hurrying a bit to catch up to Tony, now a few steps ahead.

"Oh Timmy. Always so gallant"

Dr Jacobs's eyes narrowed as she watched the footage replay again. "I hadn't realized that the man who touched her was one of your agents Director. I had thought he could possibly be involved or used as a ruse, a distraction."

"What do you mean Dr Jacobs?" Gibbs didn't like the tone of her voice. What was she implying about McGee? McGee always opened doors for people, and pulled chairs out and of course if he saw someone who was going to fall he would do what he could to prevent it. That's was just the sort of guy he was.

"Replay the tape. Can you get in any closer to her hands and watch as she 'supposedly' falls."

They all leaned in closer as they watched the footage again.

"There. Do you see it?"

"Ohhhhh" Abby did. "There is something between her fingers, concealed. Is it some sort of needle?"

The footage rolled on and they watched as her hand, outstretched to the man at her side was grabbed instead by McGee as he tried to prevent her falling. An instant later as Tony and McGee went to step through the glass doors they watched as McGee absently rubbed his hand.

Dr Jacobs turned and stared at McGee. "Agent McGee would you mind answering a few questions for me?

Tim shrugged and tried to look nonchalant while he rapidly considered his options surrounded as he was by six people. In the basement of a Federal building. On a secure Navel Base. Before all of his personal security protocols had established themselves. And without so much as a tube of chapstick in his pocket. He really should get some chapstick because he was planning on kissing someone soon. Oh yes he did have his handcuffs though!

"How do you feel?"

"Fine. Great actually." He glanced around at his team mates who were staring at him.

"Any changes in behavior lately? Increase in confidence? Increased risk taking? Feeling like you could take on the world, that sort of thing?"

"A little bit but I just figured it was because I was feeling so terrible yesterday that today I feel good in comparison."

"You weren't well yesterday?"

"Just a 24 virus, you know fever, sweating that sort of thing but I'm fine now. " Tim smiled disarmingly at the only woman in the room who to his eyes still appeared to be wearing normal clothes.

"How about your faculties? Any change in your sense of smell, taste, hearing, and general fitness?"

Tim considered telling her that his skin tasted fantastic but figured that it wouldn't go down too well especially in the present company so he just shook his head.

Dr Jacobs stared at McGee who stared back at her, smiling. She cleared her throat for a moment before turning to Gibbs and the Director. "Would you mind stepping out with me for a minute? There is something I would like to discuss with you in private."

Gibbs looked at Jen in concern and they both looked at McGee before following Dr Jacobs out. Before they left, Gibbs turned. "Abby keep an eye on McGee, make sure he doesn't leave the lab. Tony and Ziva get those blood samples Ducky took rushed through pathology."

Abby's eyes grew wide as she considered the implications of the last few minutes and turned to look at McGee, her face concerned.

"What about me Boss?" McGee helpfully enquired, swinging his feet while he sat on a tall stool next to the table.

"Ahhh you just help Abby out with that camera footage there McGee. See if you can get anymore information off it." Gibbs watched McGee closely for a minute and then turned and left the lab.

Abby watched Gibbs go before returning to look at McGee.

"Are you sure you're alright? I mean not to jump to conclusions here but it looks like you might have been well….. accidentally injected with something?"

Tim shrugged "I think your being a bit dramatic, don't you? I mean seriously does it look like I have been injected with a top secret bio virus?" He gave Abby one of his classic doubtful McGee faces and Abby relaxed. He was just so….. ordinary.

"I mean well if it was Tony….then you would have to worry!"

Abby laughed and punched Tim in the shoulder "Hey don't be mean to Tony. I mean just cause the guy catches the plague, gets blown up, disappears, handcuffed to a murderer…".

Tim looked thoughtful for a minute "Still think about it Abby. In a way wouldn't it be cool if I was? I mean I could be like the new 6 million dollar man. Unique in the world."

Abby laughed and gave Tim a hug and took the opportunity to quickly bury her face in his neck. Wow he really, really smelt fantastic today. He was looking pretty sharp today too "You are unique Timmy. Don't forget that. You even have a tattoo on your butt just like a cabbage patch kid."

Tim continued, a rather intense expression beginning to form in his eyes "Did you hear the questions she was asking Abby? How did I feel, did I notice a change in my sense of smell? Strength? Taste? Maybe I am turning into a completely different person?"

"Whatever McGee" Abby had already turned her attention back to the camera footage to start work on it so she could have something when Gibbs came back.

"Kiss me Abby"

"What?"

"Look work with me here. If I am turning into another person then you could tell from the way I kiss. Every person kisses just a bit different. You should remember how I used to kiss you and you could compare it to how I kiss now? Think of it as a science experiment"

"A science experiment? I think you're just after a kiss McGee." Abby smiled at him, her hands firmly on her hips.

Tim shrugged and smiled, looking adorable "Maybe. But aren't you curious? I mean what if the chemistry is different? What if…?" He left it hanging knowing her curiosity and a touch of a dare would entice her.

Abby considered it for an instant. The fact that McGee was using this situation to try and get a little kiss from her assured her that he was fine. But still she was curious. It had been a while since she had kissed Tim after all.

"Alright then but if Gibbs comes back and catches us you know _you_ will be the one that gets in trouble."

Tim smiled and in an instant he had wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a deep soft long passionate kiss. Oh Wow! He hadn't kissed her like this since…..She closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation of Tim slowly sliding one hand up the back of her neck and into her hair while his other hand ran over her curves and down her arm. He grabbed both delicate wrists in one hand, pinning them behind her so she arched into him and oh he tasted so good…….

CLICK

Abby's eyes flew open at the familiar sensation of cool metal handcuffs being contracted around her wrists.

"McGee?" Abby looked confused. While she was fond of games this _really _wasn't the time and place.

Tim stood back from her and smiled. "Sorry Ab's but hey thanks for the kiss"

Suddenly Abby realized what he was planning and she tried to call out but only managed "Gib" before the tape was secured across her mouth.

Her brain struggled to reconcile adoring Timothy McGee with the man currently wrapping duct tape around her knees and securing her even more firmly to the lab table bolted to the floor as she tried to kick him. She wriggled and thrashed almost noiselessly as between the handcuffs and tape across her mouth and now arms and knees she could barely move an inch.

Tim gave her a quick kiss where her mouth should have been and with a pat on Abby's bottom sauntered whistling out of the lab ready to explore his new territory.


	8. Chapter 8

(Please forgive the science in this chapter as I'm sure it is completely wrong but hope you have fun with it anyway)

Chapter Eight

Tim smiled as he carefully left the lab and headed up into the stairwell. It looked like Dr Jacobs, Gibbs and the Director had headed down to the isolation of autopsy to have their private little chat about him.

_Baby did a bad, bad thing_

_Baby did a bad, bad thing_

_You ever love someone so much _

_You thought your little heart was going to break in two?_

_I didn't think so…_

He found he didn't feel particularly remorseful about tying Abby up. She had tormented him in her own way over the years and he was just getting his resentment out of the way in one big bold move. Besides he didn't want to be some lab rat that they sealed away in a glass box and experimented on.

_Your ever try with all your heart and soul to get your lover back to you?_

_I want to hope so_

_You ever pray with all your heart and soul just to watch her walk away?_

_Baby did a bad, bad thing_

_Baby did a bad, bad thing_

Anyway she had once wanted him to tie her up and now she had her wish. Tim smiled wider at the recollection. It wasn't his fault he was better at it than she had expected. Woman always underestimated him.

At least the first time and then they knew better.

Tim smiled and felt the delight at all the options that were now open to him wash over him. He felt fantastic, like his whole body was swimming in multi coloured sparkles. He could truly do anything he wanted. Now where did he feel like going to first?

Tim smiled as he considered where he had been earlier in the day. Yes he was going to pay the Directors office a little visit to satisfy his curiosity. Maybe she kept her dominatrix gear in her locked cabinet? Maybe that's where he could find that velvet ribbon he had been thinking about earlier? Besides it looked like she would be busy for at least a little while.

Dr Jacobs turned and faced the Director and Gibbs, slightly uncomfortable in the sterile whiteness of autopsy.

Gibbs shrugged." Well you did say you wanted to go somewhere you wouldn't be disturbed. No one comes down here unless they have to."

Dr Jacobs collected herself and pushed on. "I think we have a serious problem. Agent Gibbs have _you_ noticed a change in behavior in Agent McGee since yesterday morning?"

"Definitely" Gibbs considered not just the 'frosting incident' but McGee's increased confidence, the hallucinating, blatantly taking the Directors parking space and a thousand other little things that just didn't add up.

"It will need to be confirmed but I believe that he has inadvertently become the transport 'mule' for the virus that OPTIPLEX has been working on. There are obvious difficulties in transporting a delicate dangerous virus from one location to another. Especially if you have Federal Authorities on the alert looking for it. You need to maintain consistent temperatures and control the environment around it. It can be maintained in stasis for only short periods of time before it starts to degrade. Subjecting it to a pressurised environment, on a plane for example can result in destroying the delicate structure completely. Many of these factors become irrelevant if the virus already has a host."

Dr Jacobs looked at Gibbs and the Director to see if they understood what she had been saying. Jenny, with a glance at Gibbs nodded for her to continue.

"I believe that the other man we saw on the screen had been chemically prepared to be injected with the virus. He could then transport the virus to the buyer and the antigens removed from his blood to reform it anywhere in the world. Unfortunately it appears your agent was in the wrong place at the wrong time and was injected accidentally when he stepped in to help. I believe she fell on purpose to try and cover the exchange. Essentially if we weren't looking for it, it would appear as a brief meeting of two strangers.

In a way it is a tremendous stroke of luck as otherwise it would be almost impossible to track down and may have already have left the country before we realized that it had been taken. Luckily he is a Federal Agent and we have him under our control."

"What do you mean under our control? Exactly what is this thing and how dangerous is it?" Director Sheppard stepped in concerned at the thought of one of her agents being carted off as part of a bio experiment that went wrong.

"Well that's part of the problem. We haven't moved onto full human trials yet and have only limited understanding of the scope of what it can do to a person. Essentially it eliminates fears."

"Fears?"

"Yes Agent Gibbs. Imagine leading a battalion of solders who still have their individual personalities but have had their ability to solve complex mental problems enhanced along with their physical strength and responsiveness while at the same time reducing or eliminating their fear of death or of pain. They would have no inhibitions, no concerns about following the orders they are given."

"Dangerous indeed." Director Sheppard considered the implications of what was being said and realized suddenly just how dangerous the territory that they were walking into was.

"What do you call this thing anyway? I mean is it dangerous Bio Agent 99 or something?"

At this Dr Jacobs looked a little embarrassed. "Well actually it has its formulaic name which is unpronoucable in under a minute so those of us in the lab have taken to calling it… err ….the fig jam virus"

"I'm sorry what? Jam?"

"That's F.I.G. J.A.M. you know as in" Dr Jacobs coughed but continued on "Fuck I'm Good, Just Ask Me."

Gibbs smirked while Dr Jacobs hastened to explain.

"One of our lab techs came up with it and it just stuck. Essentially the subject believes they are invincible maybe even capable of god like powers. We don't really know yet but well FIG JAM became kind of its code name and now we're stuck with it.

Look this is all theory anyway. But we have had some success in limited trials and obviously someone thought it was enough to risk stealing it so early in the development process.

Essentially what people don't realize, even those in the armed forces themselves is that only 10 percent of active forces actually are willing to kill people, face to face. The others will defend themselves or their friends or are in the right place at the right time to be effective to the ultimate goal. Of that 10 percent, only 2 percent are what we would classify as 'heroes' those that have gone above and beyond at great personal risk to themselves. And half of those demonstrate qualities that back in society would classify them as psychopaths. Those people have _too little_ concern for killing, which while it has its positives in the field of battle has distinct disadvantages everywhere else.

Essentially with the FIG JAM virus we were trying to increase the percentages."

Jenny considered for an instant "So you were trying to chemically produce military heroes?"

Dr Jacobs shrugged before being interrupted by Gibbs, who had been wrapping his head around all the information of the last few minutes. "Hold on a minute. So is this a _virus_ that's going to infect others through contact or is it more like a _weapon_ to be used on people?"

"Well it is both. Your agent has been infected with the virus but it is now Agent McGee who is the weapon. A very _dangerous_ weapon"

The three of them conversed for several more minutes before it was decided that while he seemed relatively harmless at the moment it would be best to get McGee into isolation. They also had to wait on confirmation that he had in fact been exposed and not simply suffering from the rather extreme side effects of a simple flu or other disease.

The three of them turned and headed back to Abby's Lab, ready to secure McGee, with or without his co operation.

Dr Jacobs understandably was rather keen to get McGee into observation. The Director could already feel her angling to get McGee removed from NCIS headquarters and taken to OPTIPLEX Labs so her entire team could study their first full blown human trial. She was itching to start testing McGee's reflexes, emotional responses to stimuli, strength, response speed and so on.

It rankelled Gibbs to consider McGee as a hamster in a cage running on a wheel for science but he held his tongue. Dr Jacobs was primarily a research scientist and didn't know McGee as a person. To her he was simply a marvelous mistake that could excellerate her work potentially by years, even decades.

Besides if this preposterous situation was true, then they were going to need Dr Jacobs on their side to ensure McGee……. ……..What? They didn't know what could happen to McGee if it were true. They didn't know how his body would react or even if he could be returned to his normal conservative state. There was a basic antiviral agent that had been created but it was even more untested than the virus itself.

Gibbs considered the most mild mannered of his team and remembered the child like joy he had shown yesterday when he had lifted his feet off the ground leaving Tony and himself to carry him. The bright free smile on his face as he swept through the revolving doors – again. He didn't seem to be in any pain but it was difficult to consider Timothy McGee in any state as a serious threat to National Security.

It was then that Gibbs walked into a sight he had never thought to see.

Tony and Ziva were quickly wrenching off yards of duct tape wrapped tightly around different spots on Abby, securing her to the leg of her lab table while she was screaming blue murder and wriggling impatiently.

"**Imgoingtokillhimandthenimgoingtorevivehimandkillhimagainicannotbelivehehandcuffedmeinmyownlabtheonlyonethatdoeshtehandcuffingaroundhereisme…**

"Abby. Abby! Calm down! And please stop wriggling you are making this harder and more painful than it needs to be."

"Abby if you don't stop that yelling I'm going to put this tape back over your mouth!"

At this threat from Ziva, Abby slowly stopped her screaming only to meet eyes with Gibbs.

"Gibbs! Gibbs! You're supposed to know when I'm in trouble Gibbs! I tried to call but McGee.."

"McGee! He did this to you?" Gibbs felt shocked that McGee of all people could have done this. The thoughts of the last few minutes suddenly condensed and Gibbs realized that perhaps McGee wasn't as unaware of the danger of the situation as he had pretended to be.

"How on earth did he get you handcuffed and taped up Abby?" They had all seen Abby defend herself and knew that she would stand her ground if confronted or assaulted.

'He tricked me Gibbs! He knows my weakness.'

'Your weakness?'

'Science Gibbs! He used science to get me to kiss him!'

'Science? Is that how a guy gets you to kiss them?' Tony looked thoughtful and wondered if he could find and dust off one of his old high school chemistry books.

'Shut up DiNozzo! This is serious.'

'Shutting up Boss' Ziva gave Tony a considering look and elbowed him in the ribs for good measure.

'He kissed me and then he handcuffed me. And not in a good way!' Tony winced a bit at this image 'And then he duct taped me! I'm going to kill him Gibbs. Nobody duct tapes me without my permission and gets away with it!'

"I'm going to…. to…. to …..tie him up and spank him and see how he likes it!"

Tony considered the look in McGee's eye in the elevator when he was smelling Ziva's hair. "Um Abb's you might want to reconsider that as a suitable punishment. I think he might enjoy that a bit too much in his current state."

The Director, her mind already considering the implications was reaching for her phone. "Right. Im declaring a state of emergency. It would appear that McGee is under the influence of the FIG JAM virus. We need to ensure he does not leave the Base, he is captured ASAP and held in isolation until we can get this sorted out."

"The FIG JAM virus? Doesn't that mean….?"

"Shut UP DiNozzo. This isn't the time or the place"

"I'm not getting a signal? Isn't that unusual, even for down here?" The Director was staring at her phone as if she could make it work with the force of her mind alone. She needed to contact the guards at the gates, activate security protocols, shut down MTAC operations until further notice, call Cynthia….

Abby whipped out her phone. "No signal for me either. That's strange as we use the phones down here all the time. I mean unless we were being…… jammed"

Abby looked up at Gibbs wide eyed. "Uh oh"

With that all the computers in the room suddenly made a loud BLINK noise and blue screened.

"McGee!"

Tim sat back in the Directors chair, the sun pouring in through the windows enjoying the view of the room from this angle. He could handle this. He spun around in her chair and adjusted the height and lean to suit his larger frame. He now had her office, her parking space, her stash of visiting diplomats cigars, her gun and most usefully her stapler.

He had changed the Directors aurthorisation codes and had decided to send out a jamming signal on the phones for good measure. He had taken the opportunity to send a reassuring email out to all staff on the Directors behalf that due to work being done on the local cell tower, phone transimmions may be interrupted temporarily.

_Bad to the bone_

_Ba Ba Ba Ba Baaad to the bone_

_I broke a thousand hearts before I met you_

_I will break a thousand more before I am through_

_I want to be yours pretty baby_

_Yours and yours alone_

He would have to move soon but right now he was enjoying a glass of fine cognac from the Directors personal supply. Her cupboards had turned out to be remarkably disappointing but still. He put his feet up on her desk and leaned back into the chair as he had seen Tony do a thousand times. Damn he was good.

The angry voice in Tim's head now unfettered by the familiar sensible voice seemed to be screaming at him constantly. Burn, destroy, terror, pain seemed to be all it was bent towards. He sighed loudly. It all seemed such a hassle and he was fairly sure even in his super positive state that it would eventually end in his violent death. And that would be a shame as he just seemed to be getting the hang of living!

_I'm here to tell you honey_

_I'm bad to the bone_

_I make a rich woman beg, and a good woman steal_

_I make an old woman blush and I make a young girl sqeal_

_I'm here to tell you honey_

_I'm bad to the bone_

Tim suddenly made up his mind and after carefully sneaking up he wreastled the voice into his battered old biscuit tin where he had once kept his favourite eraser collection. He sighed as he tipped Sarah's My Little Pony accessories out of it. She was always getting into his stuff! Sisters! He stuck a rock on top of the colorful lid just in case as this voice seemed particularly resentful of captivity.

Free of the shouting and the arguing that had been going on for what felt like days he felt peaceful and relaxed. Now what was it that _he_ really wanted to do? What in his heart of hearts did he really want to do? He had good looks, money, time, genius level intelligence, access to both secure network connections and weapons. He allowed himself to wallow in fancy and consider a thousand ridiculous options until he came back to one.

Tony would be so proud.

Tim smiled. He was going to show NCIS a party the likes of which no Federal Agency had ever seen. It would put the secret annual FBI kegger to shame.

He had always wanted to have a party. A BIG party. A big out there everyone talked about it for years afterwards kind of party. Not a few friends over, not a dinner party, not a video night. He had never had enough friends to have a really big party but now he had the resources and a few hundred unsuspecting employees just wanting to burst out of their mundane shells like he had. He would be the one to show them the way!

_I don't know about you -Ahaaa_

_But if your feeling the groove - Ahaaaa_

_You know what you've gotta do!_

_So give it to me funky!_

_Let's Dance!_

Gibbs looked up as a song burst through the agency emergency loud speakers.

'What the hell is that!'

_Get on the floor no need to hold back_

_Sexy mini skirts, stilettos all shaken over there_

_What you're doing to me girl I can't hold back_

_Lets Dance!_

(Ok people come ON you have to give me a review after these last two chapters? Abby tied up? McGee taking over Directors office? Let me know if you are enjoying this story. Any ideas let me know and if I can I will consider working them into the story. Reviews do help me keep up my enthusiasm. Is any of it confusing? Just review and say hi if you like and let me know that your reading.-Precious)


	9. Chapter 9

Tim sighed and smacked his lips as he finished off the last of the cognac

Tim sighed and smacked his lips as he finished off the last of the cognac. Yummy. He took a deep draw on the cigar and blew a puff of it across the Directors office. He grinned as he thought about how that would tick her off. He wished he could just kick back here in the Directors office for a while but now that he had a plan, he had a limited window of opportunity to get what he needed done. First treating the water supply (they would never think of that!) and then setting up the Headquarters for Operation Party.

He had of course ended up 'volunteering' to assist in the Internal Security Office transfer from the North wing to the West wing of NCIS headquarters six months ago. He had at the time slightly resented being pulled from his back log of paperwork to be used essentially as manual labor for the leagues of security camera cables and computer equipment that needed to be moved.

Apparently his security clearance wasn't high enough to get him access to anything useful but it was good enough to reveal the complex operations of Internal Security. There wasn't a camera black spot or a triple access clearance system in the building that he now didn't know about.

The old room now stripped of equipment was still essentially wired for its previous capabilities though. There were few people who knew where it was when it was active and now after six months of being set aside for future expansion plans he was sure it would take a while for anyone to figure out where he was.

Especially as he had already wiped its existence from the blueprints of the building. Tim smiled as he considered just what he could do with his own personal MTAC at his disposal. He would like a really nice chair for it though? Perhaps leather? He would love to have OPH (Operation Party Headquarters) in big letters on the door but it did defeat the whole being in hiding business. Still if he had learnt anything from Tony, it was that things needed to be done with a fair bit of style if you wanted people to sit up and pay attention.

He cocked his head, and listened. Ok so he had maybe a couple of minutes maximum before the alerts on him went out. Although he had already taken care of any electronic access by creating a new persona with unlimited security access that just happened to have his fingerprints and retina scans, there would be people who would physically recognize him and try to arrest him if he was spotted around the building.

The music currently playing through the Emergency Broadcast System would confuse people for a while and as an added bonus prevent the system being used against him. It also wouldn't hurt to start getting everyone in the party mood. He was controlling it from a program he had linked to his ipod.

_Yeah there was dancing  
and singing and moving to the grooving  
and just when it hit me  
Somebody turned around and shouted_  
_Play that funky music White Boy!  
Play that funky music right  
Play that funky music White Boy!  
Lay down and boogie and play that funky music till you Die!_

You couldn't beat the classics!

He bobbed his head in time to the music and then with a smile leapt out of the chair invigorated. There was no time to waste! He grabbed his back pack of goodies, along with the Directors state of the art lap top and swinging it over his shoulder strode out the door and headed for the stairwell. He really was just too clever.

He congratulated himself on sending an SMS apparently from the Director to Cynthia asking her to arrange delivery this afternoon of two hundred paper hats, balloons and streamers, a mechanical bull, a mud wrestling ring, 100 bags of ice and a dozen large ice chests for a surprise party on her way back from lunch. The cover story he had created was it was a surprise welcome home party on behalf of the SECNAV for the crew of the Abraham Lincoln. He smirked and pulled up the non altered Base blueprints on his PDA as he pounded down the quiet stairwell.

Now where were those maintenance pipe junctions?

He realized as he went that he would have to take out all the snack and vending machines as well. There were dozens scattered throughout the building. The food would be handy but the drinks would have to be destroyed? Otherwise no one would end up drinking any of the water. He sighed. This was actually going to be a bit of work. Still, he smiled it was going to be worth it!

"I'm going to kill him!" Abby was still furious at being one upped by McGee of all people and intent of repaying the favor. Visions of Timothy McGee handcuffed and helpless were currently delighting her. _Still that was a hell of a kiss. Maybe she could take out her revenge some other way?_ Abby squashed that thought as she knew Gibbs could read her like a book.

Gibbs gritted his teeth. "Why would he want to be playing music?" he turned and looked at the rest of his team "Anyone?"

Even Dr Jacobs shrugged. "We have no idea what could be running through his head. For all we know he just likes listening to music and thought nothing of hooking it up so he could hear it wherever he is in the building?"

Gibbs sighed "Right first things first. We need to get him arrested and secured, for his own good apparently as soon as possible. We don't know what else he has done so take nothing for granted."

Director Sheppard interrupted "Now I know this is McGee but for your own sakes I need you to consider him as extremely dangerous" She looked at Ziva and Tony and held their gaze.

Tony shrugged "Yeah ok Probie is under the influence of this drug and he's acting a bit out there and we need to get hold of him so we can cure him right?"

Director Sheppard shook her head "No Tony, what we have is a highly intelligent, trained and armed _rouge_ federal agent whose understanding of computers has allowed him to hack into the Pentagon! He has access to cash, a Porsche, at least one gun and has been under the influence of this drug since yesterday so we have no idea what havoc he has already created. He has essentially shut down Abby's lab, jammed the phones, the elevators and assaulted Abby. He is a single, fit, young man with no inhibitions, possibly increased strength and agility who might try anything. So no this isn't your Probie we are talking about here and for your own safety I need for all of you to remember that"

Jenny looked firmly around at all of them before allowing Gibbs to continue.

Gibbs nodded recognizing the truth in what she had said. "Okay Abby I need you to go down to Ducky and Palmer and tell them what's happened. Get to work on testing those blood samples as well as you can. And if you see McGee don't do anything stupid."

"But Gibbs!"

"No Abby I won't have you running around the building trying to find him unarmed. He's possibly dangerous now and I won't risk it!" He held her eyes while she folded her lips stubbornly, before she sighed and pouted.

"Okay Gibbs"

"Right, now the rest of us up the stairs. Director I'm sure you have work to do, but make sure you call us if you see him." Jenny nodded and dragged Dr Jacobs at a run up the stairs heading for her office.

"Tony, Ziva split up take a different floor each and spread the word. "Don't cause a panic though. Just say we really need to find him for something. I don't want this turning into some sort of dangerous confrontation. We don't know what's going on in his head and I will not have one of my agents doing down in a misdirected blaze of glory. Now go"

_Wake up in the morning and I raise my weary head  
I've got an old coat for a pillow  
And the earth was last nights bed  
I don't know where I going  
Only god knows where I've been  
I'm a devil on the run  
A six gun lover, a candle in the wind_

They tell me that I'm wanted  
Yeah I'm a waiting man  
Mister catch me if you can  
I'm going down in blaze of glory  
Take me now but know the truth  
I'm going out in a blaze of glory

The four of them ran into the stairwell and started heading for different floors. Tony tried to shake off the feeling that something Gibbs said was important. If only the music wasn't so damn loud, it was making it hard to think. I mean since when was Probie into Bon Jovi?

Cynthia was a woman accustomed to being asked to do the extraordinary but she did think the SMS was a little odd. Strange that the Director didn't think to tell her of such a large request earlier? Still she had been interrupted by that Dr Jacobs who apparently had something urgent to discuss. And the Abraham Lincoln was reporting to port several days earlier than expected so perhaps that had thrown out the plans?

Cynthia tried to call the Director to confirm the instructions but she couldn't seem to get through to her on her phone. Cynthia sighed and headed her car towards the largest party hire place she could think of. This would probably take her a while and she still had all those audit reports to check though.

Michelle walked through the Legal Department, meeting the curious eyes of dozens of people sitting at their desks. Just what the hell was happening to the Emergency Broadcast System that it was starting to continuously play music? Not that she really minded, it wasn't particularly threatening just a little odd. The song choices were a little jarring flipping from one completely different style to another. It seemed like a practical joke that had gone wrong. Still it certainly had people wondering. Michelle considered using the distraction to slip off and find Jimmy for some distraction of her own.

_There's something happening here  
What it is ain't exactly clear  
There is a man with a gun over there  
Telling me I've got to beware  
Stop children  
What's that sound?  
Everybody look what's going down!_


	10. Chapter 10

Director Sheppard stepped into her office and within an instant she froze. Damn it he had been in here! She took a deep sniff of the cigar haze still lingering in her office and stared at the empty liquor bottle on her desk.

She turned to Dr Jacobs and instructed her to stay in the outer office until she could ascertain what he might have touched. How dare he! What cheek to come to her office and …

She whirled and ran to her hidden secret compartment and her heart stopped when she found it empty. Damn it DAMN IT!! He could RUIN her and if he found out about the secret Atlantis Stargate, there would be more than human lives at stake here!

Ok calm down Jen. There are currently more important issues to attend to. McGee must be apprehended IMMEDIATELY. She took a deep breath and told herself firmly. She was the Director of NCIS and people were looking to her to get this situation under control. Then with a pull on her jacket to shift it back into place she strode to her desk and sat down ready to start making calls and pulling in favors.

Instead she found herself perched too high up on her own chair with her feet not touching the ground. She felt like she was a child again in her father's chair. Of course he had altered her chair. She found that she didn't like this new McGee very much at all. The old one had his moments of charm and he certainly was an excellent agent but this new upgraded version seemed to delight in pissing her off. Maybe he was just getting her back for tricking him into resigning after that incident with his sister. She ground her teeth in frustration and fumbled with the control levers under the chair.

She suddenly shot to the ground and tipped forward onto her desk with an oomph clutching at some paper left on the desk. With an exasperated sigh she stood, grabbed her chair, corrected the levels and then with a deep calming breath sat back down at her desk again. _Ok remember this is not his fault, Jen. He is a victim here too. It was not his fault he was drugged. Your actions here today may save a talented young agent not only his life but his career. All this is not his fault. _She repeated it to herself like a mantra as she reached for the phone. Suddenly her eyes fell on the doodled to do list, her eyes searching the first item.

Ziva.

Marvelous. Not only did she have a rogue genius possibly armed agent on her hands she had a horny one as well. Just great! This day was just getting better and better.

With a sigh she picked up the phone and placed the first order, restricting anyone from leaving the Base and anyone coming in must be cleared personally by her. Armed patrols to roam across the exterior of the building, Department heads had been alerted. Now to shut down his security clearance and alert the other agencies.

And where the hell was Cynthia?

Gibbs, Tony and Ziva met back at the bullpen.

"Any luck?" Gibbs looked at Tony and Ziva who were flushed from their headlong dash down every corridor and stairwell in the large building.

"Nope. It's like he's disappeared. We have been through this entire building and no one has seen him. If it wasn't for the damn music changing all the time I would think that he headed off somewhere else."

Gibbs was barely listening to Tony as his eyes slid to the side of him and stared at the wall.

"What the hell is that?"

'What?" Tony and Ziva turned to see what Gibbs was looking at. It took an instant for Tony to recognize what was wrong and when he did he laughed.

"Well Probie is still definitely in the building"

The scrolling red light bulletin that apprised them of any immediate threats that ran across the wall of the office was currently displaying a new message. Where it had previously stated the current alert level in Iraq it now had scrolling across…..

_New NCIS Rules: No throwing paper at colleagues heads, no name calling, no stealing of stationary from others desks, all computer glitches repaired must be paid for with a kiss from a female colleague and 20 bucks from a male, superglue is banned from the entire agency, Officer David must never be to allowed to drive…………….._

The list was long and complicated but it was obvious who wrote it. Gibbs just shook his head.

"Well if that's the sort of stuff that's taking up his time instead of wiping out the US Stock market then great."

_WIPEOUT!_

_Wah Wah Wipeout!_

The three of them turned and stared at the speakers as the song changed to the Beach Boys Wipeout and the familiar drumming sound filled the room.

Gibbs groaned and cursed, his fist clenched in frustration.

"He has been listening to us the entire time! No wonder he's always two steps ahead. I don't know how he is doing it but…."

Gibbs stood in the center of the room and shouted up to the speakers hidden in the ceiling

"You up there somewhere McGee? You get your butt down here now! We need to get you treated for the drug you have running through your system. It could be dangerous to you. We don't want anyone harmed. Just come to us and we will make sure your safe"

Tony couldn't keep the grin off his face at the sight of Gibbs shouting to thin air in the middle of the bullpen.

"Hey McGee! Don't you go silent on me now. I know you can hear me! McGee! Now you come to us quietly or we will be forced to chase you around this building and capture you ourselves. So for your own safety and ours please come out from wherever you are? McGee? What do you say?"

The song suddenly changed abruptly and for a second there was silence. The trio waited with baited breath to see if McGee would speak and reveal himself to them.

_Every breath you take  
Every move you make  
Every bond you break  
Every step you take  
Ill be watching you_

_Every single day  
Every word you say  
Every game you play  
Every night you stay  
Ill be watching you_

_Oh, cant you see  
You belong to me  
How my poor heart aches  
With every step you take_

Gibbs kicked the nearest waste paper basket in frustration. Tony winced and then found himself having his own one side conversation with his team mate.

"Ok very funny McGee. We get it. The Police, Every Step You Take. Well funny guy you know we're going to have to keep coming after you and when we do there is a very ticked off Forensic Scientist who will be giving you some serious grief for the stunt you pulled earlier."

_You're so vain  
You probably think this song is about you  
You're so vain  
I'll bet you think this song is about you  
Don't you? Don't you?_

Tony's mouth dropped open while Ziva laughed. Even Gibbs couldn't help the wry smile on his face as he studied the speakers as if McGee would suddenly appear from out of them.

"Oh hardi har har McGee. Very funny is that the best you can do?"

_I need a__ lover that won't drive me crazy  
Some girl to thrill me and then go away  
I need a lover that wont drive me crazy  
Some girl that knows the meaning of ah-  
Hey hit the highway!_

"Oh bloody marvelous! My life has been reduced to a John Cougar Mellencamp song! Seriously McGee, you and I are going to have some words when we catch you. And we will! "

Ziva couldn't smother her laugh. She thought the song was perfectly appropriate.

"Oh McGee do me. Do me. What's a song for me?"

Gibbs glared at her but it was already too late.

_Her methods are inscrutable!  
The proof is irrefutable  
She's so completely kissable.  
Our lives are indivisible__irresistible, simply irresistible_

_She's a craze you'd endorse;  
She's a powerful force  
You're obliged to conform,  
When there's no other course_

_She's used to look good to me, but now I find her--  
Simply Irresistible_

Ziva preened happily as she considered being simply irresistible while Tony rolled his eyes. Seriously. Gibbs turned and called out again.

"We warned you McGee. Now we don't want to harm you and we don't want you to hurt us OK? But we have to bring you in."

Gibbs turned to Tony and Ziva and quietly whispered into their ears.

"Ok continue your sweep of the building. I'm going to go speak to the Director. Get me there if you so much as hear him sneeze in an air vent. Get hold of the plans of this place and back track to anywhere that shows a concentration of secure ports, cabling that sort of thing. What he is doing is pretty advanced stuff and simply wouldn't be possible out of a supply closet."

With a nod Tony and Ziva headed out, Ziva still humming 'Your So Vain" under her breath

Gibbs turned and ran lightly up the steps and headed to the Directors office. He walked in, with a hand up to halt Cynthia's plea as he stepped through the door unannounced but realized that Cynthia wasn't there.

He sat down in front of Jens desk, trying to hide the smirk on his face. Jen was obviously familiar with McGee's music choices. Oh Boy was McGee going to get it! He had to give it to him, the man had balls.

_She's a very kinky girl  
The kind you don't take home to mother  
She will never let your spirits down  
Once you get her off the street, ow girl _

_That girl is pretty wild now  
The girl's a super freak  
The kind of girl you read about  
In new-wave magazine  
That girl is pretty kinky  
The girl's a super freak  
_

"And just what do you think is so funny!" Jenny's patience was wearing thin and no one had yet been able to isolate the damn music running through her office. Loudly. And the same song over and over? It was really pissing her OFF!

Gibbs smiled "Super freak? You know McGee has picked songs he thinks describes all of us?"

"Yeah well I think it's completely inappropriate and I have no idea where he gets those ideas from. Kinky indeed!" Jen huffed while Gibbs considered that perhaps McGee was a better observer than he thought. From his experience Jen could be a super freak when she wanted to be. Gibbs smiled again as he considered that McGee had seen her wearing leather dominatrix gear. Perhaps for now he might keep that to himself.

_That girl's all right with me, yeah  
She's a super freak, super freak  
She's super-freaky, yow  
Super freak, super freak  
She's a very special girl  
The kind of girl you want to know  
From her head down to her toenails  
Down to her feet, yeah  
_

"Well I have done what I can to isolate the Base, MTAC, our firewalls, alert everyone I can think of and Dr Jacobs is now working remotely from here with her team on the antidote, such as it is. So far I don't understand what it is he is up to? No ones been hurt or demands made or to our knowledge anything important been taken. He can't have been smuggled off base as not so much as a letter has gone out since we found out. Do you have any idea what he is up to other than submitting the building to some really bad DJ'ing?"

Gibbs shook his head. "I'm in the dark as much as you. I have tried to think like he would….." Jen raised her eyebrows at that "But I have no idea how he thinks the way he does normally let alone with some sort of drug/super virus in his system"

"Not to mention an entire bottle of good cognac"

Gibbs looked up at her surprised "An entire bottle?"

"Oh yes didn't I mention that he had been in my office, messed with my chair, drunk my liquor, rummaged through my private files, taken my lap top, smoked cigars…Oh and he left this"

Jen flung the To Do list at Gibbs. Gibbs caught it and read it, his eyebrows soaring. He considered that perhaps the little crush McGee had always had on Ziva might now be soaring out of control, especially as he seemed to consider her simply irresistible. And was that a tank on the list?

Suddenly the phone rang and Jen picked it up.

"No stay there. I will send him down. Good work DiNozzo. Take him to Interrogation. That should be secure enough for him." Jen looked across at Gibbs beaming.

"That was Tony. They cornered him in front of an empty vending machine on the other side of the building. How about you go and try and get some answers from him?"

"With pleasure Director"

Gibbs headed out of her office and down the stairs. He glanced up at the alert sign which had changed again to now read….

_Please make sure you have safe sex with your work colleagues. Condoms are available from these Departments: Legal, Autopsy….._

Gibbs sighed again. Just what the hell was McGee up to?

(Come on people please review and let me know what you think. Do you like? Silly Funnny What? And its does inspire me to go faster!)


	11. Chapter 11

Tim sighed as he was cornered in front of the last vending machine. Oh well maybe he could get some information from them. Had they noticed anyone acting peculiar yet? He reached over slowly and set the timer on his watch. Let's see how long this was going to take them.

He smiled up innocently at Tony and Ziva who seemed very surprised to have actually stumbled on him in such an innocuous place.

Tony narrowed his eyes "Hello Probie" as he spread his arms out in case he decided to make a dash down the hallway while Ziva side stepped across to cover the other side, pulling her gun out through still aiming low to the floor.

What did they think he was going to do? Pull out a gun in the middle of a Federal Building and start shooting? Please, he wasn't an idiot. Besides he didn't need a gun to get away from them. He smiled and stood up his arms full of salty snacks and chocolates he had stripped from the machine.

"Hi guys. Did you want a chocolate bar? Strange thing about this virus I can't seem to stop eating. Everything tastes so great. Really rich and just amazing" He licked his lips as Tony and Ziva quickly glanced across at each other warily.

Tim watched Ziva watching him and wondered again what she would taste like. Honey definitely but also maybe cinnamon? Vanilla? No too plain. Spicy nutmeg? They would all go marvelously with whipped cream. He made a mental note to add that to his list along with the velvet ribbon. Her hair was very thick and quite long. Maybe that's how she caught all the bees and made them her honey slaves? He just wanted to lick up her neck that would be enough for him to know what she….

"McGee!" Tim turned from ogling Ziva and realized that Tony had been talking to him the entire time.

"Snack?" Tim offered Tony a Mars bar helpfully. Maybe he was cranky because his bloody sugar was too low again. He really didn't look after himself very well. No wonder he was always getting blown up or shot at.

"No McGee. I don't want a chocolate bar. Thank you all the same. I do want you to slowly put the candy down on the floor and hold out your wrists. Then we are going to put handcuffs on you and take you to Gibbs. And no funny business." Tony spoke calmly and softly, urging with every fiber of his being that McGee would come peacefully, his gun held loosely but firmly in his hands, aimed towards the floor.

Tim looked innocently at them quirking his head on the side, visualizing snowy white angel wings sprouting from his back and his forehead bathed in the soft glow of his halo. A perfect angel.

"I haven't done anything!" Tim implored the two of them earnestly. "Well I did tie Abby up but that was because I overheard that they were going to take me away and experiment on me. And Abb's ok, isn't she? I was very careful. I have just been hiding out for a while until I could think of what to do! Please Tony I don't want to be locked up in a lab somewhere being poked and prodded and stared at for the rest of my life!"

Tim had been looking sadly at the floor and then he brought his head up and pleaded with his huge gentle eyes full force at Tony. Tony who hated being kept inside for too long, Tony his friend who knew he would never do any harm. Tony who told him he loved him when he had saved his life and pulled him back over the concrete barrier.

"Please Tony? Don't let them take me away?" Tim pleaded as pathetically as he knew he was capable of.

"McGee, Buddy I just…….." Tony felt terrible. McGee hadn't really done anything except tick a few people off so far and they might well cart him off in a sealed van never to be seen again. Wouldn't he do the same thing in his place?

Tim felt Tony weakening so he pulled out the big guns. He let his big bottom lip fall forward and tremble and he blinked as if he was about to burst into tears, all the while continuing to plead with his eyes and think of tiny fluffy helpless cute puppies……… about to be run over by a giant NCIS truck. Tony looked horrified and started to holster his gun.

"Tony!" Ziva snapped and raised her gun higher, pointing it at McGee. "until we know how he is affected by this thing we need to consider him dangerous. Now for his own safety we need to get him secured."

Damn. It appeared that Ziva was the one driving the NCIS truck. Tim sighed ok well he wasn't out of tricks yet. Besides the rest of his plan needed time to come to fruition anyway so he might as well hang out with the guys for a while.

Tony with an apologetic look at McGee watched as Ziva handcuffed McGee before making a call on his phone. Tim smiled, Ziva had made the very considerate move of cuffing his hands to the front rather than behind him. Now that was going to be handy. She wasn't as heartless as she pretended to be. Tony nodded while on the phone, snapped it shut and then turned to Ziva "We need to take him to Interrogation, Boss will meet us there."

"Ah Tony can you grab a couple of the snacks and bring them with you? We could all be in there a while. Pays to be prepared you know"

Tony looked up suspiciously at McGee's grinning face. A split second ago Tony had been sure McGee was going to have big fat wet Probie tears rolling down his face and he was going to be embarrassingly sobbing into his shoulder.

"You don't seem very upset all of a sudden." Tony glared at McGee suspiciously and wondered if he, the Great Antonio had been about to be tricked.

Tim smiled "I'm with you guys. You'll keep me safe from any Dr Evils'." He smoothed his hair down and straightened his impeccable jacket before leering at Ziva.

"Besides Ziva can put me in handcuffs any time she likes!" Ziva huffed at him while trying to bite back a smile and grabbing his arm started dragging him down the hallway while Tim threw back his head and laughed.

Tony began to wonder who was going to need to be kept safe from whom. Although bonus points to McGee for the gratuitous movie reference

Gibbs strode into Interrogation Room One and suddenly ground to a halt.

"What the hell is he doing DiNozzo?"

"Uhhh smoking Boss?"

"I can see that Tony. Where the hell did he get a cigar and lighter from?"

Gibbs glared at his currently most troublesome agent. At least they did seem to take turns when they were up to something. If they all decided to reveal there MOAS's all at once Gibbs suspected the entire agency wouldn't be able to cope.

McGee was currently on the table in Interrogation. That is he was sprawled out across the top of the table not sitting neat, tidy and polite beside it. He was laying on his back, one knee bent and the other ankle resting on top of it. He was also smoking a cigar, slowly filling the room with a soft haze.

As Gibbs watched he sucked deeply from the cigar, once twice and then with a soft 'poof' of his lips blew a perfect smoke circle up into the air above him. He then reached leisurely up and drew the cigar through the top of it turning the circle into….a love heart?

Gibbs rolled his eyes. Oh my God love hearts seriously? Some scary super agent McGee was turning out to be. Gibbs turned to Tony who was watching with some interest.

"You've got to admit Boss that's pretty cool"

"No DiNozzo, it is not pretty cool! He is a possible threat to the Agency. How on earth did a cigar and lighter get past your pat down before you locked him in there?"

"Um well Boss he seemed to be …..well… ahh enjoying it a bit much." Tony squirmed while Gibbs just glared. "And he was teasing me about well…. wanting to _touch_ him… and so I just did the basics and shoved him in there." Tony shivered and grimaced as he remembered how McGee had laughed as he had checked down his trouser legs for 'concealed' weapons.

Gibbs shook his head and sighed. "Not good enough DiNozzo. For four years McGee has had you hassling him everyday and you couldn't handle five minutes teasing from him? Go get Dr Jacobs from the Directors office so she can come and talk to him" Tony shot out of the room before a head slap could make an appearance.

He sighed "Right Ziva. Get in there and get that cigar, lighter and any other contraband he might have off him. If he keeps that up he is going to set the sprinkler system off and I will not be chasing him down wet hallways just because DiNozzo is a bit squeamish."

Ziva nodded, momentarily transfixed. McGee looked so different. He was just so confident and she had to admit sexy. He oozed charm and Alpha Male or would that be Alpha Geek? He still looked immaculate even after theoretically being on the run for a few hours and he smelled fantastic. The consideration that he was at this point in time a bit unpredictable and even a bit dangerous just seemed to add to his allure. He turned his head and seemed to smile at Ziva through the glass, his eyes heavy lidded and sensuous. He reminded her of a tiger she had once seen at the zoo, seemly asleep except for the continual strong swish, swish of its tail, patiently waiting for an opportunity to pounce.

Just get the stuff and get out Ziva. It is just McGee. She took a deep breath and walked through into the room.

"McGee I need you to give me the lighter, cigar and anything else you have with you." She was direct and to the point. She watched as Tim and he definitely seemed more like a Tim than her familiar old McGee at this point, slowly sat up and watched her, smiling with dancing eyes.

"Hello Ziva. How nice to see you again. Isn't it a pleasant day for an Interrogation?" He grinned at her cheeky and warm and gorgeous and she found herself taking a step towards him.

"We just need the cigar and lighter and anything else you have McGee. Please"

"Certainly." Tim patted down his jacket and pants for her benefit and then turned out all his pockets to show they were empty.

"It's just the cigar and the lighter, Ziva and you can have them uncontested if you do one thing for me."

Ziva watched him suddenly alert, suspicious "What do you want?"

"Not much. Just something simple you can give me. A kiss" Tim stood and smiled down at her and she resisted the impulse to run her hand up his chest and feel the softness of his silky fine shirt.

"A kiss? I don't think that's a good idea." She physically opposed her words by taking another step towards his gentle alluring warmth without realizing it.

"Why not Ziva? Don't tell me you have never thought about it?" McGee's voice was rich and smooth like sweet caramel flowing through her ears, wrapping sticky fingers around her. Tim continued holding her soft gaze "I know I have. I've just never had the guts to ask. But now…." Tim shrugged and then looked down holding her eyes with his full lipped lopsided smile on his face "who knows where I'm going to end up so I'm just going to take my chances. Carpe Diem Ziva, seize the day."

Ziva was by this stage standing just in front of him looking up at him, seriously considering his offer. Of course she had thought about it. They had worked together for years. He had always been so gentle and considerate to her. He had been the first to reach out to her and she had never forgotten it. What harm could a little kiss do? She did need to get him to give her the lighter and cigar. She was under orders. She could still handle him if he decided to play rough. He might be stronger but she was still more experienced and knew what moves to use against a stronger opponent. No one who had looked at that bottom lip of his couldn't help but wonder just how soft it would feel pressed up against….

Tim took his chance as Ziva seemed to stare up at him mesmerized and he bent down and kissed her. Gently at first and then as she didn't resist he deepened the kiss, opening his mouth, teasing her lips and pulling her close. He wrapped one arm around her back while the other crept up the back of her head and ran his fingers through her hair loosening all her pinned back curls.

"Damn it David!" Gibbs banged on the window. What the hell was she thinking! He just turned around for a moment to check his phone and all of a sudden it had turned into the Unexplored Kingdom in there.

Tim pulled away and smiled as Ziva inadvertently made a tiny regretful noise before she came back to her senses. She blinked and then suddenly stepped back and drew her hand to her mouth as if surprised at the taste of Tim on them.

Tim smiled and licked his lips, grinning cheekily. "Thank you Ziva. I believe this was what you came for "and he held out the lighter and cigar to her. She snatched them out of his hand and bolted to the door only to nearly collide with Gibbs about to come in. He slammed the door shut, locking it firmly, grabbed her arm and dragged her down the hallway around the corner away from Interrogation. He preferred not to be interrupted when giving one of his agents a thorough dressing down.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?"

"I don't know Gibbs. I'm sorry I thought that it would be….."

"You thought? You actually thought that _kissing him _was good procedure here?"

Ziva hung her head as Gibbs continued to vent his frustration at her. She deserved it. It had been foolhardy and potentially dangerous to both her and McGee. She had been arrogant in her abilities and overly confident that McGee wouldn't harm her. She had fallen for the very thing she had warned Tony against.

What she didn't admit to herself was that she would do it again.

Tim smiled as he pulled the two hairpins he had collected out of Ziva's thick tresses and started to work on the lock on the door. Man Gibbs was going to be pissed!

He really wouldn't want to be around when he discovered him gone. Poor Ziva! The cigar and lighter was a more than fair trade for the hairpins. And as a bonus he got a kiss.

Tim stuck his head out checking the empty hallway and heard Gibbs having a very firm discussion with Ziva down the hallway. He smiled, quietly shut the door and disappeared.

He checked his watch and stopped the timer, 20 minutes. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Gibbs' head shot up at the first sound of the ever present music suddenly changing in the middle of a song. Suddenly his eyes grew round and he ran down the hallway and threw the now unlocked door open. To an empty room.

"Damn It! Ziva how the hell did he get out!"

_I was a high school loser, never made it with a lady  
till the boys told me somethin' I missed  
then my next door neighbor with a daughter had a favor  
so I gave her just a little kiss  
like this!_

walk this way, talk this way  
walk this way, walk this way  
walk this way, walk this way  
walk this way, talk this way  
just gimme a kiss  
like this!

(Come on people and review and let me know what you think. Do you like? Any ideas you would like to see included? It does encourage me to write more even if you just let me know your reading!. Thanks to everyone who has supported and reviewed this rather silly but likeable story already!!)


	12. Chapter 12

Michelle blinked rapidly. She was hot. She shrugged off her light jacket and took another sip of water. Why was she so hot? I mean well she was HOT or at least Jimmy thought so but you know she was actually hot, hot.

There must be some problem with the air conditioning again. Perhaps it was the same problem that was affecting the elevators? And was it just her or did the lights seem dimmer? Michelle finished off the rest of her glass of water and went for a refill from the cooler.

_And the man at the back said  
Everyone attack and it turned into a ballroom blitz  
And the girl in the corner said  
Boy, I wanna warn ya, it'll turn into a ballroom blitz  
Ballroom blitz, ballroom blitz, ballroom blitz  
Ballroom blitz_

_I'm reaching out for something  
Touching nothing's all I ever do  
Oh, I softly call you over  
When you appear there's nothing left of you, aha  
Now the man in the back  
Is ready to crack as he raises his hands to the sky  
And the girl in the corner is ev'ryone's mourner  
She could kill you with a wink of her eye_

_Oh yeah, it was electric, so frightfully hectic  
And the band started leaving, 'cause they all stopped breathing_

_It's it's a ballroom blitz, it's it's a ballroom blitz  
It's it's a ballroom blitz, yeah, it's a ballroom blitz_

Everyone had been confined to Base due to some security breach, but strangely no one seemed to mind. She had expected there to be some grumblings about having to remain at work but instead everyone seemed to be in a pretty good mood. In fact with the music playing and everyone just sort of kicking around taking the opportunity to have a chat the atmosphere seemed quite festive.

She watched as a paper plane soared past her face elegantly swooping through the cubicles to the cheers of some usually dour faced administrators. It appeared that some sort of betting ring had been established and money was now changing hands based on the paper planes performance.

Michelle decided she might take up some of that action. She had been pretty good with aerodynamics in her time. Besides she couldn't go home and she couldn't get hold of Jimmy on his phone. Her work would still be here in the morning. She hoped some really good dancing music would come on soon. She had been working long hours lately and it had been a while since she had shaken her groove thang.

Groove thang? Where did that come from? Did she even have a groove thang?

"Well I think it's obvious that we can't trust the blue prints of the building as last time I looked that was the Evidence Locker and not the Gym. We need to find out where McGee has stashed himself and cut off his access to however he is doing all this"

Gibbs had gathered what was left of his team around his desk and was trying to speak quietly in case the all hearing McGee overheard him. This was made more difficult by the continual music loudly playing through the speakers.

_Workin like a dog for the boss man  
Workin for the company  
Im bettin on the dice Im tossin  
Im gonna have a fantasy__en Im goin down  
Love in an elevator  
Lovin it up till I hit the ground_

_But where am I gonna look  
They tell me that love is blind  
I really need a girl like an open book  
To read between the lines_

_Love in an elevator  
Livin it up when Im doing down!_

"Ok I seriously DO NOT want to know what is happening in the elevators at the moment" Tony eyed them nervously as Aerosmith blasted through the speakers.

Gibbs shot Tony a dirty look and then answered the phone on his desk. He screwed up his face as he tried to understand the caller.

"Shuuushhhh. Trying secret"

"What?"

"Helloooooooo?? Gibbssssssssss?"

"Ducky? Is that you?"

"'Hiccup' Jethro dear boy I have mannegged to keep Timotty here in autopsy. He would only stay if I had a little drink with him. His capac itinitty for holding his alcohol is quite tremendablless. It might be a good idea if you….Woops"

Gibbs heard what sounded like Ducky sliding down the wall and dropping the receiver before he slurred out loudly "Another round Timothy?"

In the background Gibbs could hear what sounded like Ducky's rough brogue and McGee's clear high tenor singing….. what was that song? Danny Boy?

"The pipes, the pipes are hiccup calllllllllliiiinnnggggggg, from glen to glen and dooooooowwwwwnnnnnn the mountain side. Take it away Timmy!"

Gibbs heard McGee's voice soaring up at the high note smoothly capturing it "I'll be heeerrrreee in springtime…."

"Ziva, Tony autopsy now! Ducky's trying to distract McGee. Careful he might be drunk. Ziva do NOT kiss him. And take the damn stairs!"

Director Sheppard stood in MTAC attempting to explain to SECNAV the goings on of the last couple of hours. Strung together it really didn't seem all that much in terms of National Security but her gut was telling her something was up.

'We are working on capturing him. So far he doesn't seem to be presenting a physical threat to anyone but he is causing havoc with our computing systems and security. We are still not sure what has and has not been compromised. We also aren't sure of his ….."

Static rippled down the massive screen in front of her.

"Can you hear me? James what's going on?" The Director turned to one of the techs frantically trying to regain the signal.

Suddenly the screen was up again and a blond woman was prancing through a bar in the tiniest pair of gold hot pants the Director had ever seen.

_Clearin' this house out of joy  
that I borrowed  
From back in the day  
Threw away my old clothes  
Got myself a better wardrobe  
I got something to say  
I'm through with the past  
Ain't no point in looking back  
The future will be  
And did I forget to mention that  
I found a new direction  
And it leads back to me  
_

"What the hell is that! Where is SECNAV?"

"It appears to be a music video Director. We are trying to figure out the source but it appears to be coming from somewhere within the building. We don't seem to be having any luck shutting it down."

_  
I'm spinning around  
Move out of my way  
I know you're feelin' me 'cuz you like  
it like this  
I'm breakin' it down  
I'm not the same  
I know you're feelin' me 'cuz you like it_

"Is that Kylie Minogue? The Australian singer? Well she lives in the UK now but.."

"I don't care if it's Barry Manalow! She should not be in the Multiple Threat Assessment Center! Get her off now" Jennifer Sheppard felt the world beginning to close in on her.

"Let me know when you get it fixed. I'll be in my office."

Jenny sat back at her desk, unease disturbing her as much as the faint smell of cigar smoke that still lingered. What the hell was McGee up to? All that ability and access to do what? Bring down the Eastern Sea Board? Chase Ziva around a desk?

Her phone rang and she snatched it up.

"What?"

"I'm sorry Director for interrupting but I thought you should know."

"Now what? He's already turned MTAC into MTV"

"It appears Dancing has broken out in the cafeteria."

(Thank you for your patience. I will try and update quicker. Please let me know if your still enjoying this.)


	13. Chapter 13A

**(Sorry this update took so long. Too many stories but should have some finished soon. Please review and let me know your still reading. This chapter too long? so broke into two seperate smaller chapters. Thanks to all by previous reviewers it is what keeps me coming back to work on this so thank you very very much. Precious)**

Tony and Ziva pelted down the steps heading towards autopsy. As they reached the doorway they drew their weapons and slowly, cautiously entered.

"Oh Timothy. Where are you? I have a Probie snack for you" Tony called out as they stepped carefully further into the room.

"Look Tony."

Tony's heart sunk as he saw Ducky's body collapsed in a heap next to one of the autopsy tables. Surely McGee would never…. He didn't finish the thought as he and Ziva rushed over. Tony grabbed his shoulder and rolled him over terrified at what he might find.

Ducky snorted loudly at the disturbance of his pleasant sleep and then smiled blearily up at Tony, his glasses slipping off his nose.

"Anthoneee my good laddd. What are you doing up there?' Ducky seemed momentarily confused as to why he was on the floor.

"Wow Ducky, how much did you have to drink?" Tony waived his hand in front of his face at the smell from Ducky's breath

"Just a wee dram, my boy" Ducky squinted and held his fingers together … and missed.

Tony shook his head in frustration as he heard the dreaded music start up again. Bad Medicine. Bon Jovi? Tony decided he really was beginning to dislike McGee's sense of humor.

_I aint got a fever got a permanent disease  
Itll take more than a doctor to prescribe a remedy  
I got lots of money but it isnt what I need  
Gonna take more than a shot to get this poison out of me  
I got all the symptoms count em 1,2,3  
__  
Your love is like bad medicine  
Bad medicine is what I need  
Shake it up, just like bad medicine  
There aint no doctor that can  
Cure my disease_

Bad, bad medicine

"Let me guess McGee's not here is he?"

" I tried to keep him entertained and Tomozee was never a big drinker zzo I figured I could hold my own againzttt him easily enough. Keep him distracted but he druncked twice what I did and still had no trouble climbing up."

"Climbing up?" Ziva started staring at the ceiling and raised her gun as if expecting McGee to suddenly swoop down on them.

Ducky flapped his hands towards one of the large air conditioning vents used to keep autopsy constantly cool as Tony struggled to get him into an upright position.

"Up. He went up there. Just jumped up and he was off. Very charming he wazz. Lovely voice too. We sung a song. Let's sing a song shall we Anthony? There once was a woman from Bombay who…"

"Ah no Ducky. I don't think so. How about you go into your office and sleep some of that off?" Tony supported Ducky as the two ambled towards Ducky's office where Tony installed Ducky into his comfortable chair. An instant later Ducky was fast asleep with his feet propped up on his desk and his chin on his chest.

"Just what are you up too Probie?" Tony's voice was muffled as he dragged a chair over and hoisted himself up into the open vent. Turning awkwardly he reached down and helped lift Ziva up until they were both in the silver metallic vent.

"We're coming to get you McGee!" Tony whispered quietly into the open space in front of him and he started crawling and banging along, cursing his own bad planning. If he had lifted Ziva into the vent and been the 'gentleman' then he would now have a nice view of Ziva's rear end instead of thinking about what she thought of his.

"Turning ahead" Tony called out and twisted his head around to catch Ziva's attention and only succeeded in banging his head. Owww. Tony considered bitterly that McGee would have thought of it. And of Ziva's ass in particular. Stupid, stupid drugged Probie making him crawl about in the dark in ceiling vents.

Rats. They were nothing more than big giant rats running though some incomprehensible maze and Tony just hoped that there wasn't an electric shock at the end of it for them.

It had been fun visiting Ducky and listening to his stories. Normally he just didn't have time. It also would draw attention to the absolute opposite side of the building to which he was headed. Tim didn't really like possibly ruining the glorious folds of his suit by climbing through the air conditioning vents but still he didn't need to go far before he could drop out and simply walk again.

Tim took the opportunity of the brief crawl space journey to peek into the glass jar where he had stuffed his familiar voice. It appeared to have sort of keeled over in shock so Tim after giving the jar a swift shake to wake it up, stuffed a couple of juicy metaphorical leaves in there to try and make it happy before securing the wax paper over the top again. He really didn't want the sweet simple thing to die… just to stop hassling him and preventing him from having any fun.

The other voice Tim didn't bother with. Even in it's metal biscuit tin home with a rock on top of it he could still hear it's rage at its captivity. That voice could stay there.

His plan was definitely coming together. It was obvious by the way no one noticed him walking through the corridors again. Everyone was too busy having fun and flirting to notice someone sensible strolling the corridors. Well this made things much easier and faster. Tim didn't like to waste his absolute stupendous ness by lurking about in abandoned stairwells. Tim smoothed his hair down and sharpened the fold of his collar before dusting himself off and striding confidently out to continue on with his Master Plan.

To the Evidence Garage!

_Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk  
I'm a woman's man: no time to talk  
Music loud and women warm, I've been kicked around  
Since I was born  
And now it's all right, it's okay  
And you may look the other way  
We can try to understand  
The New York Time's effect on man_

Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother  
You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive  
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin'  
And we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive  
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive  
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive


	14. Chapter 13B

"Um I think we have gone too far? Ziva? You hear me back there?"

"mumble mumble mumble"

'What?"

"If I never see your hairy butt again it will be too soon!"

"Fine. Be like that. I know lots of women who would love to trade places with you right now. Anyway now that I have your attention. I think we have gone too far. I can't see him, hear him or smell him and we have been heading up in this midget metal prison for ages. I think we should just try and get out of here and see where we are. Agreed?"

"Mumble."

"What"

"YES! TONY I AGREE. GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

Tony crawled to the nearest vent opening and pulling out his knife started working on the screws so they could drop through to sweet freedom. Ha no electronic cheese shocks for this hairy butted rat.

"What the hell is going on around here?"

Tony and Ziva dropped down into what was once the dour and rather boring looking NCIS Legal Department and now appeared to be a cross between Spring Break and Las Vegas.

They stood amongst a wave of noise and activity as people ran past them and called out to each other waiving various bits of paper around gleefully.

Gambling of all forms seemed to be rife and large whiteboards had been trundled out and written up tracking the bets. Paperclip flicking seemed to be most popular and had the largest crowd while one legged stapler hurling was also popular. Desks had been pushed aside and hopscotch, undertaken with a real bottle of scotch had been taped out onto the floor.

Tony and Ziva just stared open mouthed around the room unable to grasp the situation in all its glorious sights, sounds and color. Sensible bright young things seemed to be doing their utmost to be as ridiculous as possible, giggling like teenagers and flirting badly. Elder statesmen types seemed to be competing in the rudest thing they could do with a budgetary request form.

Sensible twin sets had been peeled off in the sweltering heat revealing lacy camisoles, official regulation length skirts were hiked up and ties were being used for every purpose except to reside around men's necks. A pair of pantyhose hung abandoned off the edge of a cubical wall and several inappropriate things were being done with office stationary.

There was singing and dancing and hugging and Tony even thought he caught a little groping going on. Tony turned full circle as he tried to take in the rough and ready circus that had suddenly appeared.

"Oh you have got to be kidding! Ziva look!"

Ziva turned to see Michelle Lee in sexy high heels, tiny skirt and silky shirt strutting along the top of some desks like a runway, singing along full voice to Def Leppard, tossing her long black hair like a vamp.

_Pour some sugar on me  
Ooh, in the name of love  
Pour some sugar on me  
C'mon fire me up  
Pour your sugar on me  
Oh, I can't get enough_

I'm hot, sticky sweet  
From my head to my feet yeah

Listen! red light, yellow  
light, green-a-light go!  
Crazy little woman in a one man show  
Mirror queen, mannequin, rhythm of love  
Sweet dream, saccharine, loosen up

You gotta squeeze a  
little, squeeze a little  
Tease a little more  
Easy operator come a knockin' on my door  
Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet  
Little miss innocent sugar me, yeah

"Ziva. Can you pinch me please?"

Ziva obliged by pinching Tony's arm hard.

"Owwww. Ok Ok. Uncle. So this obviously isn't a dream. We need to tell Gibbs that maybe whatever Probie's got he is contaminating everybody?"

"Then why aren't we affected? We have had more contact with him than anyone else."

Tony's head dropped to the side as he watched an elderly and rather portly administrator leap onto a desk and start rocking out with a massive silent air guitar performance. His comb over flopped onto the other side of his face as his face shone with sweat and enjoyment. Satisfaction oozed out of every oily pore and a gathering crowd below him started clapping and cheering his performance.

"It seems like they are drunk. Really drunk. But the only thing anyone seems to be drinking is …" Ziva reached out and snatched a large glass of liquid out of the hand of a young man in hot pursuit of a pretty blonde, both firmly in their wheeled chairs as he rolled past…" water?"

Ziva sipped it "It seems to just be water. Maybe it's something else that's making them crazy. It is very hot in here."

Ziva fanned herself, popped open the top button of her shirt and took another sip of the water. "Yes siree Paul it is very hot in here." Ziva took a deep draft of the refreshing cool water and popped another button.

"We really should tell Gibbs what's going on. This water is making me thirsty? Can water do that Tony? Make you thirsty?" Ziva raised the glass to her mouth and suddenly Tony turned around and knocked the water out of her hand.

"Ziva! Don't you see it is the water? It's got something in it that you can't taste. Look you're already undoing your shirt and talking crazy and you only had half a glass! These people are drinking it like it's….. it's . Gatorade or something."

"Ok this has suddenly just got real serious. When it was just McGee, that was one thing but now we're talking about the entire building going out of control. How is this going to look on the evening news? The entire staff of NCIS being arrested for being drunk and disorderly? Or by the way things are going Indecent Exposure. We have to let the Director know and find a way to shut down the water supplies and anything else McGiggle there has tampered with."

Ziva nodded her head in agreement and licked her dry lips as she watched a man pouring water from the cooler bottle into the mouths of several others as they lay back over chairs.

"Ziva! Let's go."

In their haste to leave to report back to Gibbs and the Director not just the failed capture of NCIS's Most Wanted, Timothy McGee but the apparent intoxication of the rest of the staff they did not notice the scrolling red light bulletin board. But many of the occupants of the Legal Department now fleeced of their money and looking to continue to have a good time did.

_All staff are hereby invited to attend Timothy McGee's party in the gym. Bring your friends! All staff are hereby invited to attend Timothy McGee's party in the gym. Bring your friends!_

_(**Thank you for reading. More ridiculous fun to come. Please review as it keeps me encouraged and let me know anything you would like to see and If I like it I will fit it in too!)**_


	15. Chapter 14

The new dangerous voice which Tim had secured away in his unconscious mind, howled and raged violently in its captivity. How dare it be confined in such a manner! Millions of dollars spent and years in its creation, it would change the balance of warfare and power around the world. Here it was, so close to being unleashed upon an unsuspecting civilian population who would have no choice but to bow down to him as if he were a living God and it was trapped in the mind of a gentle man.

This was the opportunity to do glorious, earth shattering things and it was being wasted on a geek.

Who was throwing a Party no less.

The voice fed on the humiliation and anger, growing stronger in its rage.

All that strength, agility, passion, speed, lightening fast responses and fearlessness being squandered. The voice hurled itself at its conceptualized prison, slamming into the metal biscuit tin wall, the large rock sitting on top of the lid moving a tiny millimeter from the impact. Screaming its rage the voice gathered itself and hit the wall hard. Again.

The rock moved another millimeter

The familiar voice eyed the shaking biscuit tin warily from the other side of the large book filled room of Timothy McGee's mind, growing increasingly concerned. It quietly considered its glass jar and wax paper prison carefully before it slipped out the knife it always carried with a sigh and began carefully climbing up the glossy leaves stuffed in for it presumable consumption. Cautiously, carefully the familiar voice started its long dangerous journey. It may not survive but it had to do it. It was the right thing to do.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Tony slowed slightly on their rush through the NCIS Legal Department to grab two water bottles from the raucous crowd littering their path. At Ziva's querying look Tony tossed her one.

"For Abby. So she can do some tests. She never touches the stuff so I doubt she will be affected even if McGee has tampered with everything. And Gibbs is strictly a coffee only guy so he should be alright too. At least it explains what McGee has been doing over the last couple of hours and why the vending machines are all empty."

The two arrived panting slightly to an empty bullpen.

"Well so where do you think Gibbs is Party Girl?" Tony wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at Ziva's blouse which remained slightly unbuttoned.

Ziva scowled at him and flicked some of her water at his face. "You are the what do they call it the Prat Boy? You figure it out"

Tony wiped the water from his face with a grin and proceeded to squirt her with the water from his bottle. It _was_ hot in here.

"It's Frat Boy Ziva" Tony said with a grin as she unsuccessfully tried to duck to avoid the water.

"Ha you missed my face." Ziva crowed as she considered that Tony appeared to be trying to get her more 'drunk' on the water.

"It wasn't your face I was aiming for Ziii va" Tony leered at Ziva and her now almost translucent wet top clinging to her breasts.

Ziva's smile disappeared and her eyes narrowed. She slowly started unscrewing the top of the water bottle off as she carefully stalked towards Tony.

Uh oh. Ziva was pissed now. Would she actually be able to physically pin him down and make him drink the water? Kind of exciting but unprofessional none the less.

Still Probie and possibly half of NCIS were currently up to worse.

Wet Ziva wrestling in the middle of the bullpen. Tony tried to remember if he had had that dream already.

Oh Yeah. Tuesday.

Tony started preparing his own bottle as he assessed how far away behind him Probie's desk was and if he should try and dive instead behind Gibbs desk before the water war broke out.

Ziva was only a few feet away now. Which way would lead to his salvation?

_Double Slap_

Gibbs appeared between the two of them from around a divider

"Oww Boss what was that for?" Tony rubbed his head actually glad Gibbs had chosen at that moment to do his magic appearing trick.

Gibbs just quirked his eyebrow at Ziva's blouse while he told Ziva off for wasting evidence.

"Lets get down to Abby's lab now and see what we are dealing with" Gibbs glared at the two agents and they hung their heads shamefully, Tony taking the opportunity to have a good shifty stare at Ziva's wet chest.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Director Sheppard gnashed her sharp little teeth together like a small terrier and considered how she would enjoy worrying them into a certain agents shoulder right about now. Or his calf really considering how much taller he was then her.

The Multiple Threats Assessment Center which had been working through a Kylie Minogue music video retrospective, rather impressive given her twenty years in the industry was now playing to put it lightly….blue movies.

Four technicians were furiously working trying to figure out how to regain control of communications while art house porn filled the giant screen. Sex in French was still sex and she watched as one of the technicians loosened his collar and undid his tie as the sensual moaning coming from the surround sound system began to rattle his nerves. They all broke out in a heavy sweat when she came back into the room as if the sight of a female superior standing hands on hips in front of the extremely heavy naked petting going on and demanding better performance from them was enough to bring them to their knees.

After some consideration she considered that she had previously had that effect on some men and decided she would be more helpful if she removed her person from the sweltering hot room.

And where the hell was Cynthia?

The Director jumped as finally a call came through to her cell. Maybe McGee hadn't managed to tamper with all communications?

"Ah Director, I'm at the gate with the equipment you ordered. Can you tell the men at the gate to let me in now? Sorry I took so long but the truck followed me back as it was a big order"

"Cynthia. Thank God you're alright"

"Ah yes Director I'm fine. Is there anything wrong?"

"Oh you have no idea. Wait what did you mean you're at the gate with the equipment I ordered. I didn't order anything."

Cynthia read through her list for the Surprise party the Director had sent her.

"Well I got a message asking me to get two hundred paper hats, balloons and streamers, a mechanical bull, a mud wrestling ring, 100 bags of ice and a dozen large ice chests for a surprise party for the crew of the Abraham Lincoln. It took me a while but it's all loaded up in the big truck and they followed me back to the yard. Are you saying you don't want it?"

The Directors eyes glittered. McGee. Finally she had something it appeared he wanted.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

"Gibbs!" Abby tottered quickly over to Gibbs and gave him a big hug.

"Hooray I have been so bored stuck down here without my computers. I have managed to get some things working but McGee has really done a job on them."

Gibbs waived the water bottles at Abby, trying to catch her attention.

"Do you think you've got enough equipment to run some tests on this water Abby?"

Abby grinned "A bit Hinky huh? I have noticed some pretty weird stuff going on in the stairwell but I figured people cope with stress in different ways. What do you think McGee is thinking?"

Suddenly the ever present loud metal music particular to Abby's lab disappeared and was replaced with a heavy rock beat.

_I kissed a girl and I liked it  
The taste of her cherry chap stick  
I kissed a girl just to try it  
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it  
It felt so wrong  
It felt so right  
Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
I kissed a girl and I liked it  
I liked it_

Us girls we are so magical  
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable  
Hard to resist so touchable  
Too good to deny it  
Ain't no big deal, it's innocent

Gibbs glared and shouted up at the ceiling knowing that McGee would hear him.

"Yes Thank you VERY much for your suggestion MCGEE but I don't think that will be happening anytime soon." Gibbs could swear he could hear McGee's laugh echoing through the lab. A very dirty little laugh.

Abby was looking at Ziva speculatively while Ziva was smirking at Abby. Tony's mouth went dry as he considered the two of them..

Slap

Gibbs glared at Tony while the two women giggled together behind him "And don't you dare ask me what that was for or you will get another one."

Suddenly they all turned as the Director strode into the lab, her face a picture of fierce delight as she slapped down a piece of paper in front of them, her elegant handwriting scrawled across it.

_I know what McGee is planning and I think we should lure him into a trap._

_(You know the routine. If you like my work please let me know as it keeps me continuing the story. And a big thank you to those that have reviewed on other chapters it does help keep the ideas flowing)_


	16. Chapter 15

_(Ok its Back! Sorry for the long wait but I had to get some of my other stories out of the way first. I will be running this one through until the end so there should be at least weekly updates on it. Thanks for your patience and support. Please please review as that does help too! Thanks Precious)_

Gibbs quickly signed silently to Abby and pointed at the ceiling.

"_Talk to him…keep him distracted"_

Abby grinned and dragged Ziva off over into the corner of the lab before shouting into space.

"Hey McGee? Are you listening? Ziva and I want to talk to you…"

Abby looked at Ziva who shrugged. Ziva threw a look over her shoulder at where Gibbs, Tony and the Director seemed to be furiously scribbling silently back and forth between them.

A plan. Excellent. Hopefully they would finally stop chasing their tales and be able to come up with something that could stop McGee in his tracks. The longer this went on it seemed the wilder McGee became and the more dangerous. And the more people got involved. Now it wasn't amusing anymore. McGee had managed to effectively shut down NCIS National Headquarters. Information wasn't being collected, operations weren't being directed and leads weren't being followed up. The old Timothy McGee, the dedicated agent would be horrified.

There was also the worry that the longer it took them to get McGee the medical help he needed to flush the drug out of his system the more actual irreparable damage might be done. Ziva felt a flash of worry for the gentle, sweet McGee who seemed to be currently held hostage to some wild drug fuelled alter ego of his own creation. Damn Timothy's wild imagination.

Abby called up again pleading for an answer.

"We miss you! Are you ok? Come on Tim I know you are up there, answer me? Please Timmy"

_I like the sound of your belt dropping  
Your door locking, you jangle your keys, yeah  
I like the sound of your heart stopping  
Of lip locking, the grazing of knees, yeah  
I like the sound of skin touching  
Hands fumblin', you do as you please  
I like the sound of back on the wall, yeah  
Shelves falling, oh yes indeed!_  
_But I love it when you call my name  
I love it when you call my name,yeah  
Both ends of the candle burnt by the flame  
Yeah I love it when you call my name,_

And I love it when you call my name  
I love it when you call my name  
Both ends of the candle burnt by the flame  
Yeah I love it when you call my name,

I like the sound of your shirt ripping  
My will slipping under the table  
I like the sound of your hand slapping  
Your whip cracking, this could be painful  
I may like the rain, I may like the symphony  
I may like the feel of your frame on my frame

Abby laughed in relief "Oh yeah you're there all right aren't you Timmy? I'm assuming you are ok? You certainly sound frisky. Come on Tim talk to me?"

There was a pause and Ziva and Abby waited hoping.

Suddenly McGee's smiling voice washed through the labs announcement speakers.

"Hello Abby. Hello Ziva"

Abby nearly clapped her hands in excitement.

"Oh Timmy! You have been a VERY naughty agent. But I have decided to forgive you for that little stunt earlier when you tied me up because I'm sure it was the virus talking. Did you mess with the water? That was you wasn't it?"

Tim's voice was almost sheepish "Yes."

Abby grinned " Well I shouldn't be saying this but…Genius! Really it was very clever of you McGee. Taking all the soda so there weren't many alternatives. And it is very funny to see everyone acting so wild. I saw Mr Fitzherbert doing an Elvis impersonation on the escalator. He's actually very good. Maybe he does it on the side because the way he was swinging his hips for a man of his age…"

"Abby!" Ziva interrupted and tried to get McGee talking again.

"Why did you do it McGee?" Ziva wanted to know if his intent was malicious or opportunistic.

"I figured I felt great so everyone else should feel good as well. Everyone is so tense around here. Geez lighten up everyone. You know take a chill pill."

Abby frowned at the loud exhaling sound that followed. Was McGee…smoking??

"Where are you McGee?' Abby had her hands on her hips and was using her don't mess with me voice.

"I'm in the evidence garage….smoking pot"

"No seriously Tim. Where are you?"

"Oh I am being serious" There was that exhaling sound again as Tim blew the smoke into the microphone so they could hear it.

Abby gasped and Ziva frowned.

"Timothy McGee! You stop smoking marijuana straight away! You know it leaves a tar residue in your brain. Its killing of your brain cells as we speak"

Abby couldn't believe it. McGee _never_ smoked or swore or made lewd remarks or ……..well never did any of the things he had been doing today.

Tim's grinning voice came back through the lab

"Hey I could kill off brain cells all day and still be a genius. Besides I thought I should try it. DiNozzo was right I never did inhale….but I am now."

Ziva glared at Tony "Did you tell him to smoke pot Tony?"

Tony looked up in confusion "What? No of course not. Well I mean there was that one case….oh years ago…Kate and I laughed at him and told him he hadn't inhaled because he said he didn't like it."

Abby and Ziva glared at Tony who threw his hands up in protest

"But I didn't tell him to go wild and shut down a federal agency and start smoking pot! Come on guys! Don't look at me like that!"

McGee's voice disappeared to be replaced with All Along The Watchtower surging through the lab.

_"There must be some way out of here," said the joker to the thief,  
"There's too much confusion, I can't get no relief.  
Businessmen, they drink my wine, plowmen dig my earth,  
None of them along the line know what any of it is worth."_

_"No reason to get excited," the thief, he kindly spoke,  
"There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke.  
But you and I, we've been through that, and this is not our fate,  
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late."_

_All along the watchtower, princes kept the view  
While all the women came and went, barefoot servants, too._

_Outside in the distance a wildcat did growl,  
Two riders were approaching, the wind began to howl._

"Oh Jimmy Hendrix….How classic of you McGee" Abby grinned while Ziva looked thoughtful.

Ziva turned and called up to McGee curiously

"So…are you saying that Tony is the joker and I am the thief then McGee? Or is the thief who doesn't want to talk falsely is that Gibbs? Are there riders approaching from outside McGee? Are there security forces outside McGee? Are Gibbs and Tony the princes on the watchtower keeping watch for you or is that you watching over all of us? The barefoot servants…that's everyone else isn't it? The way they are employees or servants and they are stripping off their clothes and wandering around, because of the water or _the wine_ that you dosed? Who is the wildcat that is growling then McGee and who is he growling at? Is it you or at us?"

Tim smiled. Clever Ziva. But he wouldn't put her out of her misery just yet this was too much fun.

Abby protested with a wild shake of her head her pigtails dancing.

"No Ziva. McGee isn't telling us anything. McGee is SMOKING POT. I can't believe I just said that but there you go. I didn't think he would duct tape me to my table either. He is not only infected with some super virus weapon thing but he is drunk and high! It's amazing he is making any sense at all. The song is simply atmosphere, you know the vibe? The whole I'm a repelling super geek, in the evidence garage smoking pot where my team leader can't find me thing? All those pent up years of being sensible and doing what his parents told him are all just busting out that's all. The song doesn't mean anything."

Ziva disagreed "No every time he has played music he has been trying to tell us something. I don't think this is any different. Its just that this song is more complicated than the others. I want to understand. It might be important."

Abby shook her head " No no this is Hendrix. It's all about the music man! Now if he played this same song by Dillon…well that's totally different. That's a protest song"

Ziva threw her hands up "It's the same song with the same lyrics…."

"Its like the song Smells like Teen Spirit. When it's done by Nirvana it's saying one thing but have you heard the same song when it played by multiple banjos? Totally different song."

"But McGee isn't playing songs with banjos.."

Gibbs frowned as he looked up from the plan being formulated to see Ziva and Abby arguing over what seemed to be some sort of musical appreciation.

Gibbs whistled loudly "Would you two shut up? McGee? Are you ok? I don't think it's a good idea to add any more chemicals to the cocktail that is your system right now ok? We want to get you back to normal and treating you is going to be hard enough without adding Class A drugs to your system. McGee? Stay away from the Evidence Locker you hear me? I know there are lots of interesting, dangerous things in there that you might want to play with but don't. Just say no McGee!"

Gibbs listened to the silence that met his ears while Abby pouted.

"Gibbs you scared him away! He was at least talking to me and Ziva and now we know where in the building he is. You shouldn't have told him off. He may not be the McGee you're used to but he's not a little kid Gibbs. And no one likes being told off."

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Did they think he was stupid or something? Tim sat back in his chair at his Operation Party Headquarters and watched the security feed on the monitors of what was going on the lab. He may not be able to see everything they were writing down in an effort to trap him but it was enough. Did they seriously think he would just tell them where he was? Besides he had already been to the Evidence Locker.

Tim sighed. When would they stop underestimating him?

Tim looked across at where Burt sat as hostage in the corner of the room. He had tied him to an office chair with a silk stocking he had found abandoned in the hallway just in case the hippo tried anything tricky.

Well he had something Abby held dear just in case he got into a tight spot perhaps he needed something or someone that the Director held dear?

Tim flicked his eyes back to the monitors again where the Director was smiling smugly at Gibbs.

So the Director had declared war on him, had she? Well two could play at that game. Sometimes you just had to fight for the right to party!

Tim reached out and turned up the volume on the emergency announcement channel until the Beastie Boys were slamming through the entire building, shaking the walls with the heavy beat and the soaring guitar.

_You wake up late for school - man you don't wanna go  
You ask you mom, "Please?" - but she still says, "No!"  
You missed two classes - and no homework  
But your teacher preaches class like you're some kind of jerk__ your best porno mag_

You gotta fight for your right to party

You pop caught you smoking - and he said, "No way!"  
That hypocrite - smokes two packs a day  
Man, living at home is such a drag  
Now your mom threw away

You gotta fight for your right to party  
You gotta fight!


	17. Chapter 16

_Previously_

Tim sighed and pushed his thick black reading glasses further up his nose and blinked through the thick lenses. Really it was a complete shame to hide his mind blowing fabulousness behind such an ugly outfit but sometimes dreadful things needed to be done for the greater good.

His marvelous slick suit was hidden underneath a white Lab coat and with his hair severely slicked the opposite way like a ridiculously bad comb over, a top pocket full of pens and a clipboard full of C49a forms he looked…. Well not like himself. Which was the point.

He hadn't been able to resist the badge which was pinned to the lapel of his coat which read -

I'm sorry. My Fault. I forgot you were an idiot!

Tim thought this added just a touch of personality to his ugly, sad but efficient alter ego Trevor. If his disguise was too perfect it might raise suspicions, besides Tim thought even after he had done with 'Trevor' he might wear the badge in response to some of Tony's more inane questions.

Tim stood and looked into the mirror. Really to complete the outfit he should smother his fantastic new cologne Euphoria which made woman want to fall weeping at his feet with sheer desire with some of Gibbs' Old Spice or something. Tim considered the issue deeply.

No. He just couldn't do it to the women of the agency. It would be cruel.

Decision made Tim headed towards the Evidence Garage towards his next task.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

"How much longer do we just have to sit here Sir?" Malcolm whined in bored frustration.

"Until I tell you to. Now shut your trap and just be grateful you an't running the obstacle course with a full pack, a mouthful of mud and wet boots. You are sitting here nice and quiet and dry and until someone tells us otherwise we follow orders and stay here."

Richards glared at his newest recruit while the rest of his men either napped or played cards and gossiped. He along with twenty of his men had been asked to drive a dozen supply trucks across to NCIS where they were being examined for tampering and tested for possible explosive residue relating to an ongoing case. It seemed a simple enough plan but once they got here, parked the massive trucks and signed the release forms they were told to wait.

So wait they did. In the meantime it seemed that everyone had disappeared. Hours had no gone past with out so much as seeing a supply clerk. The lights would flicker and go out before coming back on again, the phones didn't appear to be working and music kept getting periodically blasted through the speakers. Something was obviously up at NCIS Headquarters.

But Richards had been a grunt for a long time and until he received an order to move his men out he was staying right where he was told to.

"Um Hello?" Came a timid soft voice

Richards turned quickly and managed to startle the poor man who instinctively clutched at his precious clip board for support.

"Yes?" Richards's voice boomed out, accustomed as he was to either yelling or screaming at new recruits. The timid man took a step back and pushed his thick glasses back up his nose and bit his lip.

"Um I was asked to come down with some new orders…..you see there has been a security breach of some sort and NCIS is under quarantine. So everyone has to remain within the building until they can sort it out"

"What sort of security beach?" Richards knew he had all his men's attention now as he stood toe to toe with the clip board man. He actually wasn't as small as he first appeared.

"Oh forgive me…where are my manners I'm Trevor Markum……. And as for the security breach…."

Tim shrugged and attempted to smother his masterfulness underneath a thick layer of pathetic before looking at Richards apologetically.

"Well no one tells me anything around here I'm afraid. I'm too low on the food chain. I think its just some computer glitch but they are being cautious at this stage."

Richards nodded. If there was one thing he knew about, it was being at the bottom of the food chain.

"All right, well what do they want us to do since we are stuck here until whatever it is gets sorted out?"

'Trevor' pushed his too big glasses up his nose again with a small smile "Well if you and your men could fill those empty water cooler containers along that far wall with tap water, place them on those large trolleys and take them over to the gym that would be really helpful. It's just a precaution…in case it does turn out to be something then there are large supplies of uncontaminated water we can use."

Richard nodded "Makes sense I suppose. All right you lazy grunts, you heard what the man said get your butts moving and filling those bottles!"

Tim smiled as his personal army of muscular helpers started to swing into action. Oh there were lots of things they could help 'Trevor' with.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

_Present Time_

"Ok this is just like a campfire…except the Directors here…and we are all crouching…..and we are in a paint supply cupboard." Tony whispered excited and grinned at the others crouched around him.

Ziva glared back while Abby was excited and wondered if this was what field agents really did when they weren't in her lab. It was kind of cool. Maybe they should make up a secret handshake or door knock or something like a special club. Oh! What should their name be? The Anti McGee Alliance or AMA? Or the Bad Probie Capture Club or BPCC?

"Okay so why are we here again?" Tony whispered.

Jenny cursed again the mild mannered man that had reduced her to hiding out in one of her own paint supply cupboards.

"There are no cameras, no microphones, it has a concrete ceiling, great ventilation and special locks on the doors so we know McGee can't over hear us." Jenny whispered back crossly.

"Ok" Tony nodded still whispering "But why are we crouching then?"

Everyone looked at each other a bit sheepishly and then stood and brushed off their clothes.

Gibbs rolled his eyes. Really this was getting ridiculous. McGee and his crazy behavior were getting to all of them.

"All right Jen, you have us all here now what's the rest of your plan?" Gibbs whispered.

Jenny nodded, back into her Director mode again. She might only have this motley crew and a paint supply cupboard under her control but they were the best damn team she had.

"Alright well once MTAC started having trouble I diverted operational control to Vance over at the San Diego office and I put us into lock down. Essentially no one can come in or out of the base until the order is lifted.

Now we need to capture McGee which has proven tricky as he's always been one step ahead of us, now we know why as he has been able to hear our movements and conversations. Also with the water he has essentially taken out the rest of the building and any help coming from there so we are on our own.

Ducky is sleeping off too much alcohol in his office, Palmer is god knows where and Cynthia is following my orders.

Tony, Ziva I need you to shut down the water supply that McGee has tampered with. I know where the two main shut off valves are as we covered them in an anti terrorism course. The building schematics have been messed with though so I'm going to have to draw up some rough plans for you. Hopefully if we can cut off supply then we might get some more people to sober up and help us get everything back under control again. At least by shutting it down we won't be making the situation worse by having the entire population of NCIS three sheets to the wind. "

Tony muttered angrily to himself knowing that there was more crawling around in small, dark, rat filled places waiting for him in his future. When all this was over he was going to ….to….. take McGee somewhere very high and just leave him there for a while.

Jenny continued, dragging over plastic crates to act as a makeshift table.

"Gibbs, Abby you will come with me. There is a delivery of equipment that I believe McGee is after. We can use that as a lure and trap him when he comes to collect it. It's going to be tricky but I think with the three of us we can get McGee and then hopefully the rest of the building back under control.

Who's in?" Jenny raised her head and looked into the eyes of Gibbs' team.

Gibbs smirked and stuck his hand into the center. Abby yelped in delight and stuck her hand on top which was quickly followed by Tony, Ziva and finally Jenny.

"All right people lets do this"

Tony's eyes drifted to a small pair of leopard print woman's briefs hanging off the end of a broom handle. Well obviously this paint cupboard had seen its fair share of action from someone lately.

"Tony, Ziva this will need to be your map." Jenny started drawing a tiny and very detailed map out onto a sheet of blank paper.

"This is the elevator on the third floor, this square is the canteen, and this is the main entrance. So once you go down the rear stairs you will need to take a right….."

Tony sighed and tried to concentrate on Jenny's instructions. Oh yeah Probie was going somewhere _way_ up. Like the Himalayas.

_(Didn't expect to have another chapter up so soon but there you go. Hope you like. Please review and let me know even just that your reading. Thanks Precious)_


	18. Chapter 17

Tim's hard fist clenched and years of teasing and put downs put an extra sweet taste to the sensation of it connecting violently to Tony's jaw.

Tony looked up in surprise and alarm as he staggered back only to receive a quick hard punch to the stomach which dropped him to his knees.

"Probie?" Tony gasped, his eyes round and pain filled as he looked around the empty hallway where Tim's body blocked off any chance of escape.

Tim snarled. He hated that name. He had asked Tony not to use it and yet over and over and over again. Probie? Probie! Get that equipment Probie. Gas the truck Probie. Make me look good Probie.

This time Tony threw his hands up in defense and tried to block the punch as Tim's fist once again connected with Tony's face. Tony looked up, angry now a trickle of blood dripping from his nose and then he suddenly launched himself at Tim slamming into his midriff and tumbling them both to the floor.

Wrestling. Excellent. This was Tim's preferred fighting style anyway. Scrappy and scrabbling Tony found it difficult to use any of his training effectively as the two men attempted to inflict physical harm on the other. One for revenge and the other in an effort to simply get away.

Tim pinned Tony to the floor, sitting on his chest and slammed his pretty head into the hard floor repeatedly and watched Tony's eyes grow from angry to fearful to pained to……

SLAM

Yes the new angry voice threw itself again into the side of its metal biscuit tin prison. He could use these emotions. Once he was free he could use the geeks residual resentment against his team to help get him out of here and wreak some real honest to goodness havoc on the real world. What was the point of have extra strength, speed and cognitive skills if they were wasted fiddling around trying to fulfill some adolescent desire to be popular.

If Timothy McGee could have the best party he would know what it was like for the first time in his life to be really popular.

With his adult and sensible personality in a similar captivity to the violent virus induced one what was left of Timothy McGee was reduced to simple desires. To have friends, to be happy, to have fun and to share that with as many people as possible.

Revolting. The angry voice searched through Tim's mind looking for information it could use to manipulate it owner.

SLAM

Yes. Here we are. Tim trusted Gibbs. Trusted him enough he hacked into the CIA for Gibbs own personal purposes. Yes Gibbs didn't really care if he got in trouble for it. No he was just using his skills and when he needed to be rid of Tim he could simply places charges on him. Or even black mail him to hack into other systems.

Real friends didn't ask others to put themselves and their hard won careers at risk this way. Gibbs was just using him and secretly he sneered at Tim behind his back.

SLAM

Ziva. Now Tim reached out for her and made her feel welcome to the team when no ones else would. And what was his reward? Endless flirting with Tony. Watching the beauty ignoring him as she watched another. When Tim shot Benedict Ziva didn't believe he had heard a shot even though when Ziva was under suspicion and in hiding herself after being framed Tim had never for an instant considered Ziva to be guilty.

The voice smiled. Yes there was enough resentment there that he could twist it around until his reasoning seemed flawed.

SLAM

And when he finally managed to get out of this prison where he had been banished and roam free through Tim's mind again he was going to have some real fun. He would show the team just what sort of damage Timothy McGee could really do.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Tim shuddered and felt a little queasy before the moment passed. He stood and braced himself against the wall and just stood still for an instant, blinking through the sensation.

What was that?

There had been an instant where he had felt full of rage and bitter disappointment and it had been of such violence that his stomach had twisted up and he burned with heat.

And then it had gone again and left Tim feeling a bit dizzy and overwhelmingly sad about something. Tim stood for a moment, wiped the sweat from his brow and then shook it off.

Strange.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Tony paused in his muttering and complaining to Ziva as he pulled years worth of cobwebs off his face and stood still as he suddenly felt very anxious about something.

Something was wrong. Gibbs was always telling his team to trust their gut and Tony's gut was telling him something was wrong. Tony frowned at himself and his gut for its lateness. Something had been seriously wrong for hours now and it was strange that his gut was only picking up on it now.

Maybe he was just hungry? Perhaps he should have taken that chocolate bar that stupid stupid Probie had offered him back at the vending machine.

Tony cursed again and continued to clamber through the maintenance shaft trying to get to the main water valve shut off.

Damn he felt like Indian Jones down here. He was going to have a serious word to whoever was supposed to maintain this stuff when this was all over.

And if he saw so much as one little rat he was out of there! He didn't even care if Ziva heard him squeal like a little girl.

Tony frowned and watched Ziva duck elegantly and freakishly low under another cobweb. No wonder she was still so clean. Tony swiped furiously at the cobweb with one hand and shuddered as he wiped it off onto his trousers before returning to his favorite contemplation of all the things he was going to do to McGee as punishment when this was over.

Cobwebs. Oh yeah they were definitely being added to the list. Something with cobwebs.

_(Da da Dahhhhh Oh I know this chapter is a little different but I needed to do it ...well for some other stuff to work down the track. Still I hope it was interesting and we will return to amusing in the next chapter. Thanks Precious)_


	19. Chapter 18

"Timothyeeeee" Abby called out in a sing song voice "Where are you McGeeeee"

Abby was looping around away from Gibbs and the Director trying to be distracting and help throw McGee off the scent. It would be much harder for him to keep on eye on several smaller groups roaming around Headquarters than one larger group. Tony and Ziva should be nearly finished with their task of shutting down the water supplies and then they were going to join up with Gibbs and try and capture McGee once and for all.

The speakers once again provided an answer

_Halfway down the stairs is a stair where I sit.  
There isn't any other stair quite like it.  
I'm not at the bottom, I'm not at the top.  
So this is the stair where I always stop._

Halfway up the stairs isn't up and isn't down.  
It isn't in the nursery, it isn't in the town.  
And all sorts of funny thoughts run round my head.  
It isn't really anywhere, it's somewhere else instead.

Tim giggled at the end and Abby smiled affectionately at her friend, even though he probably couldn't see her.

"Aww that is cute McGee. The Muppets. I always loved the Muppets. So are you in a stairwell somewhere? Ms Piggy I always thought she was great with her karate chop. HI YAH! Oh Oh and the Swedish Chef…I mean my favorite was of course Beaker. He had the cutest little Meep Meep and it normally wasn't his fault he got blown up…you just know I'm going to love all those foaming glass tests tubes and things. What was the name of the guy with the dynamite who kept sneaking in and blowing things up? Maybe he could be Fornell? That would be so funny. Cause you know every time you see Fornell something's gone wrong."

Abby chatted away happily and loudly to her friend so he could hear that she was heading in the direction AWAY from the gym.

"Ok so Ziva …you wouldn't want to mess with her when she's mad and she's pretty so she could be Miss Piggy. Tony could be Fozzie Bear cause he's always trying to grab attention. Maybe Palmer could be like Gonzo because he sort of tries so hard to fit in?"

Abby skipped down the hallway her pigtails bouncing as she considered the biggest question of all.

"So McGee, if Gibbs was a Muppet who do you think he would be?"

****************************************************************

_I study nuclear science  
I love my classes  
I got a crazy teacher, he wears dark glasses  
Things are going great, and they're only getting better  
I'm doing all right, getting good grades  
The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades,  
I gotta wear shades_

Well I'm heavenly blessed and worldly wise  
I'm a peeping-tom techie with x-ray eyes  
Things are going great, and they're only getting better  
I'm doing all right, getting good grades  
The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades  
I gotta wear shades

'Trevor' smiled and clutched defensively at his clipboard as he escorted the marines, now pushing large transport trolleys full of water bottles across to the gym.

"Well thank you so much for your help. I was wondering if you would like to join the rest of us since you are essentially stuck here as well until the security breach is sorted out?"

"Join you for what?" Richard boomed out striding ahead of his men, his boots making a perfectly rhythmical clack against the hard floor.

Trevor glanced at the men trailing behind them and pushed his glasses up his nose again before replying timidly.

"Oh well the Director….lovely woman….. has allowed us to arrange a little get together since we may be stuck here for some time. So we are having a little party in the gym. Would you care to join us?"

Malcolm made a disparaging sound behind them as he pushed the trolley closest to them.

"A little admin get to together? Please. A couple of people standing around listening to the radio and talking about their last tax return? I would rather wait it out in the Evidence Garage."

Trevor pouted "Oh I'm sorry to hear about that. I was hoping you could help me out with a few things. Personally I think its going to be a real blast and everyone is going to be there."

They had finally reached the large double doors to the gym and Trevor turned to the squad and smiled as he pushed the doors open "Well if you change your mind……."

"Holy Shit!" Richards jaw dropped as he stared into the gym and the wild surging heaving crowd.

_I said Its gettin hot in here so hot  
So take off all your clothes_

I am gettin so hot, I wanna take my clothes off

_I was like, good gracious ass bodacious  
Flirtatcious, tryin to show faces  
Lookin for the right time to flash them G's  
Then um I'm leavin, please believin  
Me and the rest of my heathens  
Check it, got it locked at the top of the four seasons  
Penthouse, roof top, birds I feedin  
No deceivin, nothin up my sleeve, no teasin  
I need you to get up up on the dance floor  
Give that man what he askin for_

_*******************************************************************_

Cynthia stood and waited right where the Director had told her too. First it was get this Cynthia, then it was why the hell did you do that Cynthia, followed by you might save us all yet Cynthia.

She sighed. No one was telling her what was going on and there was definitely something up. She seriously could do with a raise and a silk scarf just wasn't going to cut it. She hoped the Director came soon as she was getting really thirsty and she had barely eaten all day. Could she afford to sneak off for a moment to get a drink? What if she didn't go far? Perhaps even just some tap water?_  
_

*****************************************************************

Dr Jacobs glared at her phone again as it refused to put her through to Director Sheppard. She had been the last person allowed out of the gates before the shut down had been authorized. Her first priority once it become clear that Agent McGee had in fact been exposed to the FIG JAM virus had been to get back to OPTIPLEX as fast as possible and get her teams briefed.

Initially she had been almost euphoric as she considered the leap into human trials and the year's maybe even decades of work that she could save if she could study and analyze Agent McGee's physiology and behaviors.

But as the hours wore on and she collected scattered bits of information she became increasingly concerned about exactly what horrors might be taking place within the sealed compound.

Now it seemed that even phone communications were down and no one could tell her quite what was going on at NCIS headquarters. Information had gone from 'Don't worry Dr Jacobs we will keep you posted' to 'Classified' in a fairly sort space of time.

Dr Jacobs looked around at her precious team as they scrambled to turn until recently theoretical data into the actual by synthesizing an anti virus.

They alone knew the damage a synthetic fearless and uninhibited hero could do without a strong moral compass to control its rampant and most basic desires.

Dr Jacobs bit her lip and thought of the pleasant young man she had met briefly in the forensics lab who had gallantly assisted a stranger and ended up becoming an unwitting drug mule.

Pity. He seemed like such a nice boy.

With her decision made Dr Jacobs sighed and called across the secondary team.

"I need you to investigate methods of subjugation and capture of the test subject, in case the primary team are unable to create the anti virus in time. Now we don't know his strength or the full extent of his abilities so consider everything from the worst case scenarios. He is trained as a field agent and is already highly intelligent and is familiar with the building so I need you to consider him extremely dangerous. I need you to look at types of physical restraints, transport, and tazers, everything right up to elephant tranquilizers if you have to."

Dr Jacobs looked around at her team hoping that they understood the situation.

"I know this is a little out of our league but right now we are the only ones who understand this virus and what it can do so we need to be ready if and when the call comes. We might be in the front line directly or we may be asked in to advise the military depending on how out of hand everything gets. Either way we need to have considered every scenario and try and anticipate how he is going to react."

She was about to send them off to their task when a new thought occurred to her.

"Oh and I would prefer that we capture him alive"

(

(Do please review..and let me know what Muppet you think Gibbs might be. I'll try for faster updates but work is chaos at the moment but I am trying! Precious Oh and thanks for reading)


	20. Chapter 19

_(Sorry its been a while, real life attacked but I will keep at it. It is a quite long chapter for you though. Please review and let me know that you're still interested. Enjoy. Precious)_

_  
Get this party started,  
on a saturday night,  
everybody's waiting for me to arrive  
Sending out the message to all of my friends_

_I'm coming up so you better get this party started  
I'm coming up so you better get this party started_

Tim stepped into the gym and proudly displayed his startling creation. The sight that met the Marine Squads eyes was not the quiet, calm and boring office gathering they had been expecting. Instead it appeared that the entire base had gone wild and packed themselves into the gym and it was a riot of sound, color and movement.

The crowd surged and danced wildly with several greetings being thrown towards the stunned marines standing in the open doorway. Less is more seemed to be the fashion of the hour as most of the crowd appeared to be cavorting shirtless or shoeless or wearing someone else's clothes entirely. The pulsing music appeared to be coming from several directions at once and slowly increasing in volume to the crowds delight.

The reserved creativity and dynamic talent of hundreds of navy administrators and agents had been set loose onto a blank canvas. It looked like private offices and meeting rooms had been ransacked for anything that might contribute to the general festival nature of the party. With Christmas tree lights strung across the ceiling, portable location floodlights lit up with brightly colored cellophane and bunches of inflated latex gloves being used as balloons it had a slightly manic feel like a cross between a block party and a rummage sale.

A sterilized autopsy trolley was being used as a portable bar and was being wheeled around full of glasses of alcohol and what appeared to be the preferred drink of the day, water. Rolls of toilet paper flew through the air over the crowd like long trailing streamers as supply cupboards were stripped bare and a massive laminated WELCOME banner had been produced by the generally unwelcoming Accounts Receivable Department.

It seemed that everyone had been getting into the swing of the impromptu party with the uber geeks of the sub basement wiring together several plasma screens to create a giant wall screen showing a collage of music videos and cartoons. A bonfire had been lit in a far corner using stationary request forms and budget cut back proposals around which marshmallows were being burnt and eaten with sticky fingered joy.

Scaffolding had been sourced, dragged in and carefully erected at one end of the large gym creating a stage which appeared to be in use for a very popular wet t shirt competition……for men. Women hooted and hollered as once sedate male co workers pranced dripping wet across the stage before being judged by the screams of applause. Mr Blankey who stopped halfway across the stage in order to strip his shirt off completely, flash his significantly sized man boobs and then whirled his shirt off into the crowd appeared to have the audiences vote so far.

Richards turned to Trevor with a questioning doubtful eye.

"Are you sure this is all sanctioned by your Director?"

Tim nodded enthusiastically "Oh yes. I was even asked to get some volunteers together in order to construct the stage. Doesn't pay to have people idle, only causes mischief. Don't worry its just high spirits from being cooped up for too long. It has been a long evening and unfortunately with the security lock down most people should have gone home to their family's hours ago. There are some activities being organized for later to keep people busy…"

"Activities?" Malcolm peered past his commanding officer eagerly as several attractive women appeared to be trying to teach the Hucklebuck, the Twist and the Hokey poky simultaneously to whoever was willing to listen.

"All right then….."

_I'm coming up so you better get this party started  
I'm coming up so you better get this party startedMaking my connection as I enter the room  
everybody is chillin'  
as I set up the groove  
Pumpin up the volume  
with this brand new beat  
everybody's dancin'  
and they're dancin' for me  
I'm the operator  
you can call anytime  
I'll be your connection to  
the party line_

Tim smiled obligingly as the Marines pushed their fully loaded trolleys of water into the gym to resounding applause and gradually were absorbed into the delighted crowd.

Finally he could get rid of this revolting disguise and return to his former magnificence. Tim ditched his lab coat and clipboard and started smoothing his hair back into its pre destined position. He grinned as one of his 'teams' of eager helpers raised a lighting tower up beside the stage. Truly this was a magnificent party and everyone was having a fantastic time. And it was all thanks to him.

*****************************************************************

"This sucks" Tony moaned as he stood with Gibbs, Ziva and the Director and looked out over the massive crowd.

Gibbs simply stared. He hadn't anticipated a scene like this. It was like…like….

"It's like Tim Burton meets High School Musical" Tony said wonderingly

"What?" Ziva responded with a frown

"Oh come on Ziva…you know Tim Burton, kind of crazy stylized Director? He did Beetlejuice, Edward Sissorhands, The Corpse Bride, Sweeny Todd…and High School Musical …..well even you must have heard of that.."

"Shut up Tony"

Jenny grit her teeth as she surveyed her empire run riot. Damn that McGee. It just kept getting bigger and bigger.

"Look the plan remains the same we capture McGee when he comes to collect the delivery and then we….quarantine all these people…get rid of that bloody water and then wait for them to sober up"

"And if they don't sober up Director?" Gibbs asked her with a grim look as a conga line suddenly formed up in front of them and started weaving through the crowd. Gibbs hated Conga lines. He always hurt his back.

"We call in the Marines"

The Director was abrupt but any bite to her words was ruined as Tony started singing and clicking his fingers to the beat of the music now pounding out over the heaving crowd.

"Oh I love this song…Nelly….Its getting hot in here so take off all your clothes…"

"Tony? Is that an offer?" Ziva smirked

_Oh stop pacin', time wastin'  
I got a friend wit' a boat in his basement  
I'm just kiddin' like Jason  
Unless ya gonna do it_

"Oh oh Gibbs! That's you! Nelly is singing about you! You're the only guy I know with a boat in his basement.

_Extra, extra, spread the news  
Check it Nelly took a trip from the Lou to the Neptunes  
Came back wit' somethin' thicker than fittin' in Sassoons  
Say she's got a thing about cuttin' in restrooms_

"Restrooms? Ok that seriously has to be you Ziva. You're always coming into the mensroom anyway." Tony laughed gleefully only to receive a sharp headslap from Gibbs.

"Tony! This is serious. Now stop singing…if that's what that awful sound is and I don't even want to see you bob your head right now let alone dancing got it?"

"Right Boss. No dancing." Tony returned to his serious Senior Agent face and waited a moment before whispering under his breath

"It's getting hot in here …so take off all your clothes…"

"TONY!"

"Sorry Boss"

**************************************************************************************************************************************************

Tim smiled joyfully. Oh at last. He had been waiting. He knew they would turn up. Its just wouldn't be a party without his friends there. He was awash in good fortune and felt almost giddy with happiness. Perhaps he could convince Abby and Ziva to dance? Maybe have a drink of water with him? Of course he could he was simply the MOST amazingly beautiful and fantastic man in the room……strike that the PLANET. Of course they would have a drink with him. And then who knows? Perhaps the three of them could find a secluded alcove somewhere and he could show them just how silky smooth FemmeGlow really kept his skin?

Tim sauntered over through the crowd to welcome his guests as a good host should with a dirty eyed smirk that would make Tony proud. Abby he had seen dance before confident and wild in the clubs but Ziva? He was sure she would make an excellent dancer with her swiveling hips and sensuous moves, her hair tumbling loose over her shoulders. Tim licked his lips and advanced on the tight knit group.

"Ok so you know the plan? Ziva you ready?"

"Of course Gibbs"

"Tranquilizers? Handcuffs?"

Ziva huffed "Of course I have them. What do you think I was planning on doing? Walking up to him and giving him a big kiss and saying Follow me Big Boy?"

Gibbs frowned and Ziva remembered how McGee had already escaped her clutches once before due to a kiss. Tony looked thoughtful.

"You know of all the stuff we discussed I actually think that one might just work. He is all horny crazy wired now anyway and he really wanted you to kiss him down in autopsy when this first started so you could just…."

"Tony!"

"What Boss?"

"I'm not having the plan reduced to Ziva coming on to McGee. Surely we can do better than that? Now have you got the Taser?"

"Yup all ready and charged. I can't believe I'm going to be electrocuting Probilicious. He hates these things. Remember when he got zapped by that mysterious courier girl?

"Oh yeah. That really hurt" Tim replied

"Yeah poor McGee just isn't a Hawaiian shirt guy. I wouldn't have believed it possible but he looked an even greater dork in that shirt than normal."

"Why are you going to taser me Tony?" Tim interrupted the reminiscing with a frown. It was a PARTY. People were supposed to be having fun not going around tasering people. Although there might be a small part of the population who might be into that sort of thing he just wasn't one of them.

"ahhhhhh MCGEE?" Tony looked around wildly as he realized who had joined the conversation.

"What are you doing here McGee?" Jenny frowned with her hands on her hips. This really wasn't going to plan.

Tim looked a bit confused "What am I doing here? Well I'm having a party obviously. It took you guys enough time to get here. I had to get others to help me set up. Did you get your invitations?"

"Invitations?" Abby popped her head into the circle as she returned from her wanderings.

Tim looked slightly crestfallen. "I did these great invitations for each of you. Abby I used origami and folded yours into a bat. Tony I printed yours on the back of a postcard with a nude woman sunbathing and Gibbs I…"

Gibbs sighed. So much for the big almighty threat.

"McGee? Sorry no we didn't get your invitations. We have been ….busy"

"Oh but I put them right on your desk where you could see them."

"Maybe later when we go back we will see them yes?" Ziva patted McGee's arm consolingly and he brightened.

"Well yes I suppose so. Well at least you're all here. I mean you guys work so hard. I wanted to make sure you had some fun too. In fact I'm insisting on it. Even you Director."

"Sorry McGee but I'm afraid we are going to have to rain on your parade. You are going to need to come with us. For your own safety. We need to get your medical attention."

Gibbs was firm and looked his errant agent directly in the eye.

"Oh no you won't be doing that" Tim said confidently looking around the group with a smile.

Jenny tried to stay calm and not grab him by his immaculate jacket and shake some sense into him.

"Oh yes you will McGee that's a direct order"

"Sorry Director but I really do insist on you all joining me at this party. It's going to be lots of fun. Great music, some dancing, you know a chance to really let your hair down. Tony I even ordered like a thousands pizzas for later and I made sure they had your favorite."

"Uhhhh Thanks McGee" Tony said hesitantly while Tim continued to smile and nod happily to himself as the team tried to assess just what sort of threat he was presenting.

Jenny looked at McGee and at the others and suddenly felt a cold sense of dread. It just wasn't right. He was so confident they wouldn't take him. Why? Was there logic to all this or was he simply so far gone now that all reasoning escaped him?

Jenny looked around at the little group now surrounding McGee armed to the teeth with a variety of weapons. Even Abby seemed to have picked up a medieval mace from somewhere and was struggling to hold the heavy weapon in her hands. They were all here, all here except…….

Jenny suddenly gasped as she realized the one person who should have been here to meet them and wasn't.

"Where is Cynthia McGee?"

Tim just continued to smile "Oh I REALLY think you should take the time to join me Director."

_Well she's all you'd ever want,  
She's the kind they'd like to flaunt and take to dinner.  
Well she always knows her place.  
She's got style, she's got grace, She's a winner.  
She's a Lady. Whoa whoa whoa, She's a Lady.  
Talkin' about that little lady, and the lady is mine._


	21. Chapter 20

Chapter twenty

_You're__ as cold as ice__, you're __willing to sacrifice__ our love  
You never take advice, someday you'll pay the price, I know_

"McGee! What have you done with Cynthia?" Jenny was furious. Cynthia was her assistant but she was also her friend. How dare he use her as leverage?

Tim frowned and rolled his eyes a bit frustrated. All he wanted was for everyone to have a good time and they just kept hassling him. They were either chasing him or trying to taser him or lock him up. And now it was where's Cynthia? What about a friendly yeah Tim good work on pulling this all together. You're a genius. Now would that have been too hard?

If only they had allowed themselves to let their hair down and enjoy the party like everyone else then he wouldn't have had to take Cynthia hostage. Poor Cynthia. She wouldn't be able to enjoy the party either now. He would have to find a way to make it up to her. Although that would be hard as it was a pretty fantastic party.

Shesh these people _really _didn't know how to have a good time. Hello?

"Cynthia is fine. Nice and secure where you wouldn't think to look for her. She will be perfectly safe until I go get her in a couple of hours. Now who wants to come dance with me?"

Tim grinned and held out his hands as the rest of the team stared at him

*******************************************************************

"Hello? Hello? Anyone please? I need to get out! It's cold in here."

Cynthia shivered and banged again on the inside of the metal door trying to stop herself from having a full blown panic attack. When she had first come around with a lump on her head she had opened her eyes to pitch blackness and no idea where she was. It was only by touch that she identified her small and effective cage.

Cold smooth metal.

She was on a tray that moved slightly and there was absolutely no handle or anything on the inside. Why would there be? She realized she was shut inside one of the autopsy drawers. Seriously it was starting to creep her out. Dead bodies were stored in here. She tried not to think about it and was very unsuccessful. Still at least whoever had knocked her out and stuck her in here had given her a thick warm blanket. Perhaps they didn't want to kill her just scare her?

Well they were succeeding.

"Please? Anyone? Hello? I need someone to let me out"

This really was a very strange day. She was definitely going to speak to the Director about getting a raise after this.

*******************************************************************

Tim spoke slowly as if his friends had suddenly turned into babbling idiots.

"It's really very simple. I just want you to have some fun. Come and dance. Just one dance even and then I will give you a clue where Cynthia is. I wouldn't recommend trying to rush me or getting me to come unwillingly as Cynthia shall we say is on the clock oxygen wise so I think this is by far the easiest way. Come on one little dance wont kill you?"

Tim batted his puppy dog eyes and Abby automatically put down her mace and smiled at him.

"One dance?" Gibbs' eyes narrowed as he tried to asses his once most trustworthy agent. One who was currently so twisted as to be holding a woman captive in order to force his friends to 'have fun' with him.

"One dance. On stage." Tim confirmed with a grin.

"On stage?" Tony squeaked then he cleared his throat and in a far more manly fashion replied "Up on that stage? In front of that screaming mob?"

"Come on it will be fun. Hum lets see for Tony …….what would be a good song? Maybe I'm too sexy? Or perhaps Like a Virgin would be more appropriate?"

Tim grinned and enjoyed watching Tony squirm. Tony was a good dancer. Or should he say Tony _told_ them all how good a dancer he was.

"Very funny Probie"

"Maybe for Gibbs…….I could get them to put on the Hustle? More your era Jethro what do you think?"

Gibbs glared at McGee and tried to think of Cynthia held captive somewhere as he ground his teeth. The Hustle really? Was that what his team thought of him? He could do a perfectly decent Robot when he was so inclined. Not that he would tell any of them that.

"Fine if we do this then you will not only tell us where Cynthia is but you will release her. Immediately."

Tim smiled. Finally he was getting somewhere. Negotiations had begun.

"On stage?" Tim confirmed suspiciously

"On stage. One dance" Gibbs nodded

"One dance each?" Tim grinned as he imagined making Ziva dance to something from Flashdance or maybe even Dirty Dancing? He would be Patrick Swayze of course.

Gibbs adamantly shook his head.

"No. One dance total"

Tim frowned. Now that wasn't as fun as making Tony do the Macarena. Still?

"Do I get to pick the song?"

Gibbs paused and considered. Cynthia. One dance…in front of the entire base…who were so far gone they probably wouldn't remember it anyway. Cynthia. Watching Tony disgrace himself if he was left on his own.

"You get to pick the song but we are in it together. I won't leave any of them behind. It's a marine thing."

Tim nodded and stuck out his hand and they shook on it.

*******************************************************************

Ducky groaned and grabbed his head which was banging in an appalling manner.

_Bang bang_. In fact it seemed to be talking to him too. _Hello Anyone_?

Ducky attempted to sit upright on the small couch in his office and the room swayed widely as he adjusted. That might not have been a good idea. Oh dear it had been years since he had had a hangover this bad. Whatever had he been thinking trying to out drink a man decades younger, physically larger and under the influence of an unknown virus?

_Bang Bang_

My my his head really was pounding.

It seemed to be quite metallic in sound though which was surprising as Ducky was fairly sure that his head should make a slightly squishier sounding bang.

Interesting.

Then again there had been that case where the body was shot full of mercury. Well he felt dreadful enough to be full of a heavy metal.

_Bang bang_

Ducky blinked and tried to consider that the sound was actually coming from somewhere outside his head.

"Hello?" Ducky peered into Autopsy only to find it completely empty. Maybe Palmer was up to his old disappearing tricks again.

"Ducky?" came a muffled voice from nowhere.

Ducky stood in the middle of the empty cold white room swaying slightly and wondering if all his old nightmares had actually come back to haunt him.

He was hearing voices. Or perhaps he wasn't actually awake? Perhaps he was dreaming that he was awake hearing voices?

Ducky blearily considered this conundrum for a moment.

"If you are imaginary then you are in my head and you would know my middle name. If you are real well then I would ask you to make yourself visible to me at once."

"Umm I don't know your middle name and I'm inside one of the drawers Ducky. Please please let me out!" Came a faintly pleading voice.

Ducky hurried over to the metal cabinets and started pulling open the doors.

"Cynthia! Are you alright my dear? What on earth where you doing in there?"

"Someone put me in there. Oh I must find the Director. She will be worried if she can't find me"

"Come my dear it's been a while since I rescued a damsel in distress but I still think I have the hang of it. Come my dear girl lets go find the others. By the way that _was _you making that banging sound earlier wasn't it?"

*******************************************************************

"So McGee what's it going to be?" Gibbs asked a few minutes later.

"McGee!"

"Oh sorry I wasn't concentrating….." Tim apologized both to Gibbs and Sandra and Brenda? Belinda? Bertha? B something anyway.

Tony stared and simultaneously tried to avert his eyes as McGee was dirty dancing with a women wrapped around him both front and back. What was most disturbing was he was pretty good at it. It must be the drug because probie really shouldn't be moving like that. There was far too much thrusting going on. It was making Tony nervous.

"Ok since Tony is always hassling me about being gay I thought I would give you a gay anthem to dance too."

"What? It's raining men?" Tony asked hesitantly. That was a song he would have trouble dancing convincingly to. Well he had in the past but that was an incident that would best stay in the closet so to speak.

Tim grinned "Nope. YMCA by the Village People"

Abby clapped her hands. "Oh good one Timmy."

Gibbs sighed. Well it could have been worse. McGee might have wanted him to wear those leather chaps and things to go with it.

Cynthia. He was doing this for Cynthia. She better let him in the Directors door without hassling him at least a dozen times for this.

Thinking of the Director Gibbs looked across to where she was standing giving McGee looks which had been known to kill lesser men.

"Well Jen? What letter do you want to be?"

Abby butted in and started pushing people and arranging them into a line.

"She won't be any letter. There are five of us and four letters so she will have to be our choreographer or something. Cheerleader maybe?"

"Abby? What are you doing?" Gibbs grumbled as the girl bodily pushed him out of the way.

"Well hello? Abby. I have to be the A. That puts me at the end and we really should go boy/girl boy/ girl so that means that Gibbs is the Y, Ziva is the M and Tony is the C"

Gibbs was about to open his mouth when Abby's enthusiasm cut him off.

"Oh don't worry Gibbs you got the easy one. Y you just stand with your hands in the air."

Ziva frowned and was considering various contortions in her mind as she experimentally bent over stretching trying to consider the best 'M' shape.

Tony's eyes lingered on her ass as she commented "Exactly how do I make an M? Tony! Stop checking out my ass!"

Tony immediately flicked his eyes center "I wasn't Ziva. I was simply considering if I want to be the Indian or the Construction worker. I kind of had it picked that Gibbs would be the cop."

Tim grinned "Well you better start practicing as I will be going up to announce you. I will also be filming your performance and the crowd will be judging your performance so don't be lack luster. They are rather brutal. The last lot that sucked got dragged off the stage and hasn't been seen since. Oh and they throw stuff if they hate you too so I would recommend being pretty good."

Jenny shook her head as Tim disappeared up the stairs on the side of the stage. Great. What was she Paula Abdul or something? So she had Gibbs, Ziva, Tony and Abby dancing to the Village People. Marvelous. Could she even get them to point in the same direction?

_Young man, there's no need to feel down.  
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.  
I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town  
There's no need to be unhappy._

Young man, there's a place you can go.  
I said, young man, when you're short on your dough.  
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find  
Many ways to have a good time.

It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.  
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

They have everything for you men to enjoy,  
You can hang out with all the boys ...

It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.  
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

"Yoh Yoh All my Peeps!" Tim strolled out on stage with a microphone in his hand and the surging intoxicated crowd went wild.

"Give me a T"

"T!" The crowd screamed back to its creator

"Give me an I"

"I"

"And finally give me an M"

"M"

"TIM TIM TIM TIM "The crowd chanted and Tim standing center stage threw back his arms and wallowed in their adoration. His adrenaline surged and he felt fantastic. This was what it had all been about. Thousands of adoring fans at his feet and following his every move. First the base. Next stop the world!

"Oh yeah I have a special treat for you tonight! A special performance by TEAM GIBBS. Give them a huge round of applause Party People!"

*******************************************************************

"Oh Gibbs! Gibbs!" Ducky jumped and waived and tried to work his way through the thick crowd as he tugged on Cynthia's hand.

"I don't think they can see us Ducky? What are they doing anyway?"

"Oh dear. I don't think this is going to end well. Come on my dear. We need to hurry"

_(All I have to say is forgive me? Village People? Gibbs doing the Robot? I am sober I swear. Please let me know if your still reading and enjoying. And a finale is coming in fact Im thinking the next chapter is going to have some Pup)_


	22. Chapter 21

Gibbs turned as a small voice called his name repeatedly over the loud music and cat calls.

"Gibbs Look! It's Ducky. Oh and he's got Cynthia with him" Abby grinned and waived back at the small medical examiner who was almost swamped in the crowd.

"Oh thank God" Jenny sighed a deep sigh of relief as Gibbs eyes gleamed and fell on his Senior Agent who was standing limbering up for their upcoming dance number right next to the stage.

"Get him Tony!"

Tony grinned back "Yes Boss. With pleasure!"

The crowd screamed as Tony dashed onto center stage and confronted their party host. Tim turned slipping the microphone into his pocket and faced Tony balanced on the balls of his feet ready to run.

TIM! TIM! TIM! TIM! The crowd chanted eagerly waiting for their half time entertainment to begin. Hopefully there would be cheerleaders. Maybe an explosion?

Tony stood and attempted to judge which way his errant young team member was going to go. Left or right? Pretty much the only thing to the left of them was the soaring lights tower beside the stage. To the right were stairs that lead down into the surging dancing crowd.

Tony and Tim stared at each other circling slightly waiting for the slightest move. Tony grinned and prepared to go right. McGee hated heights and it was as good as a dead end so it would have to be the stairs.

Tony's eyes narrowed as Tim smiled mischievously at him. And bolted to the left.

Tony cursed at his misjudgment as Tim swiftly headed for the light tower. Damn Damn! The stupid virus! Tony mentally head slapped himself. It eliminated fears didn't it. This McGee wasn't afraid of heights or making a public spectacle of himself apparently.

Tony frowned for an instant as he found himself at the bottom of the scaffolding tower and looked up to see McGee rapidly scaling the construction. With a mutter and another curse Tony swung himself up and started in pursuit.

What the hell was McGee thinking? That he was King Kong or something? Didn't he know that ended badly? There wasn't a way down from here. Tony looked up and started climbing around the tower as fast as he could. He wanted to come in from the side rather than have McGee able to kick him loose from above.

Tony blinked as he looked up and found McGee calmly hanging off the side of the tower waiting for him. They were only about halfway up but it still seemed a hell of a long way down.

"Hey Tony" Tim smiled completely at ease hanging off the side of the scaffolding.

Tony licked his lips and looked around nervously "Hey yourself Probie. Want to come down with me"

"Not particularly. Happy just you know…hanging around"

Tony winced and then rolled his eyes at Tim.

"Really McGee I don't know why you don't just come with me. The others are waiting at the base of the tower to handcuff you and god knows what else so we can get you fixed up again. There isn't anyway you can escape from this tower. Not unless you can fly anyway. And surely even you with your whacked out brain realize you're not a superhero. So come with me like a good little Probie and we will get you some medical attention."

Tim's eyes narrowed and Tony realized he might have said the wrong thing.

"There is nothing wrong with me Tony. I feel fine. Better than I have ever felt in my whole life. They love me now. Don't you see?"

"McGee…..Tim what are you doing?' Tony watched worriedly as Tim worked himself into a standing position leaning out into thin air holding onto the scaffold with two hands.

TIM! TIM! TIM! TIM! TIM!

Tim smiled "You have been a good friend Tony….mostly. I promise to remember you. I'm going to go take over the world now. Ok? See you"

Tony gasped and stared frantically into Tim's eyes. He seemed completely genuine but there was something about them that wasn't the sweet gentle Timothy McGee he had come to know. The man that had become his friend.

"McGee. No! Don't you do it!" Tony clutched at Tim wildly trying to get a hold of his jacket or anything nearly loosing his own precarious balance in the process.

Tim smiled "See yah Tony."

And let go.

"McGee! No!" Tony screamed as he watched Tim fall backwards off the tower still smiling. Tony screwed up his eyes not wanting to be haunted by the image of McGee's shattered body as he hung panting and clinging to the tower.

The sound. He wouldn't be able to do anything about the sound of his body hitting the ground. That unforgettable solid splat that bodies made as they hit that last final inevitable object. Tony tried not to but his ears strained to hear the sound. The sound that would tell him it was over.

TIM! TIM! TIM! TIM!

"What?"

Tony wrenched open his eyes to see Tim supported by the arms of the surging crowd below. Tim was laughing his arms outstretched as his adoring public handed him hand over hand rapidly away from the tower.

Tony shook with…what? Anger, thankfulness? He didn't know whether to be angry or happy. The smug bastard was _crowd surfing_ his way out. Tony sucked in a deep breath and banged his head against the metal scaffolding.

"I swear to God Probie that when I get my hands on you I'm going to do something so dreadful to you….I haven't even thought of it yet!"

"That way!" Tim pointed laughing and the crowd roared and obliged jostling and bumping and bouncing him towards the back of the crowd.

******************************************************************

"McGee No!" Ziva screamed horror stuck as she watched her friend fall from the tower…..and get caught and thrown up again by the thousands of hands below him.

Ziva's eyes narrowed as she took in Gibbs's grim look and Abby who was shaking with her eyes screwed up. Right. This had gone on long enough. She was going to do this her way.

Ziva ran pushing her way to the end of the throng and then able to run more freely she ran quickly around the vast crowd listening for the cheers of the crowd indicating where McGee was.

Finally she could see him. He was being put onto his feet and he was thanking those around him and straitening his suit. His eyes were bright and he looked none the worse for wear after his adventures. Unlike the rest of them.

Panting she ran her hands through her thick hair so it tumbled loose down her shoulders, flicked a couple of buttons undone and licked her lips.

Tim still bubbling with adrenaline (he had _always_ wanted to try that but had never had the guts) turned and stopped as he watched Ziva approach.

There was something different about how she was walking. It was a predatory sway and her eyes were so smoky it felt like she was going burn a hole in his suit.

Tim found his mouth growing dry.

"What do you want Ziva? Don't try and stop me I don't want you to get hurt"

Tim was firm even as his eyes betrayed him by lingering on her far more exposed curves. It was a very thin (and rather dirty) shirt she was wearing. And very tight pants.

"Oh Tim….I don't want to stop you. I just wanted……..one……final….kiss ……goodbye"

Ziva smirked and peered up at him and he suddenly found her small hands running up his chest and clutching at his shirt. Damn she was fast. Tim was sure she was a good 10 meters away an instant ago. Wow she smelt good.

"uh….. ahem…yes…um…." Tim kicked himself as Ziva appeared to have discovered his archilies heel. All suaveness vanished and the super villain in his mind turned into an over heated pile of goo.

"Just…." Ziva opened her soft lips.

"One" Ziva stood on her tip toes leaning her body into his.

"Little" Ziva curled her hand up his neck and into his hair her voice dropping to a tiny breathy whisper.

"Kiss" With a whimper Tim felt Ziva's lips touch his and then slowly, softly she deepened the kiss as his head spun. And his butt hurt.

"Mumber murnbereva" Tim mumbled as a private fantasy of his came true. But why did his butt hurt?

That was strange but Tim didn't really pay much attention as he concentrated on the taste of Ziva and her soft mouth on his. Wow his head was really spinning but Ziva simply pulled him in closer gripping his wrists as she dragged the tip of her tongue……

Tim blinked as he found himself sagging against Ziva and sliding helplessly to the floor. He rolled his head and saw that his wrists were handcuffed. When had that happened?

"Ziva?"

Ziva almost felt sorry for him as he blinked up dazed and confused from the tranquilizer she had shoved deep into his buttock. Then again because of him she had had to scurry around in air conditioning vents behind Hairy Butt DiNozzo.

"Sorry Tim but I can't risk it. You're too strong and too unpredictable…"

Ziva stood with a sorrowful look on her face and Tim unhappily shook his head as he drooled.

Don't tazer me Zivaaa. I hate tazerssss. Evvvveryone always does thaaaat."

Ziva smiled and pulled out another large needle from her pocket. "Don't worry McGee I won't tazer you."

Tim nodded happily "Ok then"

Ziva smiled and knelt beside him straightening his hair which had fallen onto his forehead before leaning in and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"If you promise not to tell anyone……" Ziva leaned in closer and whispered "You are a very good kisser McGee"

Tim blinked at her dazed as Ziva plunged the second needle into his other buttock.

"Sweet dreams McGee"


	23. Chapter 22

_This ain't a song for  
the broken-hearted  
A silent prayer for  
faith-departed  
I ain't gonna be just a  
face in the crowd  
You're gonna hear my voice  
When I shout it out aloud_

It's my life  
If it's now or never  
And I ain't gonna live forever  
I just want to live while I'm alive  
My heart is like an open highway  
Like Frankie said  
I did it my way  
I just wanna live while I'm alive  
It's my life…….

Tim rattled his handcuffs and whined.

"But I'm hungry…….Please Abby Please? Tim pouted and batted his puppy dog eyes at her.

Abby tried not to buckle but she found it difficult as she watched her friend now hand cuffed and manacled to a table which had been bolted to the floor of Interrogation. It had been hours since any of them had had something to eat. And he looked so sad and remorseful. And cute.

Poor Timmy.

"Well McGee perhaps if you hadn't shut down the entire navy yard the powers that be might be a little more likely to toss you a bone."

Tony paced smirking at one end of the room never taking his eyes from the captive. McGee was too damn clever he needed to be watched constantly. There was no way this Senior Field Agent was going to be crawling through vents or cobwebs or appearing on U tube again anytime soon.

"Is this an interrogation? Are you going to take everything I say down?" Tim peered up at Abby curiously.

"Yes…well ..yes I think so. Tony?"

"Yes McGee we need you to tell us if you have done anything else hinky that we should know about. You haven't sent a virus to Interpol have you? Or poisoned the stationary cupboards with laughing gas? Booby trapped the gym lockers? Humm?"

Tony slammed his fists on the table and glared at Tim who looked amused before turning back to Abby.

"So if you are going to take _everything_ I say _down_…..Well then …….pants."

Abby gasped "McGee!"

Tim grinned and looked at her "So no chance then?"

Abby glared angrily at Tim. And to think she had been feeling sorry for him a moment ago.

****************************************************************

Gibbs tried to hide the smile on his face as he watched the remnants of his team through the glass. Well McGee was certainly proving to be interesting to say the least.

Gibbs glanced over his shoulder as Director Shepard slipped into the room.

"Hey Jen. How's everything going?"

Jenny sighed "As well as can be expected. Communications seem to be coming back on line. Although we haven't been able to figure out how to stop the music yet"

Gibbs smirked at Jenny "I had noticed"

"At the very least we have got rid of the continuous stream of porn that MTAC was showing, thank god. We are essentially under quarantine until it can all be figured out. Marines complete with Haz Mat suits have been sent in from Norfolk to help with the clean up. They are going through the building room by room and checking for …well anything suspicious. All that water has been dumped and everyone shut up in the gym seems to be sobering up. I have issued a statement refusing all resignations until they can be seen by a psychiatrist. It seems that some of the behavior going on has embarrassed more than a few of the staff. There might have to be some departmental re allocations after all this is over."

Gibbs gave her a comforting smile knowing that this would take months to settle down.

Jenny glared through the glass at the cause of all this work.

"And how is he?"

"So far? Hungry."

"That's it? No remorse? No regret?"

"Nope"

Jenny frowned "So no sign of our McGee yet then either. Otherwise he would be on his knees pleading for forgiveness."

Gibbs stared intently back through the glass looking for any sign of the old Timothy McGee in the man that was currently chained hand and foot and leering down Abby's top.

Nothing.

*******************************************************************

"Ahhh Ziva you join our little crew" Tony welcomed her into the room while Tim pulled a face at her.

"You tricked me! You kissed me and then drugged and handcuffed me Ziva! That's not very nice. I thought we were friends?" Tim seemed quite indignant and Ziva simply raised a perfect eyebrow at him.

"McGee don't you go getting cross at me. You kissed me and stole my hairpins and used it to escape from a locked room."

"Yeah! And you kissed me then handcuffed and DUCT taped me to my lab table. So you can't talk McGee" Abby jumped into the conversation.

"Really? I….I don't remember that…" Tim seemed genuinely confused and his friends watched as he seemed to pull back from them his voice soft.

****************************************************************

"So how on earth are we going to get McGee to take the trial antidote Doctor Jacobs sent over? He seems quite convinced he is fine and doesn't want to go back to the way he was."

Ducky peered through the glass fascinated at the profile of the man he thought he knew. This would really make a most marvelous feature article. Just how much of what they had seen reflected the real 'inner' McGee and how much of it was really the result of the virus? Would any of them have been any worse in the same situation? A crazed Tony? A wild Abby? A desperate Ziva?

Ducky shuddered to think of the consequences.

Gibbs smiled "Already taken care of. He's going to eat it"

************************************************************

Tim pathetically rattled both his handcuffs again which secured his wrists to either side of the table "But I can't eat any unless you let me use my hands?"

Tony stood up from where he sat on the edge of the table.

"Oh no you don't. There is no way we are letting you out of those cuffs. You insisted on spaghetti so that's what you got. It's not our fault you won't be able to eat it without getting totally disgusting."

Tony smirked "You know I'm really looking forward to this. You know that greeting card that you can get with the little baby all covered in spaghetti? Well that's what McGee's going to look like."

Tim looked at the large bowl of spaghetti sadly. Oh how the mighty had fallen. He didn't want to get all disgusting no matter how hungry he was. He was too pretty. Besides he wouldn't put it past DiNozzo to take a photo of him all covered in spaghetti sauce with his phone.

And it smelt so good too.

Ziva sighed "Fine McGee here"

Tim grinned triumphantly at Tony as Ziva sat, tucked a napkin into his shirt and twisted the fork into the spaghetti.

"Now open wide"

Tim slurped up the pasta happily. Huh Tony might be good with the ladies but he just could never work the pity card like he could.

"Ziva! What the hell are you thinking? He's dangerous. I can't believe I'm saying this but he's really really dangerous." Tony threw up his hands in disgust at his team mate practically playing air planes with the super genius.

"Oh come on Tony. Dangerous yes. But I do not think he is going to somehow tear my arm off and beat me with it do you?" Ziva turned and gave him a wry look with a forkful of spaghetti ready while Tim grinned cheekily up at him.

Tony growled and gave McGee his best 'I'm watching you' face.

"If this turns into Lady and the Tramp I want nothing to do with either of you" Tony pouted and sat hunched on a chair at the end of the room glaring at McGee.

"Oh McGee! You have got pasta sauce all over your face. How is that even possible?"

Ziva leaned in and carefully wiped the sauce from the corners of Tim's mouth with her thumb. Tim smiled and caught her thumb with his mouth and seductively sucked the pasta sauce of it.

"Hum delicious"

"McGee! Stop that!" Ziva frowned. She had a suspicion that he had planned this the entire time.

Tim obediently opened his mouth for more spaghetti and tried to look innocent. Which wasn't hard. He had been practicing it his entire life. He was going to have a nice meal, a nap, maybe convince Abby to give him a shoulder rub (because the cuffs were hurting him of course) and then he was going to escape. Again.

Really this was all just too easy.

Tim blinked as his stomach protested with an agonizing grumble.

"I….I don't feel too great."


	24. Chapter 23

Tim screamed and tried to wrench himself away from the table he was handcuffed to clutching at his head. Something was wrong. Agony sliced through him and he screamed while his team looked at him horrified.

"Leave him! Get back in here" Gibbs voice came over the speakers and Tony, Abby and Ziva hesitated briefly before returning to the Observation.

"You don't think it's a trick do you Gibbs?" Abby asked worriedly as McGee appeared to writhe in pain, straining the metal of the handcuffs as he tried to break free.

"No Abby. I don't think it is"

******************************************************************

The rock dropped over the final few millimeters falling away and finally the angry voice was able to push back the metal lid of its confining prison. It was free! Finally it was free to wreak havoc and destruction. The gentle geek could hold it captive in his subconscious no longer!

Once his personality was fully subjugated to its demands and his body completely within its control then finally its work could begin.

******************************************************************

_I was born to run,  
I was born to dream,  
The craziest boy you ever seen,  
I gotta do it my way,  
Or no way at all.__I'm even on knees  
Makin love to whoever I please,  
I gotta do it my way,  
Or no way at all._

And I was here to please,

And then you came around,  
Tried to tie me down,  
I was such a clown,  
You had to have it your way,  
Or no way at all.

Well I've had all I can take,  
I cant take it no more,  
I'm gonna pack my bags and fly......baby,  
Or no way at all.

So why don't you turn me lose,  
Turn me loose,  
Turn me loose,  
I gotta do it my way,  
Or no way at all.

Tim's head suddenly snapped up and his green eyes flashed angrily at those hidden behind the glass.

"Let me go! I have things I must do! I demand that you let me go!"

Tim flexed his muscles and the metal restraints groaned under the strain.

Tony stepped up beside Gibbs and studied the enraged figure behind the glass.

"Ah who the hell is that?"

Gibbs gave Tony a worried look. He should have known that Tony would pick it up straight away. The tone and timber of the voice was different. It was lower and harsher than Tim's gentle tenor and there was something almost vicious about the coiled power of Tim's body language.

"That is ….someone else. I don't know Tony but whoever that is it's not our Timothy McGee."

"Its also not pot smoking, prank playing, party throwing McGee either."

"No Tony I don't believe it is."

Gibbs watched through the glass. Is this who McGee had been trying to protect them from? Was the mischief he caused simply small fry compared to what he could have done?_  
_

Gibbs narrowed his eyes as Tim started screaming as if in pain and twisting and pulling at his restraints his eyes bulging.

"What's wrong with him Gibbs?" Ziva asked worriedly

"I don't know Ziva"

"Damn it looks like an exorcism" Tony watched alarmed as Tim's eyes glared angrily through the glass and he strained, buckled and twisted against an unknown assailant.

Tony had spent several hours considering what sort of revenge he was going to get on his Probie when they finally captured McGee but as he watched his team mate start to spit and froth at the mouth he decided that whatever McGee was going through was perhaps punishment enough.

McGee suddenly sagged loose against the table, dropping his head onto his arms and Abby sighed in relief. Perhaps the vaccine had taken effect and her Timmy would come back to them? The team watched in tense silence studying the immobile figure hoping for an end to the chaos.

"McGee? Are you ok?" Abby tentatively called through the speakers hoping for a response from the hunched figure.

With a snarl McGee raised his head and bared his teeth angrily at the glass, his big green eyes blazing with fury.

"Abby!" McGee hissed as if the very sound of her voice caused him pain.

Abby involuntarily stepped back from the stranger glaring at her from her friend's eyes. There was an ear splitting squeal and the music changed again pounding into the small room and the team clapped their hands over their ears.

_Sometimes I feel I've got to  
Run away I've got to  
Get away  
From the pain that you drive into the heart of me  
The love we share  
Seems to go nowhere  
And I've lost my light  
For I toss and turn I can't sleep at night_

Once I ran to you  
Now I'll run from you  
This tainted love you've given  
I give you all a boy could give you  
Take my tears and that's not nearly all  
Oh...tainted love  
Tainted love

Now I know I've got to  
Run away I've got to  
Get away  
You don't really want IT any more from me  
To make things right  
You need someone to hold you tight  
And you'LL think love is to pray  
But I'm sorry I don't pray that way

Don't touch me please  
I cannot stand the way you tease  
I love you though you hurt me so  
Now I'm going to pack my things and go  
Tainted love, tainted love

Abby gasped and shook her head sadly at Tim through the glass. She had her hand up covering her mouth and tears started to well up in her eyes.

"Oh Tim. No. You don't really think about us like that do you? That what we had was …tainted? That I gave you nothing but pain?"

Abby turned to look up at Tony her big green eyes anguished "It wasn't like that really Tony. He's my friend. I still care for him so much."

Tony pulled Abby into a hug "It's not really McGee talking in there Abby you have to know that. He's hurting and whatever is going on in that head of his he's lashing out. He would never hurt you like that."

Suddenly McGee bucked again and he strained back from the table the cords in his neck standing out from the tension.

"No! Don't you hurt…" With a scream he slammed his head down hard onto the table with a sharp crack. Blood started trickling down the cut on the side of his forehead as his eyes glazed over.

"No! Stop right there" Gibbs turned and halted his team who had started for the door wanting nothing more than to somehow help their friend.

Gibbs turned and watched the glass and for an instant the eyes cleared and NCIS Agent Timothy McGee stared out at them.

"Boss?"

The voice was faint and scared.

There was a moment's hesitation and then Tim started up again, his eyes agonized.

"I don't know what's happening to me…I don't know if I can stop it…."

_Looking back at the beginning of this  
And how life was  
Just you and me and love and all of our friends  
Living life like an ocean  
Now the currents slowly pulling me down  
It's getting harder to breath  
It won't be too long and I'll be going under  
Can you save me from this?_

'Cause it's not my time,  
I'm not going  
There's a fear in me  
It's not showing  
This could be the end of me  
And everything I know  
Oh, I won't go

I look ahead to all the plans that we made  
And the dreams that we had  
I'm in a world that tries to take them away  
Oh, but I'm taking them back  
All this time I've just been to blind to understand  
What should matter to me  
My friend, this life we live  
Is not what we have, it's what we believe

It is not my time  
I'm not going  
There's a fear in me  
It's not showing  
This could be the end of me  
And everything I know  
But It's not my time  
I'm not going  
There's a will in me  
Now I know that  
This could be the end of me  
And everything I know  
Oh, I won't go……

"Could someone PLEASE get rid of that damn music!" Gibbs snapped as he watched his young agent drowning in pain and fear at whatever was going on inside him.

(

_(Thank you so much for your patience with this story as I know I have had big gaps in updating this. Nearly there now though. Precious)_


	25. Chapter 24

The familiar voice pierced the wax proof paper covering over its glass jar with the knife it cautiously kept strapped to its ankle. With a mighty tear it slashed at the paper and created a hole large enough that it could pull itself through. It might be conservative and it might be boring but it had managed to keep Timothy McGee (mostly) out of trouble his entire life. No uninhibiting super virus was going to take over his ego while he had something to say about it!

With a firm sense of purpose the familiar voice dropped over the edge of the jar, strode over to the angry voice and poked it firmly in the shoulder.

"Hey you. Get the hell out of my subconscious!"

*******************************************************************

Tim screamed again and grabbed at his head as a tearing sensation ripped through him. What the hell was that? It felt like his mind was arguing with itself, violently. Not arguing….fighting…wrestling…stabbing. He tossed his head and felt again the frustration of the handcuffs at his wrists as he tried to claw at his head.

Abby…..He had said or done something dreadful to Abby.

"No! Don't you hurt…" Tim tried to insist to the intruder. It must understand…it was him wasn't it? In some way? Surely it would know not to hurt his friends?

The screaming in his mind became louder and he tried to escape to ….think…to figure out whatever was going on. He couldn't. If only the pain or…he ..could focus …he needed to do something……..

Suddenly McGee bucked again and he strained back from the table the cords in his neck standing out from the tension. It was trying to escape! No he couldn't let that happen!

With a scream he slammed his head down hard onto the table with a sharp crack. Blood started trickling down the cut on the side of his forehead as his eyes glazed over.

Silence.

For a blissful second the pain flashed red across his eyes and then there was nothing. Tim licked his lips and croaked to the silvered glass knowing he didn't have much time.

"Boss?"

What should he say? Did they know that this wasn't really him?

"I don't know what's happening to me…I don't know if I can stop it…."

*******************************************************************

The familiar voice battled valiantly knowing even as it did so that its foe was far stronger then it was. But there was still hope. He had to try!

Suddenly the angry voice paused and gurgled in horror as it assessed the stupid geek's memories of the most recent minutes.

"Spaghetti"

Filled with a renewed sense of conviction the familiar voice launched itself at the weakening angry voice. There was no option of a compromise now, it was death or dishonor. With a battle cry and the knife sharp in its hand it continued its advance on the still fighting vicious invader.

"You do not mess with Timothy McGee!"

*******************************************************************

"Gibbs please"

Abby begged as she watched Tim writhe in agony against himself. Gibbs hated watching it but he knew that whatever was going on here was crucial and it was McGee himself who had to fight for his own sanity.

Tony bit his lip and jammed his hands under his folded arms. He wanted to turn away but to listen to the screaming without watching was worse.

Ziva with her head bowed was quietly murmuring a prayer for her friend as she clutched her Star of David pendant in her hand.

Tim suddenly looked up at nothing, every sense straining as he searched through his own mind. Blood started to trickle down from his nose from the pressure of whatever was going on inside his head and Abby whimpered.

"No!"

Then with a suddenly joyful grin and a flash of familiar green eyes at the mirrored glass his eyes rolled up into his head and he passed out pale and exhausted onto the table.

*******************************************************************

Tim came to with his head pillowed in Tony's lap and the rest of his team peering down at him. He jumped as the disorientation was severe. Hadn't he been sitting up at the table a moment ago? Or yesterday?

"Owwwwww" Tim grabbed his head as the mother of all headaches pounded through his head and made its presence felt. The team breathed a sigh of relief at this very mundane response.

"McGee? You in there?" Tony flicked his face and Tim batted his hand away and frowned at him

"What are you doing Tony?" Tim couldn't keep the annoyance out of his voice.

"Just checking. Hey pop quiz genius. Would you rather

A, Take over the world

B, Film a rap music video with gorgeous women all over you or

C, Sing at the Eurovision Song Contest?

Tim groaned "uhhh None of the above. I would like an aspirin and a shower and to be able to go to sleep. Oh and for you to stop talking"

Tony grinned at his friends "Oh yeah McGee's back all right"

Gibbs knelt closer and looked deep into McGee's eyes.

"Are you ok McGee? Do you remember what happened?"

Tim felt suddenly very nervous as everyone eagerly peered at him.

"Uh the last thing I really remember ….we were in the car and I was hot and Tony was annoying me. Something about Bees? Did someone get stung by a bee?"

Gibbs smiled while Tony rolled his eyes.

"Seriously McGee, that's no fun. You shut down the yard remember? Dosed everyone's water? Put porn up in MTAC? Threw a party in the gym?"

Tim just blinked at him while Ziva dabbed away the blood from his face.

"Why would I put porn in MTAC? I mean the Director would be furious!"

Gibbs smirked at Tim's confusion.

"Yeah you might say that. Come on let's get up."

Gibbs reached down and helped pull McGee to his feet where he swayed for a moment.

"Wow I feel like I am still falling….." Tim suddenly trailed off and looked at Tony in horror.

"Oh my God. Did I jump off something really high up? Like really, really high up? You tried to grab me and I just …let go…I should be dead!" Tim trailed off aghast.

Tony laughed. "Yes you should be except for the spot of crowd surfing you also did."

Tim grabbed Tony's arm clutching it in his.

"Oh Tony I'm so sorry. That was terrible of me. You must have thought I was out of my mind"

Tim looked anxiously at him and Tony patted him consolingly on the back

"Ah don't forget McGee you kind of were out of your mind. But I thought you couldn't remember?" Tony asked suspiciously

"I can't not really….just getting sort of flash backs"

Tony grinned "Well don't worry about it. You will be apologizing to …well everyone for the next few YEARS so try not to let it bug you too much. Do you remember the Circus Elephant?"

"The what?" Tim suddenly felt very pale and then Abby elbowed Tony in the ribs.

"Don't worry McGee. There wasn't a circus elephant. I mean there was practically everything else but no circus elephants." Abby grinned happily and Tim tried to feel reassured.

"Oh. That's good then." He whispered and then with an alarmed look he slowly edged away from Abby. Had he really handcuffed her and duct taped her to her lab table? Oh my god she was going to kill him. He bumped into Ziva and whirled around to face her and his eyes grew round.

Ziva smiled at him "Are you sure you are ok McGee?"

Tim couldn't form the words and he stood staring at her with his mouth working soundlessly. All he remembered in that instant was kissing Ziva in Interrogation, his fingers tangled in her long hair…Wait that was a fantasy wasn't it? Or was it in the gym that they kissed? He couldn't really remember. Or did she kiss him? Why would she kiss him? Ok definitely the drugs talking

Tim looked at Ziva nervously and she laughed. It was a relief to have the slightly nervous McGee back again.

"Did we…….did we kiss?" He asked nervously

Ziva grinned "Was it good for you?" she purred lightly running her fingertips up his chest and Tim wondered if he might just faint.

She was teasing him right?

Tim stumbled back shaking his head trying to sort the truth from reality. Bees? Real? Dirty dancing? Must have been imaginary. Who the hell was Travis? Crowd surfing?? Tony said that was real. Kidnapping Cynthia??? Please God let that be imaginary. The program that he……

"Ah Boss?" Tim looked up at Gibbs nervously and Gibbs narrowed his eyes.

"What McGee?"

Gibbs was not reassured by the sweat he saw suddenly break out on McGee's brow but he resisted the urge to shake him knowing that the young agent had already been through a hell of a day. They had only just got him back. It wouldn't be a good idea to kill him now.

"You might want to …uh…..get the air conditioning…at the …Uh ……Pentagon checked out?" Tim trailed off with a squeak and he flushed.

Gibbs groaned and put his head in his hands.

Not again.

(

_(Thank you very much for the reviews and your patience in allowing me to continue this story. I hope you enjoyed. Precious)_


End file.
